The Perks and Perils of Being a Japanese Bachelorette#
Hello everyone!!
Today I’m going to explain “konkatsu,” which has become a huge topic in Japan!!
While Japanese women have high ideals for marriage partners, various other issues are also involved. For example, late marriage is a major factor!!
OK, let’s take a look at the content!
There are many aspects to consider in examining the themes of Japanese women’s marriage and late marriage. This phenomenon is influenced not just by statistics and societal factors, but also by culture, economics, and individual values. In this essay today, I will dig into each element and focus on the unique Japanese characteristics that underlie them.
First, the difficulty of balancing work and family is a background factor in Japanese women marrying later. In the past, it was common for women to mainly support the household and men to work outside. But times have changed. Many women now have high education levels and are engaged in specialized professions. Still, achieving balance between home and work is not easy, as many companies still hold the stereotype that “women quit work when they get married or have children.”
Japanese views on marriage also play a role in this trend. In Japan, getting married is often seen as a kind of “social success.” However, for modern women to succeed in society requires a great investment of time and effort. As a result, the time and energy they can devote to marriage and child-rearing decreases.
Furthermore, matchmaking itself has become highly systemized in Japan. Konkatsu, or marriage hunting, has many methods like matchmaking parties, dating sites, and arranged meetings. While these may seem efficient, in reality there is also a lot of pressure involved. Especially for women, expectations are high regarding age, looks, education, and even family background.
With all these circumstances stacked up, it’s undeniable that women themselves have become more passive about marriage. In Japanese culture, marriage is seen not as an individual choice but one involving the whole family and society. Under this kind of pressure, it’s easy to lose sight of what you yourself actually want.
However, this doesn’t mean that women don’t want to get married. While many women hope to marry, they also want to balance that with their careers, hobbies, relationships and other values. The idea that marriage is not the only measure of life success is slowly but surely gaining ground.
Konkatsu zyakusha (Marriage Hunting Losers)
Lately in the marriage hunting scene, there are increasing numbers of men and women called “Konkatsu zyakusha,” or marriage hunting “losers” — people who desperately want to get married but are unable to because their standards are too high or for other reasons.
Among women in particular, a characteristic pattern is that as they age, they seem unable to realize that their chances of marriage keep declining, and they persist in laying out unrealistic marriage requirements. Even past age 40, many remain unemployed and living with parents, hoping to marry a man earning over 10 million yen annually and to be full-time homemakers. However, from the perspective of such elite men, the chances of selecting an unemployed woman in her late forties still living at home when equivalent women are available must be extremely low.
Meanwhile, the marriage hunting market is also seeing an increase in “tesupei konkatsu joshi” (low-cost hunting girls), women participating in marriage hunting for monetary reasons. At konkatsu parties and group blind dates, women’s participation fees are set at around a fifth of men’s fees. Attracted by the low cost, it appears that groups of unemployed women in their thirties and forties hoping to meet elite men are increasing. Despite being completely ignored by men, these women seem to regard practically free marriage hunting as a given, and some are criticized as viewing men as nothing more than ATMs.
In addition, holding “reflection meetings” after group dates to gripe about the men is also seen as indicating the low moral standards of marriage hunting women. The women take for granted that men will cover all food and drink costs, and appear to feel no gratitude. Rather, being skilled at extracting more money from men appears to be positively evaluated.
As described above, in recent marriage hunting, both men and women seem to be increasingly focused on self-benefit rather than mutual consideration.
Equalizing participation fees for marriage hunting events could increase male participation and build equal relations between men and women. Also, marriage-hunting “losers” among women need to face reality and find partners matching their own circumstances. Rather than focusing on looks, age, or income, I believe paying attention to personality could lead to unexpected encounters. Without forgetting mutual care and reconsidering the value of simply pursuing higher earnings, a focus on happiness for both men and women may be beneficial.
What do you think?
Depending on whether you are male or female, your thoughts may differ!!
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