avatarWild River

Summarize

The Performance

A penny for your thoughts

Photo by Taisiia Shestopal on Unsplash

One probably shouldn’t write about such things, but who wants to read yet another listicle written by AI about how to make four figures a day with affiliate marketing, how many squillon followers a Medium celeb has, or more moaning about low earnings on the platform. When they said a penny for your thoughts which bit was hard to understand?!

Anyway, the performance. I say performance, but Medium says that less than 29 seconds doesn’t count, so on that basis my boyfriend’s latest effort in bed doesn’t register, like one of those articles which has views and perhaps claps but no reads, and certainly no happy conclusion.

Speaking of claps, I did wonder whether I should give him a single clap, in the perfunctory way that Tony Stubblebine does if he reads an article, as if to say good effort but must try harder. But then I thought that would be unkind, so perhaps 25 to show that he (my boyfriend, not Tony I hasten to add), was half-way there but leaving (considerable) room for improvement.

You may think, aghast, what if Wild’s boyfriend should read this? But to be honest he has trouble reading the instructions on IKEA furniture, or “A Cat In The Hat”, so there is no risk of him seeing any of my work on Medium. He has only just stopped pointing at the words as he reads, bless. As for highlights of his performance, there weren’t any really so I won’t be getting the marker pen out, though he did make me a nice cup of tea afterwards by way of apology, which to be honest, was much more enjoyable than the “performance”.

Relationships
Life
Self Improvement
Humor
Comedy
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