Self/Relationships/Life Lessons

The Person Who Made Me Miserable Died Last Week

I was so excited and hosted a party yesterday. What about you? Do you have anyone who made you miserable and hindered your progress in life? Learn powerful life lessons from my six friends.

She dies, and I’m thrilled.

“When you start to think of revenge, you start to think of hate. I don’t believe in hating people. It’s a retrogressive thing.” — Fela.

Hi there. I’m Mika from Aliceville, Alabama.

I’m the only child of my late mother. She didn’t like or love me. I was her punching bag and the worst enemy. I remember any time she wore her yellow skirt, that was a bad day for me. Our tiny house and the surest nasty house in the neighborhood had many secrets between the green walls, and I’ll not share them here.

The good news.

That woman called my mother, died last week, and I was so glad she died. Hear me out before you judge me. Yes, I was excited she left this world without me thinking about her anymore. She tortured me all my life and gave me hell. Last, I’m finally free from her.

I threw a small party with my friends, and some were unsure about the party. Two sent me a condolence card, and I was pissed about the card saying, ‘Sorry for the loss of your Mom.’ She was evil. I think she was worse than Hitler. Well, I haven’t even read about Hitler or the devil. I believe she was worse than them with what I heard about the devil when she forced me to attend church every day for sixteen years. I heard more about the devil in the church than Jesus for those sixteen years.

Two friends came to the party with beautiful purple-blue flowers, and their faces looked sad and worried. But from the get-go, I told them to feel comfortable and let us have fun and talk. Two friends were torn with my attitude and stayed quiet while observing everyone and everything.

As some of us were happy, laughing, and dancing, I caught myself and asked everyone to share their experience with their parents or relatives growing up.

One by one, each of us came up with a narrative to accuse or degrade our haters of what they did or didn’t do to us.

I am sharing this because, after the party, I learned a life lesson I wish I had known many years ago. And I am sure I would lose some of my friends. I would be surprised if one takes my call again.

Our conversation

Me: My mother, who stole my childhood, died last week. And this party is for me to part ways with her memory and the damage she caused me.

Alisa: My mother is in the nursing home, and I’m so happy she is paying for the abuse she put me through for eighteen years.

Helena: My former boss was killed by arm robbery, and the company closed after nine months. God killed him for cheating on his employees, and now I can’t find a full-time job that pays the bills. God will never forgive him. And I won’t either.

Zita: My best friend dated and married my ex-husband. It seemed he treated his new wife better than he treated me. I forgave them the day my new husband welcomed my ex to our home, looked him in the eyes and said, “Thanks, bro, for giving me a wife and best friend.” I looked on and smiled. That did it for me; now we are friends and co-parenting our two children. I’m free and happy. You all know the story.

Me: Yeah. My ex-friend too. She is a devil, like my mom.

Tena: My father is a dictator. And I hated him more when I saw him with his new wife and children. I always feel like killing him for the miserable life he gave me and my mom.

Gina: I have had good experiences with my family. We had a good and bad time. I’m here to learn from you and I hope you learn from me.

Me: Good for you. I know your mom. She is the best mom ever.

Gina: My mom is not a saint, but a human being who makes mistakes too.

Me: Not like my mom at all.

Gina: Did you live in my house 24/7? Anita, it’s your turn.

Anita: Thank you, Gina. My father is a controlled freak, and I am so grateful that my real number-one hater died a year ago after seeing a therapist. She asked me to look at myself in the mirror and decide who held me back or made me bitter. I was disappointed with her for being so ruthless. After that session, I wondered why I always date toxic men, befriend broke friends, and permit my parents to invade my privacy.

My old me died a year ago, and now I’m so happy with a new me kicking ass and living the best life I have ever known.

Me: You mean all these people who made us suffer are not to be blamed for what they did to us?

Anita: Again. I’m sorry for your mom. That is not what I’m saying. My therapist reminded me that those people are not suffering today. The therapist’s suggestion was correct because my dad remarried and cared more for his new wife and children than he did for us.

So, you decide what you want. My good life is on me, and I make a choice every day, and it’s getting better for me, not my haters. When my mom and dad call now, our conversation is short and sweet because I’m sharing how wonderful my life is, and I sense that my dad is jealous of my newfound happiness and freedom.

Tena: I think you’re comparing your trauma with ours.

Anita: Excuse me, I’m talking to Mika. Please don’t celebrate because your mom, who abused you, died last week. Be honest, or you will continue to be miserable if you refuse to permit your old self to pass. Check out yourself in the mirror and let the person you see die so you can live a beautiful life. Your haters don’t care or remember your existence. Wonderful discussion! I’m going to go. See you soon.

Anita left us hanging like fools, and we all sat in silence. One by one, we left one another without saying a word.

Wow! The party did something strange for me.

To be continued.

Would Gina and Anita be my friends again? Thank you for joining the conversation.

Follow me here.

BY 06/2023.