The Porch People

I wonder what the neighbors think

I’m not saying the neighbors are talking about us. But if they were, I couldn’t really blame them.

We have a beautiful backyard. It’s pretty big and has a pool. We’ve got comfy chairs around the pool, a big table with a huge umbrella, a hammock in the shade, and a sofa. We have two kinds of firepits and lots of privacy. The previous owners did a great job laying out a little piece of paradise.

But that’s not why the neighbors have reason to talk.

There are two things the backyard doesn’t have. It doesn’t have morning shade. It doesn’t have any action unless we have someone over or we’re in the pool.

You know what we have in the front yard? Shade and action.

We have a little porch area by the front door with an eight-foot overhang. We can sit out there in the rain and not get wet. It’s sheltered from the wind. It’s a lovely place to eat breakfast, read the news, discuss the news, make phone calls, enjoy an extended cup of coffee, and eventually eat lunch. In the heat of summer, the sun doesn’t shine on that porch until 3:00.

I used to be a little disenchanted by the porch, with its cushioned Adirondack chairs and side table. The setup just didn’t lend itself to writing or playing games on the computer. Then I got a folding end table. It’s great for holding a plate and a cup while I’m reading a magazine. But if I move it in front of me, it’s a perfect desk. And, as I’m partial to using a mouse, the arm of the Adirondack chair is wide enough to serve as a mousepad.

Are you starting to see why the neighbors might have cause to talk?

Even the dog likes it out there. If only my husband or I sit out there, Charlie takes the other chair. If it’s chilly out, especially in the early morning, we are sure to bring out a blanket for him. When we’re both out there, we lay down his dog bed.

I mentioned action in the front yard. Lots of people are out there walking, and many of those people are walking with their dogs. If Charlie isn’t busy napping, he gets huffy about those other dogs. He’s not above barking and chasing. We solve the problem by chaining him to a flower pot.

This is our second rendition of the flower pot dog anchor. It’s actually a big pot with a little pot inside. The little flower pot is filled with cement. I once incorrectly thought that it was good enough. Then one day little Charlie decided he wanted to scare off a German shepherd. It wasn’t terribly hard for me to catch up to the beagle/Boston terrier struggling down the driveway barking and trailing a cement-filled flower pot. I love Charlie, but it can be a bit of an embarrassment when he doesn’t know his limits.

My husband and I love to sit on our porch and watch the people and dogs go by. I’m usually up and out there with a cup of tea and Charlie by 7:30. Perry joins around 10:00. I stay until my workday ends, usually around noon, but Perry and Charlie are pretty set until 3.

I can just hear the neighbors talking.

“I hear they have a gorgeous backyard, but they live out front.”

“Do you think they’re in financial trouble? I think they rent the house out and live outside.”

“Directions to Maple St.? Sure. Turn right at the next corner. On the right, you’ll pass a house with an older couple and a dog on the porch. When you pass them, make the next left. The next intersection is Maple St.”

“I don’t know what she does for a living, but she’s on a laptop all day. That porch is her office.”

“This is a great neighborhood. Never any crime on this street. We’ve got a permanent crime watch right up there near the corner.”

“Oh, they’re very friendly. They’ll have a chat with anyone who stops to say ‘Good morning.’ They’re really nice, but it’s strange that they’re always out there.

“You know how most people go inside when it’s going to rain, especially if there’s a thunderstorm? Not them. If the storm’s in the morning or the afternoon, they’re out there anyway. If it storms at night, they come out to watch. It’s a wonder they haven’t been hit by lightning.”

“Who? Oh yeah! The porch people.”

“They entertain a lot. If it rains on one of their barbecues, they all hang out on the porch. One day last August there must have been twenty of them crammed under the overhang. They have extra chairs for when company comes.”

Do I really believe anyone ever said anything about us? Nope. I don’t think so. People are too busy going about their own lives to worry about what we’re doing.

If anybody did wonder about us, all they’d have to do is walk by. Maybe we should add a couple of empty chairs for visitors.