The (Other) Masks We Wear
“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”– André Berthiaume
Last week we shone a torch into the Resistance Dragon’s lair and discovered that the firebreather’s brawn is fueled by our silent fears. The enemy does not live outside of our minds, nor do we need a valiant knight to rescue us. We are the both the heroes and the villains of our own story.
We now understand the many forms that resistance can take: distraction, busy work, perfect timing, and self-doubt. Armed with this knowledge, resistance should be easy to kill. But as any entrepreneur, artist, or inventor can attest, resistance can be held at bay; but it is always ready to wage war with our potential.
These toxic forces are enabled by the masks we wear. Masks hide our shadow selves — providing cover for the excuses we make and the action we do not take.
Armor is one family of a masks, hammered into place to protect our vulnerabilities, disguise our shortcomings, and project an image of strength and invincibility.
Emotional armor provides resiliency from life’s slings and arrows, repressing our natural expression until it’s safe to be authentic. Though armor is built to combat external threats, it handicaps our ability to look inward and create genuine connection.
If we allow the armor to merge with our flesh without reconciling its contradictions with your inner voice, a white knuckled struggle will drain our energy and siphon off opportunities. As George Orwell said, “He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.”
The tightwire act between armor and the “you” behind the metal may stifle our true potential and redirect our actions to appease its demands. We might accrue credit card debt to keep up with the joneses, or be too prideful to take classes or seek coaching because we already “know it all”.
If you have allowed armor to dominate you, be compassionate with yourself. Early in life, you learned that it was not safe to be who you really are. That if you cried out for help, you would not receive reassurance, but judgement and ridicule. Thus this mask was born, shielding you from your deepest desires — to be worthy of love and acceptance while being authentically you.
The armor you wore was an exhausting habit. It’s time to stop being comfortable with discomfort and remove your helmet.
“How do I know it’s safe to be me”? The answer lies in your courage to embrace self-love and understand that there is no separation.
This may sound foreign, as you have been conditioned to believe that the danger is “out there”. Vanquish your enemies first and then drop your sword, right?
You will discover that there are no enemies. They exist only as manifestations of the illusion of separation, as imaginary as Don Quixote’s windmills. All are aspects of you, a mirror to your inner state.
If you believe that the world is a cruel place, prepare to be disappointed and betrayed by the people you encounter. Conversely, if you wake up every morning full of optimism and gratitude, the universe will multiply your blessings, in the faces of people you meet and opportunities that come your way. All are mini mirrors to your personal lens.
Self-love is possible when we realize that we are the source of everything we see. The key is not to blame ourselves for undesired states but to embrace every aspect of our creation and transcend it. Love is love reflected.
As self-love grows and the focus is removed from the people and circumstances we think stand in the way of our happiness, you will find freedom in the self-expression of your inner world. We are the architects of own joy.
Next week we will discuss how to cultivate self-love and refocus on ourselves. Overflowing self-love will reflect in the world around us, curating abundance into our reality. Choosing ourselves first is the courageous first act in the story of our lives.