The Perfect Medium Between Toilet Paper and a Bidet

Oh, choices galore for your sensitive bits

Yes, the saga continues. As long as you’ve eaten your fruits and vegetables.

The answer is a spray bottle.

Ideally, a spray-squeeze bottle. With a head that curves. You could go with a straight head if the angle works out better for you that way.

It could be argued that the ideal in-between is baby wipes. If they’re sensitive enough for baby skin, they must be safe for our sensitive bits, right?

Well, I don’t know. There is specialized moist toilet paper for that.

A spray-squeeze bottle just offers… a pleasant sensation. It does a fair job of scratching an itch. You could refill it every night.

(Yes, yes, we could have a field day on the various ways to define “pleasant.”)

And you can/should still wipe down afterwards. This is better for the environment because you can buy the recycled kind that is usually more chafing than the fancy, quilted kind that probably gobbles up way too much of the planet’s natural resources.

So, there. You don’t even have to give up your toilet paper or spend what might not be an insignificant amount of cash to install a bidet near your porcelain throne.

If money were no object, of course, the best solution would be a Japanese toilet, but we can’t all live in such luxury.

Dash Ip did live in such luxury during his time in Japan.

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