The Perks of Living With OCD

An optimistic perspective on the chronic illness from a lifelong sufferer

For over 3 million Americans including myself, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a crippling and chronic mental illness that wreaks havoc on our personal, professional, and private lives.

Notably, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, those suffering with OCD are plagued with uncontrollable thoughts, known as obsessions which differ depending on the individual, but often consist of a fixation on cleanliness, recurring fears of tragedy, and chronic doubt.

Essentially, when suffering from OCD, your brain is constantly fixated on an impending never-ending apocalypse.

Even worse, those suffering from OCD feel the irresistible compulsion to engage in compensatory behaviors to suppress these uncomfortable thoughts.

Those unfamiliar with OCD most stereotypically associate it with constant hand-washing.

However, compulsions can be virtually any repetitive and irresistible behavior that the OCD mind demands in order to protect oneself from this aforementioned apocalypse. (Hint: they don’t work and in many cases, only make things worse.)

So, at face value, OCD seems like an absolute shit storm that terrorizes the minds of its sufferers.

Often times, from my experience, this is true.

However, my severe, daily, longstanding, and never-ending battle with OCD has demonstrated that the illness comes with some kick-ass perks.

Never Forgotten

One particularly severe aspect of OCD I suffer from is what is known as the “checking tendency.”

Although it can take numerous forms, the “checking tendency” at its simplest is the dire and unending need to perform a double check… triple check… and on bad days, a 47th check to confirm that a given task is complete.

This compulsion stems from the fact that weary OCD sufferers doubt everything, and if the double check is not performed, your eyes will pop out of their sockets, your heart will explode, your entire family will die, and the world will end.

For me, this compulsion entails continuously and illogically checking that the stove is off, that my car door is locked, that I remembered my apartment keys etc.

Now, this excessive and unnecessary obsession and compulsion may seem quite shitty.

Often times, it is.

However, the “checking tendency” has been pivotal to my academic and writing success.

In three years of college, I have not missed a single assignment nor turned in one late, because my crippling OCD has forced me to double check the syllabus, contact friends, email the professor, and check my online assignment dashboard numerous times per assignment.

Also, I feel the need to read and reread academic papers, professional articles and general works an absurd number of times.

While this compulsion certainly benefits my writing and general comprehension, I still somehow manage to succumb to typos, but less so than the typical human being.

Rituals

OCD sufferers are widely known for having bizarre and inescapable rituals.

For example, right before I set out to drive, I always double check that my shoe laces are tied, make sure my phone is off, check my shoe laces again, glance in the rearview mirror to see how I look (I’m vain), and then start my car.

Wacky?

Indeed.

However, routines, such as the one I have provided, have proven to be a superpower in my writing career.

For example, prior to writing, I perform the same steps: 1, turn off my phone and leave it in the bathroom drawer furthest from the entrance; 2, I always make sure I have two filled water bottles; and 3, before sitting down to write, I engage in the Wim Hof Breathing Method (Try it; it’s life changing).

These steps allow me to eliminate distractions, to clear my head, and to resist the urge to move away from my computer, thus enabling me to consistently write for marathon sessions near-impossible for the normal human being.

Taboo Thoughts

Another, particularly frightening aspect of OCD is the obsession with taboo thoughts.

Now, mine are quite personal, so I will use more general examples to convey my point.

An example of a taboo thought might be that while driving down a crowded street, say Times Square, an OCD sufferer might have the recurring, unwanted, and inescapable thought of losing control of his/her car, plowing into the crowd, and hurting or worse, killing innocent bystanders.

To be very clear, the OCD sufferer will NOT commit this act, and has NO desire to commit this act, but is merely plagued with this UNWANTED thought.

In actuality, the OCD sufferer’s thoughts result in his/her’s overly cautious driving safeguarding against this fear, but in the process, evoking severe and unnecessary emotional distress.

Obviously, this aspect of OCD torments sufferers and leaves them feeling isolated and ashamed.

However, to focus on the positive, my own taboo thoughts empower me to come up with phenomenal, original, and jaw-dropping fictional stories.

It’s easy.

Just dive into these vile thoughts, record them, and voila, a kick-ass story ensues.

Thank you OCD!

Suffering from OCD can be hell.

However, like any other obstacle in life, if you look at things from an optimistic perspective, your most difficult setback can be used as a superpower.