The Path to Making Money Online Is One Very Few People Are Willingly to Take
Authenticity takes courage but it pays off (literally!) in the end
There are three ways in which we can speak:
- First person
- Second person
- Third person
First person is the I/we perspective. Second person is the you perspective. Third person is the he/she/it/they perspective.
Two and three are easy.
One is scary as AF.
It’s scary AF because it requires honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability.
Anyone can share about someone else’s hardship or shortcomings, for example, but when it comes down to pouring one’s own hardships and shortcomings out onto the table it’s a lot harder and riskier.
Suddenly self-doubt, judgement, and the fear of what others might think or say can quickly rear their ugly heads.
This can feel like standing in a room full of strangers completely naked.
But here’s the thing:
Good content creators have the courage to stand in a room full of strangers completely naked every single day.
They know that the reward far outweighs the consequence.
So, they risk taking the judgement of some in order to reach those that might resonate with their message.
Typically, people that talk in the second or third person often do so to teach or inform. They can often be a great source of humour, connection, and even inspiration. There’s something beautiful about someone speaking in the second or third person. However, there’s something life-changing about someone speaking in the first person.
It’s raw, personal, and brave. It’s emotive, relatable, and real. It’s daring, risky, and even confronting at times. That’s the beauty of authenticity.
Authenticity creates a bridge in which the creator says “I’m scared and nervous too but I’m going there anyway. Are you with me?”
Now, if you’re thinking, “Well Andy that all sounds great but you’re not exactly preaching what you teach here… everything you’re writing about is in the third person too,” you’d be absolutely right. And well observed. I’m not about to deny that.
So, now it’s time for me to stand in front of you completely naked and risk being seen, even judged.
Gulp.
Get ready.
Here goes.
After years of dreaming about becoming a writer, I began to actualise that dream back in 2020. However, after 6 months of trying, I wasn’t getting very far.
The writing sucked, but that wasn’t the issue.
The issue was that I was sharing from a place of having figured everything out when I really hadn’t. It was hard to swallow but I was a fake. And everything from my views, my earnings, my audience, and the lack of responses I was getting, reflected it.
That’s because I was forgetting the one fundamental rule: Readers want to know who they are reading. And the more real it gets, the better.
Before I realised this, the idea of talking about my anxiety felt easier if I could write about it as if I’d overcome it. I even picked titles such as How I Live with Anxiety Better and Soma Breath: My #1 Tool for Overcoming Anxiety.
But when I could finally admit to myself, and to everyone else, that I was and still am a deeply flawed human being that’s still trying to figure out life at the age of 31, I could finally stop pretending and be real.
I could express that I’m still trying to understand what my heart wants and needs, what’s good for my health, how to give and receive love, how to set healthy boundaries (big one!), and what I want to do in the world. I could do all this without pretending to know that I’d figured anything out.
And to my surprise (and utter relief), my world didn’t crumble or go up in a ball of shame-fuelled flames. Instead, I received compassion, love, and even gratitude from friends and family. I even received a few “me too” messages that further confirmed that I am not alone in this.
I stopped portraying my life out to be some dream life in the sun, and I shared the darker aspects too. Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all doom and gloom or some sob story slapped all over social media. I just stopped saying I was good when I wasn’t, and I asked for help when I needed it.
I also stopped pretending to be the happy-go-lucky, carefree hippy that I thought everyone expected me to be, and tried to be as authentic as I could possibly be.
I took great courage from those who have gone before me and I took further refuge on the knowledge that we are standing on the shoulders of giants.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson
How to make vulnerability sexy
There are a few rare beings that take the scariness out of vulnerability and somehow make it seem more appealing, even sexy.
Brene Brown, Charles Eisenstein, Esther Perel, and Zach Bush are a few of those special beings that I love and admire.
Their messages are so powerful because they are willing to be vulnerable. They’re even willing to be wrong. That’s what makes them human.
“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s about having the courage to show up when you don’t know the outcome.” — Brene Brown
None of them say, “I am the way, follow me.” Instead, they suggest, “Let’s go find a way together.” And I love that.
They’re brave to share honest, vulnerable stories from their own lives to create a form of connection, and it works. This turns them from great teachers into fantastic guides and mentors and from holders of knowledge into sources of wisdom.
Liz Murphy also dared to leave herself wide open after sharing extremely personal details about her personal life in Is it possible to write yourself thin?
Her courage gave me courage, just as much as Brene Brown, Ester Peril, Charles Eisenstein, and Zach Bush have done over the years.
It’s even more remarkable that I get to call Liz Murphy my mum.
“It’s much easier to say “I don’t give a damn” than it is to say “I’m hurt” — Brene Brown
Vulnerability doesn’t have to be a sad affair though. It can often be the complete opposite, in fact. Joy and bliss are other forms of vulnerability that are often hard to express in their magnificent glory.
“Courage is contagious” — Brene Brown
A person who’s willing to keep their heart open when they’re feeling vulnerable is as remarkable as someone who’s willing to laugh uncontrollably without any inhibition.
Both are on par with the courage it takes to go after a dream, feel worthy of love, take personal space when it’s needed, nourish the body, be in loving relationships, live with an open heart, speak personal truth, smile at the person in the mirror, and think kind thoughts about oneself.
The alternative of sacrificing love to live a life without pain just doesn’t bear thinking about.
If nothing else, always remember this: Open hearts invite other hearts to open. Closed hearts do the opposite.
Closing thoughts
We are the average of the people we spend the most time with.
I’m lucky that one of my five is my mum. My lover is another.
Who are your five?
They don’t even have to be physical people either. They can be online teachers, guides, motivational speakers, animals, authors, spirit guides, deities, ancestors, or even trees and plants.
Whoever they happen to be if they can help us to be authentic, free, vulnerable, and liberated a joyful life awaits.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” — Hunter S. Thompson
You’ll fall down for sure but when you do they’ll be wonderful people that will be holding out a loving hand ready to dust you down and lift you back up.
Then, if you can share all of your lived experiences along the way — the good, the bad, the glorious, and the ugly— you’ll make more money than you ever imagined possible. You’ll also build a community of loving, like-minded people that will stay with you until the end.