The Path of Self-Love & Empathy

Once You Discover It, You Will Start Winning

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.”

In recent years, the concept of self-love has been debated. Still, I have often noticed people who have misunderstood this love, turning it into a superficial belief that feeds the Ego.

The First Step — Forgiveness

The most liberating and healing thing we can ever do is to forgive genuinely. Why? Because a life lived in complete forgiveness is a full life. Forgiveness is closely linked to love, but there is something that blocks the two feelings.

Forgiveness does not happen overnight because, in reality, it represents a process composed of several steps. And in this process, self-love is at the root of forgiveness.

Forgiveness must be exercised, even if it seems complicated at first. Only forgiveness is a remedy that can heal our minds and souls. But it must be total, in the depths of the soul. And in the depths of the soul, the purest feeling we have is love.

Forgiveness involves giving up the resentment you consider legitimate, the game of accusations, and the pride of knowing that you are right. It consists in being willing to give up the victim status, tame your attitude, and open your heart. That is the moment when grace appears, which sustains and gives power to the words “I forgive you.”

This is the beginning of the healing process. We often make the mistake of believing that we forgive someone else for their sake. In reality, when we forgive, we free ourselves from the story we have clung to for a long time and from the consciousness associated with it. That is why, in the end, we are the ones who feel liberated.

The Second Step — Understanding Your Ego

The Ego is your false self. It grows up when you criticize, when you compare to others, when you fill yourself with guilt or when you blame someone else.

The one who makes you feel unhappy and unfulfilled is your Ego. He projects his sad thoughts and feelings on the Universe and everyone around you. When you make choices on the level of your Ego, you connect with “your earthly mind,” not the “mind of your Spirit,” which is your true essence.

And yet this Ego is not such a great evil as it seems. We need it because it is the bridge between the true spiritual self and the earthly self. It is necessary to have an ego to function in this terrestrial plane.

The Desire of Being Right

I have noticed the “passion” that some people desire to be right and how unnecessary conflicts escalate for little reasons. It takes a lot of time and energy to prove that we are correct and that others are wrong.

It is wrongly considered a duty to show others that principles, attitudes, statements, and views are incorrect.

In addition to the desire to assert, we think that the person we are correcting will appreciate our help and will learn from these things.

Just think about it. Remember the last time someone corrected you… Did you say, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for proving me wrong, and you’re right!”? No, you didn’t say that. Nobody says that.

Did someone thank you when you corrected him?

Why Do We All Hate Being Corrected?

We all want our opinions to be understood and accepted by others. We want to be heard and listened without being judged.

The people who know how to listen are the most loved and respected. People who have the habit of always correcting others are avoided and disapproved.

There are times when you need or want to be right, such as in a racist discussion or before immoral acts (abuse, murder, aggression, etc.). These are the moments when you feel it is essential to say what you think and win arguments.

But there are moments when you should not get carried away. For example, when it comes to people’s tastes in some things, the desire to contradict is only the result of the Ego.

Men Are Subjective Rather Than Objective

For example, men and women can travel to the same country and have different opinions regarding their experience. She may be impressed while he might not like it at all.

The same goes for books. She may not understand it, but he might feel moved by it.

Maybe he’s not afraid of the dark as she is. Perhaps coffee with milk and sugar is horrible for him and delicious for her. Or maybe she loves meat, and he’s vegan.

The examples can go on and on, but now I ask you:

Is someone right and someone wrong in the above examples?

How Do You Recognize Ego, and How Do You Stop It?

Ego is the oppressive feeling that wakes up when you don’t like what other people are saying.

Outrage, anger, rage, accusation, and pride: When these feelings appear, if we give them the necessary food and grow, we remain stuck with them.

Instead, if we listen to them and become aware of the old wounds they come from, we can allow ourselves to move to the level of the soul. This will enable us to feel the liberty to forgive genuinely.

Thus, the Ego becomes the bridge to the soul. It helps us be aware of our wounds from childhood. That’s also the moment we start to heal them.

How Pain Blocks Self-Love

The blockage comes from wounds, most often deep wounds from childhood.

We felt betrayed, humiliated, and suffocated by the wickedness that people had inflicted on us. We thought we were completely innocent, and the things that happened were unfair. And they still feel unfair! That’s how it feels.

But we can no longer change the facts. We can no longer get dragged down in that “why me?” continuously. Let’s change the questions. Instead of “Why?”, ask yourself:

What did I feel then? — pain What do I feel now? — pain How does this pain help me?

Let’s try to answer this last question. ”How does this pain help me?”

This pain is still alive and has kept us stuck for too many years, but at the same time, we claim that all we want is to be happy.

If we want to be truly happy, we need to allow the Ego to be just the bridge between mind and soul. It is impossible to shut down the Ego, and it is useless to deny it.

So, let’s not stand in the middle of the bridge stuck in unnecessary details. Let’s stop looking at a past that only keeps us stuck nowhere… How could we live the life we ​​dream of?

Aren’t you tired of this situation? I’m tired of it too! So I started looking for a solution to release myself. And the answer is self-love!

Love and Forgiveness Are Linked Together

As long as you allow your Ego to keep you stuck in those negative thoughts that you continually grow through anger, accusation, and pride, you will feel that you do not deserve to be loved.

The most important goal we can achieve in this physical dimension is to love ourselves unconditionally. You are the only person who can love himself the way you are, especially since you are the only one who knows all your secrets, flaws, and weaknesses.

Self-love does not mean becoming selfish with those around you and caring only for your good. Nor does it mean giving yourself entirely to others.

What Does Self-Love Mean?

The answer can be found in the most famous quote about love. Corinthians 13:

The Third Step: To Tolerate, to Love, and to Accept

We must not only tolerate the differences between us but to accept that we are different.

The principle of understanding that we are different is fundamental and can change your life for the better. By becoming more loved and liked, you will avoid wasting your time and energy with unnecessary quarrels.

By understanding the differences and expecting to see things differently, we will automatically become more empathetic, more compassionate. This will make our self-respect grow.

When Someone Contradicts You…

Remember that we are unique and different.

Sometimes leave the joy of being right to others without trying to correct them. Allowing the other to display his own opinions does not mean that you will break your principles, nor will you sacrifice your philosophical truths. Or, in other cases, such as the online environment, do not intervene in discussions.

The others will not thank you and will not appreciate your attempt to make justice. The battle of egos will not lead to peace, so get out of the vicious circle of futile contradictions and enjoy life. All the best!

Bottom line:

• forgiveness — being able to forgive provides you with a better mindset
• understanding your ego — if you understand it, you can control it
• tolerate, love, and accept — these things will transform you into a different, better person.

Now, let’s re-read the quote from the beginning of the article.

“Empathy is the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspectives, and using that understanding to guide your actions.”