The Power of Not Having an Opinion

How an insult from a reader liberated me as a writer.

I recently received a pretty insulting comment on one of my articles. But instead of feeling offended, I felt liberated.

Without getting into specifics, this reader essentially told me that my opinion is irrelevant. I found this both ironic and flattering considering the fact that, until recent years, I never had an opinion at all.

To suddenly have an opinion, whether it was one that mattered or not, felt like an accomplishment!

I used to think my easygoing nature was a personality strength. That’s what the quizzes in Seventeen Magazine always said. It wasn’t until college that I realized I was living in a world where opinions trump facts and even science. The blunt and bustling world of social media, specifically this hell on earth we call the comment sections, made me feel like I was drowning in a pool of political correctness and personal pandemonium.

I found it fascinating the way people could produce opinions like clockwork as if manufactured by some ticking machine inside their think boxes.

How can anyone be so decisive? How can anyone be so sure that something is exactly the way they see it and no other possible way? I see multiple roads to every destination. I have five answers to every question. What do you want for dinner? Every day, the same decision to make.

Part of me could eat anything. The other part of me just wants to figure out what my partner wants for dinner by mentioning an array of possibilities and gauging his peak of interest at each option. This drives him nuts.

Still, he doesn’t complain because he knows this personality flaw is the same reason why we never argue.

Empathy is the ability to wear other people’s shoes

There are articles on the internet explaining how to express yourself without sounding arrogant. This suggests that decisiveness breeds stubbornness. While indecision can become a debilitating trait if you let it, it can also allow you to see different angles of an argument.

In my experience, people without strong opinions tend to be better communicators. They put themselves in other peoples’ shoes. They understand a situation’s complexities and consider the possibilities.

I used to envy those who could produce their opinions on command, but I’m beginning to wonder whether these rapid-fire opinions are biased reactions given by people who subconsciously want to make a broader statement — that they have a strong opinion.

Decisiveness is considered key to being well-rounded and self-aware. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have a better understanding of the world.

The beauty of not giving a f**k

Just because someone doesn’t have an immediate response doesn’t mean they’re lazy or uninformed. We all respond differently. We’re all entitled to our response rate, the same way we’re entitled to our opinion. That said, I’d rather argue with a person who takes the night to sleep on it than someone who word-vomits out of spite.

I was once scolded about the importance of articulating my beliefs and standing steadfast in my own arbitrary insight by the same person who later called me “too judgemental.”

This made me feel indifferent. Life is a losing battle, which is why I’ve chosen to take the comments and criticism in stride.

Because, as I said to the reader who told me that my opinion doesn’t matter, neither does yours.

Still, I’m glad she shared it. I’m glad she took the time. I’m glad she cared enough about my article to respond. Because as much as we don’t want to admit it, our opinions do matter. They matter to us.

Our opinions impact our perception of the world and our perception of the world is the only world we live in.

You don’t need to be domineering to write well

I had a mental breakdown about six months ago. I can partially thank Medium. I was writing semi-consistently on the platform without seeing any impact at all. I was also applying to content writer positions and submitting work to writing competitions to no avail. I finally snapped.

“You’re a sh*t writer,” I told myself. It was the only explanation. “I have nothing to say and no one cares! My education was a waste of money! My one and only passion is a waste of time!” I was giving up.

But I still found myself like a moth to the flame of a new Word document. I still got a fluttering in my chest when I strung together a succinct sentence. I was still a writer, as much as I knew or thought that I sucked at it.

So, I kept writing. And I’ll continue writing, which means I’ll continue receiving criticism and commentary, both positive and negative. And that’s OK. I invite all opinions. That’s the whole point of language, expressing ourselves, sharing our thoughts, being human.

Have an opinion but don’t take it too seriously

So, is indecision a tragic flaw or a commendable quality? Does decisiveness breed arrogance? I’m too indecisive to decide but, who am I kidding?

It wouldn’t matter anyway.