The Paradox of Choice: How More Options Are Making You Miserable (And How to Fix It)

Get Clear on What You Want and Commit to it

We’re spoilt for choice in today’s world.

Wanna date? Download a dating app and meet potential mates wherever you want.

Wanna watch a movie? Go on Netflix and browse their catalog

Hungry? See every restaurant in your city on a delivery app of your choice.

All these different options were supposed to make you (and I) better off as a species…

… But that’s not quite what happened.

More options have made us worse off.

They’ve made it harder to make a decision.

It causes paralysis, which results in procrastination about important decisions.

When we make a decision, we’re left questioning whether it was optimal.

I’ve struggled with this for a long time…

10 years, it kept me single (or 5 — depending on who you ask).

I’d meet someone and question whether I’ve settled.

It wasn’t until I got clear about what I wanted and committed to making it happen that I was set free from the chains of “too much choice.”

The jam experiment

Back in 2000, a study was published by two psychologists who were curious to determine whether too much choice is a good thing.

Two experiments were conducted to answer their question…

In the first experiment, 24 different types of jam were available to test and purchase at a discounted rate.

In the second experiment, only 6 different types of jam were available to freely test and purchase at a discount.

The first experiment attracted 60% of shoppers, of whom 3% purchased jam.

In contrast, the second experiment attracted 40% of shoppers, and 30% bought jam.

Even though more shoppers were attracted to the stand with a greater variety of jams, 10x more people made a purchase when they had fewer options to choose from.

This is known as the paradox of choice.

The paradox of choice is when an abundance of options makes individuals unsure of themselves as they grapple with the burden of distinguishing the differences between a good and bad choice.

It occurs because a large selection of options often has a net positive effect on one's subjective state until a certain threshold is exceeded.

Once the threshold is exceeded, individuals often suffer from inner paralysis and decision fatigue.

This phenomenon can also be found in modern-day dating…

In the past, people would typically date and marry people they met locally.

This doesn’t happen anymore.

The rise of social media and dating apps has given people a broader range of options to select from when choosing a mate.

Many are under the illusion that this larger variety simplifies the decision-making process, but it doesn't…

The widespread adoption of advanced technology and the internet has accelerated choice overload.

It’s now much easier to compare things against a wider variety of options, but many aren’t aware that this is making them miserable.

More doesn’t mean better

More options are killing your happiness.

When faced with many options, weighing the pros and cons of each and determining which one is best becomes increasingly difficult.

This makes it harder to be satisfied with your final decision.

The more options there are, the more likely you’ll feel regret when you choose.

Many often refrain from making a decision altogether to prevent this feeling of regret.

Take me as an example…

I’ve been single for 10 years (or 5), and it’s not cos I struggle with women.

My problem was that I’d meet a woman I was initially interested in, and as things advanced, I’d constantly ask myself, “What if?”

“What if I grow and I no longer like her? (or vice versa)”

“What if there’s someone who’s more my type out there, and I’m settling?”

“What if there’s better?”

I’d continue dating other women (Yes, I’d make it known) to find answers to my questions.

This often leaves me with a large pool of options to select from.

Slowly but surely, I began to notice the attractive features of the alternatives diminished my satisfaction with the original person I was interested in.

To avoid dissatisfaction, I’d wind up picking none.

When you have several options, the opportunity costs of the other options subtract from your overall satisfaction — regardless of whether you make a good decision or not.

Having too many options often leads people into a state of paralysis, where they don’t decide or give up on the endeavor entirely (e.g., me with dating).

Another factor at play here is loss aversion.

We’ve evolved with a cognitive bias that inflates the pain of losing something twice more than that of gaining.

Making a decision simultaneously cuts off other options.

This effectively means you’ve lost out, which is more painful than what you’ve gained in making a decision.

Many refrain from deciding to avoid feeling this pain.

As a result, they stall in that department of life.

For those who do make a decision, they never feel fully satisfied.

The cure for choice overload

Wanna know what Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Barack Obama have in common?

They’ve all committed to wearing the same outfit daily to preserve their brainpower.

Fewer choices mean more optimal decisions.

This doesn’t mean you must throw away all your outfits and commit to wearing the same thing daily…

… But it does mean you must decide what you want and commit to it.

Most people suffer from choice overload cos they never get clear about what they want.

Since they lack clarity on what they’re looking for, they struggle to commit to decisions — and when they do commit, they feel dissatisfied.

Does this mean you should eradicate all choices?

Absolutely not!

Remember the jam experiment…

When you’re faced with fewer choices, it’s easier for you to weigh the pros and cons of each option and make an optimal decision.

But before you even begin to collect options…

You must get clear on what you want in the first place!

For example, before you turn on Netflix for a movie night, you must clearly know what type of film you want to watch (e.g., classic stand-up comedy, British crime drama series, Marvel movie, etc.).

Many often hit me with the same line whenever I tell them this advice: “What if you don’t know what you want?”

If you’re struggling to decide what you want, start with what you don’t want.

Sahil Bloom’s newsletter on anti-goals discusses a similar concept to this idea.

The notion is simple…

Write down all the features you can think of and tick off everything you don’t want.

What remains is what you want.

Use this list to filter all the available options. You’ll notice it would cut most things out.

When you’re left with just a few options, feel them all out to see what resonates most — you can also write down the pros and cons of each one.

After you’ve got a feel of them all, decide and commit.

Final thoughts

More options don’t make you better off.

In fact, it often leads to paralysis or significantly decreases the overall satisfaction of your decisions.

TLDR: It’s ruining you.

This doesn’t mean you need to rid yourself of all options…

… But it does mean you must get clear on what you want.

Clearly defining what you want allows you to filter options through that lens.

This will leave you with fewer choices to analyze and see what’s best for you.

When you identify what you like most, commit.

Following this process will make you feel far more satisfied with your decisions and allow you to make progress.

Thanks for reading!

I created a free eBook to show you:

• What goals are
• How to set goals effectively
• How to build a system to realize those goals.

Get it HERE!