The Play

A Poem

It has been one thing, and then another for as long as anyone can remember I’m sure of this, we don’t get breaks, we don’t have culturally mandated spiritual stops in the day, stops in the stress, stops in the search for enough —

We just go, push ourselves, push others, rush, and go we scold and chide and berate ourselves, and others, all day in traffic,at work, in our minds.

If I had the choice, and I guess the wise ones say we do, I do — I would choose compassion over hurt any day, and yet when I try telling this to myself, I may as well be

talking to a wall, the air, the ground, and why not — these things are nice things, good things, and I try to smile and say so am I, as am I, now let’s do this, let’s get through this, show on the road and such —

weary travelers, my thoughts, constantly awake, I am begging them to not rehearse for the only play they seem to know — the one where I am overwhelmed, hurt, violated, abandoned, alone, — can anyone

send them a new script? What a bore, what a chore to act out this same one every time and expect something different to happen after — there is no Tony for this dismal performance, let’s

try something new, fresh, a bit uplifting, a bit victorious and who am I kidding the only play I want to see in my head is one where everyone is calm, meditating, smiling, paid well, emotionally and spiritually.

One thing, after another, we have to insert that peace in the seconds we have in between, we have to make that space longer, for calm, for healing, for change — we have to direct our way to the life we wish to see play out.

Author’s Note: I am fascinated by the tension between what we really know to do, we know what might be best for us, we can access tools and resources that help us learn to be calm, to be at peace, to work on changing our scripts, but yet, things in life can overwhelm and hurt just so much that it is a constant effort to go back and forth, to return to the scripts we are used to, the ones that hurt us, and the scripts we are learning to try out — the ones about self love, self-compassion, the ones about blessings and gratitude and safety and strength in who we are.

I write this after another day of waking early, so early, and trying to feel fresh, start fresh, talk to the things that are worrying me, scaring me, hurting me, and I write this after friends reach out to me and show me they care, which is a blessing, and which re-sets my script again and again and again. Now I need to learn how to direct it all in my mind, to rehearse that new and kinder play. Blessings to you and to those who show up for my show no matter what shape it’s in. It is a work in progress.

Jenny Justice is a poet mom who longs to bring poetry to life in ways that spark empathy, connection, joy, and feeling. You can follow her on Medium and at Jenny Justice, Writer. You can follow her poetry at Justice Poetic.