The Power of Listening

“You’re a good listener,” many have told me. Initially, I was confused whether this was a compliment or an insult. As someone who rarely opens up and shares stories, I didn’t really know how to feel about it. However, the more people I meet, the more I realize what they mean.

People love being listened to!

Listening is such an underrated skill. In the midst of all the chaos and clamor in this world, one could easily forget to observe and perceive. The key to having any meaningful conversation is to genuinely be interested in what the other person has to say, and the ability to listen is the first step in that direction. People love being listened to! Whether it be a fun chat or a tense conversation, this one valuable trait can make everything easier.

The way I look at it, there are two states of the human mind:

i) The state of reaction

ii) The state of observation

The state of reaction primarily comprises of expressing feelings, emotions, and thoughts. It is basic human nature to be in this state. We all want to talk, connect, and express ourselves in any way possible. The state of observation, on the other hand, involves the ability to perceive and absorb information, stimulating the receptive sensors of the brain.

Good listeners largely lie in the latter state. They try to take as much input as possible before expressing themselves, making them acknowledge the various perspectives of any argument. Only then do they proceed to form their own thoughts about the subject at hand. This doesn’t mean they don’t talk. Of course, they want to convey their opinions too. It is just about picking the right moments, instead of raving spontaneously.

When you listen more, you think more. The more you think, the more you understand. And understanding is the essence of any conversation.

Having disagreements does not mean you cannot produce meaningful conversations.

This applies to any situation. Whether you’re debating with your friend about who is the greatest footballer of all time, or you are having a fight with your significant other, your time to rant and express your thoughts will come. Be patient.

First, gathering all the different information and perspectives is vital before forming your opinion. Every story or argument always has two sides. Make sure you ‘listen’ to both. Of course, you can agree or disagree with either of them, but make sure you understand both opinions. This will help make those tough conversations so much easier to go through, even when there are diverging opinions. Having disagreements does not mean you cannot produce meaningful conversations.

The ability to listen is a quality that is being largely overlooked in today’s world. However, once developed, it could have plenty of positive impacts on your life and how you communicate with people. Practice it in your next conversation!