The Perils of Perfectionism on Your Well-Being

The lessons of striving from personal experience and trial and error

The psychologist Salvator Maddi argues that two versions of success depend on the difference of the postulated force.

If the force is the tendency to express an ever-greater degree of the capabilities, potentialities, or talents based on one’s genetic constitution, then you are dealing with the ACTUALIZATION MODEL

In the PERFECTION Model, the force is the tendency to strive for what will fulfill life your passions or goals; in my case, that was to compensate for weakness and inferiority.

The perfection model is one I favor. This may apply to as well. Striving to realize an ideal, like weight loss, sobriety, smoking cessation, or mastering writer’s block, has been on my radar for more than a decade. As I have learned, undertaking to achieve such goals requires discipline, game plans, and accountability partners to provide encouragement.

“If you want to find the real competition, just look in the mirror. After awhile, you’ll see your rivals scrambling for second place.” Criss Jami, Killosophy

Striving drives, you to achieve your goals and desires. It is the wish to be better, to do better, and to achieve more. Striving motivates us to push ourselves beyond our previous limits or at least to move beyond formulation to execution.

Downsides of Perfectionism

A recent essay from the Wharton School argues that perfectionism can lead to negative consequences such as overwork, fear of failure, and loss of self-worth.

Hence striving has its downsides if practiced to excess.

Those who produce flawless work have higher motivation and conscientiousness than those who exhibit less commitment.

However, they are also more likely to set inflexible and lofty standards and hold an all-or-nothing mindset about their performance. This can lead to increased stress, less creativity, poor mental health, and analysis paralysis.

In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s story ‘The Birthmark’ the author presents the theme that being perfect is not without costs.

The woman in the story has received positive compliments from others when referring to the mark on her face, so she thought the mark was perfect.

I was taught to strive not because there were any guarantees of success but because the act of striving is the only way to keep faith in life.” ― Madeleine Albright, M

Later in the story, the woman tells the man, “‘If there be the remotest possibility of it,’ continued Georgiana, ‘let the attempt be made, at whatever risk. The danger is nothing to me; for life-while, this hateful mark makes me the object of your horror and disgust-life is a burden which i would flog down with joy.”

Focus on Excellence

As I learned in the long years of striving for the above goals, going for excellence is more important than striving for perfection. There will be inevitable blind curves, accidental downturns, and periods of demoralization due to lack of progress or even regress.

Steady progress and restarts in the face of failure count for more than perfection, which is likely to be unattainable.

Three Helpful Strategies

I developed several tactics and strategies for dealing with downturns and distractions in goal striving. Among the tactics and strategies, I have used with satisfactory results are those that follow:

· Record keeping….to track progress and confirm or deny that you are on the correct path to success.

· Public commitment… Present your efforts to an audience, saying what you are about to reinforce your own motivation to go for a goal.

· Journal keeping…to generate motivating ideas, pull in meanings that may aid self-leadership, help identify obstacles, and evolve new strategies for overcoming

· Listen to yourself, especially your better self that KNOWS what is best for you……as in listening to your body.

· Look at role models or read stories of achievers who went on to do remarkable things.

Knowing about these strategies and using them as well is not automatic, and pitfalls always arise, it is difficult to stay focused and invest your time and energy consistently, over time, to bring about positive results.

“If you always do what is easy and choose the path of least resistance, you always stay within your comfort zone. Important things don’t come from comfort zones.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Knowing and doing can be close or not. The two can be brought closer with actions more so than with mindsets or perspectives. This has been my experience in a lifetime of personal change. The reader will note that most of the strategies are activities, not thoughts.

In conclusion, striving is an essential part of human nature that drives us to achieve our goals and aspirations. However, it is important to remember that striving for excellence is more important than striving for perfection. The former has fewer downsides, more satisfaction, and offers a better chance of success.