Summary

A high school student learns about self-acceptance and the value of genuine interest over emulation after participating in a Dostoevsky essay contest, despite initially feeling overshadowed by a seemingly perfect friend.

Abstract

In the narrative, the protagonist grapples with the desire to be like her accomplished friend, who excels in all areas, from academics to social skills. The protagonist's attempts to mimic her friend's persona lead to a loss of identity and increased unpopularity. However, when both participate in an essay contest about their favorite author, Fyodor Dostoevsky, the protagonist realizes that authenticity is more important than perfection. By embracing her genuine passion for Dostoevsky's works, she finds success, earning the third prize in the contest, while her friend receives an honorable mention. This experience teaches her that her friend is human and fallible, which paradoxically strengthens their friendship. The story concludes with the protagonist receiving a thoughtful gift from her friend—a book by Dostoevsky—acknowledging their shared interest and the protagonist's own expertise.

Opinions

The protagonist initially views her friend as the epitome of perfection, leading to feelings of inadequacy and attempts to emulate her friend's traits.
The protagonist's family and friend encourage her to enter the essay contest not out of naivety or malice, but because they recognize her deep passion for Dostoevsky's literature.
The essay contest serves as a turning point, highlighting the importance of personal passion and effort over the pursuit of perfection based on someone else's standards.
The protagonist's success in the contest is a direct result of her authentic interest in the subject matter, suggesting that personal engagement with one's work can lead to greater achievements than trying to live up to an ideal.
The gift from the friend at the end signifies mutual respect and a shared love for Dostoevsky's works, indicating a healthier, more balanced friendship post-contest.

The Perfect Friend

When I was in high school, I had what I would call the ‘’perfect’’ friend.

She was the best in everything. I would get a B in Math, she would get an A. I would lose my temper when life would get unfair, she would remain cool and collected. I was at a loss for words, she would always find something to say. I had to try to get someone’s attention, with her, it just happened, oh so naturally.

She was everything I wanted to be. She was perfect. I wanted to be like her. For the longest time, I tried to mimic her personality. The words she used, her pauses, the way she smiled, the way she laughed. If I did everything the way she did, I would become her. Right?

Wrong.

The more I tried to become like my ‘’perfect’’ friend, the more I failed. It was like an actress trying to play a role she did not understand. Because no matter how much I admired my friend, the truth was, I did not really understand what made her the way she was. I just pretended to understand, with no success whatsoever.

The result was a comedy of errors. I looked fake. I thought I oozed confidence, but I oozed desperation. I thought I had become popular, but I had become even more unpopular than before. Not only did I not look anything like my perfect friend, but I also did not look anything like my real self either. I had turned into a stranger I was afraid to meet.

And then everything changed.

Our high school announced a Fyodor Dostoevsky essay contest. I was good at essays but surprise, surprise…my ‘’perfect’’ friend was better. So, when she announced, she was going to participate, I thought there was no point for me to participate; there was no way for me to beat her. I wished her well and tried to forget all about it.

But she insisted I should participate. I got mad. Why did she insist I participate knowing she was better than me? Did she want to see me humiliated? Some friend she was.

My parents insisted I should participate. I got even madder. Why did they insist I participate knowing my friend was better than me? Did they want to see me humiliated? Some parents they were.

They all answered the same.

Because you love Dostoevsky.

I DO love Dostoevsky. Truly, madly, deeply.

By the age 15, I had read The Idiot, Crime and Punishment, Notes from Underground (my favorite!) The Karamazov Brothers, Demons, The Gambler.

Over and over and over again.

I had highlighted countless sentences, written countless notes, and spent countless hours thinking how it was possible for an author to delve so deeply into the human soul.

No one does it like Dostoyevsky.

Yes, I had to participate in the Dostoevsky essay contest. I owed it to myself to try, regardless of the result.

And so, I did.

I went to the classroom, ready to write about what I loved, without caring if I would win, without caring if anyone was even going to like what I wrote.

I just wanted to write about my favorite author.

And so, I did.

And I didn’t win.

But I didn’t lose either.

I won the 3rd prize. $250 and my name on the board.

My friend got the 6th position and an honorable mention.

For once, I did better than my friend. She wasn’t perfect anymore. She was like the rest of us. She was like me. Human. I did not admire her so much anymore now that she was put off her pedestal, but I liked her more.

She congratulated me and got me a present.

White Nights and Other Stories by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

I did not have that book. I was so excited, and I didn’t want to hide it!

When I went home, I opened the book and on the front page I read:

“To my brilliant friend who I hope will sometimes help me with my college essays.’’