The Perfectionist Within Is Here To Help

Just don’t let it run the show

I understand what it means to be a perfectionist but I’m glad to say that I am no longer one. It’s a part of me that will always exist but is frequently ignored. I’ve stopped letting it run the show.

There are many positive and negative aspects of perfectionism. On the positive side, if you can meet the insanely high standards you set for yourself, it will make you extremely focused, dedicated and skilled.

On the negative, it can lead to immense frustration, copious time wasting, fear of failure, analysis paralysis and excessive anxiety.

After thinking deeply about this dilemma, I hesitate to take an extreme position and say you should eliminate all perfectionist behaviour.

Instead, I recommend that you be selectively perfectionist.

My original title was “How to Silence the Perfectionist Within” but I realize that working with the perfectionist is far more worthwhile.

What is the Perfectionist Trying to Do and Why?

It’s important to understand why you have perfectionist tendencies. When honed correctly, you can be amazing at what you do. When used against yourself, you can end up paralysed with fear and anxiety.

Seeking validation or praise

The perfectionist within is trying to do their best work. They want to be praised for their abilities but unfortunately, it’s very difficult to do things perfectly.

The strike rate of the perfectionist is very low. More things get scrapped than completed. This becomes a problem when nothing or too little is being done.

If we were judged on a single piece of work, the perfectionist would win every time. But life isn’t like that, we have more than one thing we want to accomplish. There are things we want to try, and experiment without the burden of performance.

Avoiding pain or loss of social status

Tying into the pursuit of validation is also the reverse. The perfectionist is trying to avoid embarrassment and maintain social status. Maybe you were previously praised for your ability to do things, and now you feel you have a reputation to uphold.

You care about what other people think of you and your work. If that is the case, it’s possible that the perfectionist isn’t working on your interests alone.

It’s working to appease others and influence their opinion of you.

Once you start realizing how foolish it is to let others dictate what you do, you start to realize that you just need to get things done. Perfectly or imperfectly.

Striving to be the best

Perhaps the perfectionist is seeking something more than just validation. Maybe it’s a competitive spirit which wants to be the best at something. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine that the top athletes, creatives, and executives in the world are perfectionists to some degree.

The desire to compete or even create your own category is something that is very respectable. But you must learn to hone your perfectionist tendencies and make them work for you.

The Perfectionist’s Blind Spots

A little thing called time

The perfectionist struggles with time management and realistic expectations.

The perfectionist tries to deliver their best work every time when good enough and on schedule is the objective.

The perfectionist has a blatant disregard for time constraints. Or maybe time just creeps up on people who aren’t paying attention.

There is a limit to what you can do and the perfectionist struggles to understand that.

I’m sorry to remind you that none of us will live forever.

What might be important today could be irrelevant tomorrow. Imagine a poorly written but prompt and accurate news article. Isn’t that better than an extraordinarily written piece that is just two years too late?

Time is our most valuable resource and the perfectionist sets fire to it every time they spend more than they need on a specific task or project. What’s worse is that the perfectionist will often commit the resources but fail to deliver.

Creativity comes with constraints

The perfectionists who suffer the most are those that understand limitations but fail to accept anything less than unrealistic perfection.

Constraints aren’t seen as potential for creativity. They are seen as an endless stream of stress and disappointment, something that holds the perfectionist back from being their true selves or showing the world what they can do.

The perfectionist stresses over tiny details that are in reality, quite negligible.

Find a way to enjoy constraints as a motivator and a source of creativity.

The benefits of a beginner’s mindset

The perfectionist ruins the benefits of being a beginner. Whenever you take on something new, you are by definition not perfect. Beginners make mistakes so that they can learn from them. There is no expectation of perfection and that facilitates rapid growth.

The perfectionist obsesses over things they don’t fully understand and it holds them back. They don’t submit work because they are afraid of judgement and they deprive themselves of constructive criticism from others who can provide a fresh perspective.

The Perfectionist as an Adviser

Although the perfectionist doesn’t know what it doesn’t know, most of the time they are aware of what can be done better. They can be your harshest critic. They can give you pointers to help you understand where you are going wrong.

But don’t let them run the show. Don’t give them the responsibility of keeping the time. Don’t let them dictate what you should and shouldn’t be doing.

Treat the perfectionist within as a consultant you sometimes ask for an opinion. Their role is to give you potential options to improve your work.

You are the ultimate decision maker. You decide if you want to spend more time crafting your story or if it is good enough to publish. You decide what a reasonable standard is in relation to the time you have.

In Summary

The perfectionist within seeks to create perfect outcomes in an uncertain and imperfect world. Work with your perfectionist and strike a balance between quality and quantity.

Remind the perfectionist that there are time constraints and don’t beat yourself up too much when you are unable to bring everything up to the impossible standard of perfect.

In order to maximize the impact of your work, sometimes it’s better to submit something on time when it matters than submitting something perfect when it isn’t important anymore.

Develop the self awareness to recognize when the perfectionist is giving you an advantage over others and when it is holding you back.

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