The Overlooked But Powerful Gift That Nobody Wants — Charisma

The 8 best tips for a strong and positive charisma that attracts others and makes life easier

Do you sometimes dream of being more charismatic? When you talk, everyone listens to you. Your colleagues appreciate you and enjoy working with you. You have no problem asking for dates. And on your dates, the other person is hanging on your lips!

So you want to become more charismatic? No problem! But you should already know that charisma means much more listening than talking. And it is not about being Everbody’s Darling. But more about that later!

Four Characteristics Of Charisma

What exactly is charisma? Originally, charisma meant being blessed by the grace of God. Today it is rather associated with a winning grin. And the men in razor blade advertising are brimming with charisma!

However, this is a very one-sided form of charisma, which can quickly slide into narcissism and arrogance. And your charisma is not dependent on an attractive appearance! We also find people charismatic who would rather not fit into a razor blade advertisement, like Bill Gates or Michelle Obama. To understand charisma better, let’s first look at four signs of charisma.

1. They Are Authentic

Charismatic people are completely themselves. With all their quirks and strange habits. They also don’t have to adorn themselves with brand-name clothes or expensive accessories. Anyway, Michelle Obama’s best accessory is her radiant smile.

Moreover, these people know exactly what their values are. They distinguish between right and wrong and stand up for their opinions. They represent a certain world view, which they share with conviction.

2. They Have A Strong Self-Confidence

Charismatic people also know that there is nothing wrong with them. They accept themselves as they are. That is why they can share their opinion with serenity and best conscience, without wanting to impose it on anyone.

They have nothing to lose. Because even if someone disagrees with them or even insults them, their self-confidence is so strong that they never feel personally attacked by destructive criticism.

3. They Are “Contagious”

Charismatic people, therefore, have a certain set of values which they confidently show to the world. This honest attitude is “contagious”. They manage to convince other people of their values.

Also in conversation, they manage to transfer their feelings to their counterpart. When they talk about something with enthusiasm, they spray with enthusiasm. Their good mood, their motivation also grabs you!

4. They Give Other People A Good Feeling

Charismatic people are good at listening. Although we often have the image in our heads of the impressive speaker or the cool visionary, charisma also has to do with presence and respect.

In conversation, charismatic people listen carefully. This enables them to have conversations that reach their counterpart. It is all about respect and eye level. In this way, they give other people a good feeling of being seen and appreciated.

Charisma Is A State — Not A Characteristic

Luckily you can do it like Bill Gates and Michelle Obama! Because these two heroes were not born with charisma either. A positive charisma is not a personality trait, but a state of mind. Or better said, a by-product of your communication behavior.

The even better news: You are already charismatic! At least in some situations. Remember a situation in which you felt really good. Maybe you were able to convince someone of an idea? Or you got very good feedback for a presentation or an interview? Or maybe you flirted confidently and turned someone’s head?

Probably you don’t remember exactly what you said or did at that time. Or you think it was just a lucky day. But with the following eight tips you will be able to convey a positive aura more and more in the future.

8 Tips For More Charisma

1. Self-Confident Posture

Amy Cuddy reveals the secret of charisma in her world-famous TedTalk: It’s all a question of self-confident posture. The big trick: You don’t need self-confidence for a self-confident posture. On the contrary: You can fake your self-confidence — and thereby actually gain self-confidence.

This trick sounds complicated, but it is very simple. Stand upright, stretch your head to the sky, chin to chest, chest out, shoulders back. If you want to push yourself, you can also take the superhero pose: Stand with your legs apart and put your hands on your hips. This simple trick gives you instant charisma.

2. Dress Up

Even if it seems superficial: clothes make people. It’s not about wearing branded clothes or being particularly stylish. After all, Bill Gates is not exactly admirable for his impressive wardrobe.

Dress well and you feel good. This trick is as simple as it is effective. In which clothes do you feel self-confident? It can also be a normal pair of jeans that just fit well and have a soothing shade of blue. Or it could be rouge that highlights your cheekbones and makes you look more alert.

3. Listen And Support

Are you dreaming of telling a charismatic anecdote and everyone is hanging on your lips? Charisma has as much to do with listening as it does with talking. Maybe listening is even more important! Because when you listen to other people, you give them the feeling that you are important and that you are being heard in the truest sense of the word.

You can also go one step further and actively support your fellow human beings in their wishes and dreams. Listen carefully, ask interesting questions, and support your counterpart in his intention. Maybe you can even actively support your fellow human beings in their plans by offering them your help.

If you want to become more charismatic, don’t focus only on yourself. True greatness also means to put yourself in the background and let other people come first.

Tip 4: Leave Your Cell Phone In Your Pocket

A simple trick to be able to listen better: Leave your cell phone in your pocket. Radiance also has a lot to do with presence. That means you need your full attention for the moment. Whoever is talking to you or is in a room with you will perceive you much more when you are present.

So leave your cell phone in your pocket and set it to silent to give your full presence and attention to your fellow human beings. This gift also shows your appreciation for other people.

5. Be Authentic And Inspire

Surely you know this look on other people’s faces when they talk about something that excites them. At this moment you are seized by their enthusiasm and let yourself be infected by their enthusiasm. Maybe even the energy jumps over to you and you feel more motivated and fulfilled after the conversation. You can also give this feeling to other people.

Ask yourself: What is close to your heart? What could you talk about for hours with full enthusiasm? Which topics make your eyes light up?

You mustn’t do fake enthusiasm for any topic just to satisfy your counterpart. Others can see through your fake enthusiasm. Therefore be authentic. Talk about things that are important to you. It doesn’t matter if these topics are “cool” or not. If railroads are important to you, then talk about railroads!

6. Share Your Vision And Goals

In the next step, you can reveal even more about yourself than just your hobbies. Talk about the really big things, your visions, and goals! To open up like this requires a lot of courage. This vulnerability in turn makes you charismatic.

Are you secretly dreaming of clearing the oceans of plastic waste? Or does the unjust distribution of wealth sometimes cause you physical pain? Or do you simply want to spend a quiet life in a small village?

7. Work On Your Self-Esteem

If you feel charismatic, you are at peace with yourself. You know: I am a good, interesting, caring, attractive … person. Unfortunately, you probably don’t always feel so good and charismatic.

To feel charismatic more often, it is best to work on your self-esteem. Because if you sometimes find it difficult to be charismatic, you may not believe that you are charismatic.

Deep down, you may suffer from low self-esteem. You do not believe that you are interesting or attractive. But only if you can convince yourself of your good qualities, you will be able to convince others of you.

8. Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are an effective strategy to strengthen your low self-esteem and become more charismatic. Affirmations work like the genie in the bottle: You only have to wish for something often enough and it will come true. Here are a few examples of affirmations to become more charismatic. With these affirmations you will get rid of the negative beliefs in your subconscious:

• “I am an interesting person.
• “I am good at listening.
• “My posture is upright and confident.”
• “My eyes light up when I talk.”

Closing words: Becoming Charismatic Takes Time

Charisma is based on healthy self-confidence. And it takes time to build a healthy self-confidence. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t feel a great charisma in every conversation.

Charisma also depends on the situation. Maybe you will feel intimidated in a conversation with your supervisor. But in return, you tell a hilarious anecdote in the cafeteria! Some days you will feel great and others not. That’s okay.

But the more you implement the 8 tips for more charisma, the more often you will succeed in radiating charisma. It is all a question of practice!

Use your potential!