The Only Thing You Should Seek in Your 20s is Experiences

There will be ordinary moments, and extraordinary moments, and in between, you’ll grow

I turned 30 exactly one week ago. And I don’t really feel any different.

Throughout my twenties, I’ve had some incredible experiences: living in 5 different counties — Canada, Hong Kong, France, India, Ireland — backpacking across South-East Asia, living with a French family and learning French for 4 months in Toulouse, learning Spanish as I backpacked 3 months in Central America, working at Google, quitting to start my own online business, learning how to sail, spending a week in silence, traveling to 40+ countries.

Those were some brilliant experiences, but it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine.

I was also lost countless times with the question “I don’t know what do with my life” running circles in my mind. I was broke and in debt several times across those years. I had a bike accident that left me with a fractured spine, a torn ligament and fractured bone. I also lost important people in my life.

But that’s life. There are good times, and bad. There are ordinary moments, and extraordinary moments. And in between, we grow.

So what have I learned?

Your twenties is a decade of discovery.

This is the one thing you should seek: Experiences.

That’s it. That’s all you should focus on.

Do things, try things, stay curious, keep moving.

Why?

Because by seeking experiences, you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone — and that’s the space where personal growth happens.

Because through experiences you will learn more about yourself. Who you are, what you enjoy doing, what you like and dislike. You will learn what’s important to you in your life — what matters. What you’re good at. What your talents are and what you’re truly passionate about.

And that is the ultimate goal — to learn more about yourself, so that you are better prepared to conquer your own future.

Throughout different experiences, you develop, you grow. And it is in that growth that you begin to learn more about who you are.

“Our 20’s are the defining decade of adulthood. 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by about age 35. Personality can change more during our 20’s than at any other decade in life. The brain caps off its last major growth spurt. When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20. Even if you do nothing, not making choices is a choice all the same. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.” — Dr. Meg Jay, The Defining Decade: Why Your 20s Matter

Travel More

In your twenties, travel.

Travel expands your horizons. It provides you with an opportunity to mingle with people from all corners of the world and to question all the cultural norms you’ve been raised up to believe where the “right” ones.

“Travel” does not mean go to a 5-star all-inclusive resort sitting on the beach all day drinking margaritas. I’m talking about the real, cultural aspect of travel:

• Travel to learn a language. I lived in Toulouse for 4 months with a local french family to learn French. They barely spoke any English. I was forced to communicate in French — I had no other choice. It was not comfortable. It was difficult, but that’s the point. Only, by practicing daily, did I manage to learn the language. And when you live with a foreign family, you begin to see the world through their eyes. Communication is what opens the world to you. In your twenties, learn languages.
• Travel to meet and learn from people. I met a local woman from a tea estate in Sri Lanka. She told me her story of how her parents are tea pluckers living on $2.98 USD per day. She had no choice but to drop out from her schooling. But she wanted to build a better future for herself and her family — so she started a business. Naveeshana taught me that I must keep trying. To not let hard times dwell me down. To get busy, get resourceful and seek solutions. Travel to meet people, and learn from them.
• Travel to realize how lucky you are — to learn to be grateful for what you have. Have you seen poverty in your own eyes? Have you walked the streets of Mumbai’s Dharavi slums? Have you volunteered at an orphanage? Or at a refugee camp? Travel makes you grow. You will witness the extreme poverty people live in. And you will realize how lucky you are in life — because there are billions of souls who have it much worse than you. You will naturally become more grateful — and gratitude has the power to change your life for the better.
• Travel to experience the beauty of the world, and to spontaneously connect with humans from abroad. I spent a month in Guatemala. I was traveling a lone, so I joined a group of people on a hike up Volcán Acatenango. We hiked 6–7 hours until we arrived at base camp. We sat atop the volcano and watched the world’s most beautiful sunset sink into the bed of white fluffly clouds. And then we spent the entire night, under a blanket of stars, around a bonfire, drinking hot cacao, roasting marshmallows, witnessing Volcán Fuego (an active volcano facing us) erupt with lava every twenty minutes. A group of 20 strangers bonding through the most incredible of natural experiences.

These are the experience you want to seek in your twenties.

Travel to meet, connect, and learn. Travel to experience the wonders of the world. Travel to understand what it means to be alive.

Explore Your Creative Ideas

In your twenties, explore.

Everyone has an artistic calling in their own way.

I enjoy writing. My brother produces music. My sister paints. None of us are professionals, and none of us do it full-time — but that’s not the point.

The idea is simple: if you have a craving for something, if you feel it calling your way, go after it. Don’t sit and ponder — just do it.

Your twenties is a time to learn.

Some of the best ideas come from nothing, and if you never try them out, you’ll never know where they could take you.

Your twenties is a time for experimentation.

How will you know if you’re talented at public speaking if you never overcome your fear of delivering a speech? How will you know whether or not you truly enjoy the process of writing, if you never sit down to write an article?

If you have an app idea, try to build it. If you have an idea that helps fight plastic pollution, give it a go. If you’re a foodie, and you love sharing recommendations with friends, start a blog. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Start today. This will help you find out whether or not you really want it, and more so, to discover where it can take you if you do.

A lot of my friends say: “I want to build my own company.” They said that at 23. Then again, at 25. Then at 27. 28. 29… Until I realized, all they do is talk.

If you truly want something, you can start today. You can dedicate an hour a day and begin the process of creating. And if you are afraid to explore, look at it this way: you are young, full of energy, and if you do end up making a mistake, you will learn so much from it that you will be in a far better position to succeed in your second attempt.

Your twenties is a time to work on eradicating the habit of “talking” and replacing it with the habit of “doing”. If you say you want to be an entrepreneur, what are you waiting for? There is no “perfect time” to start. Begin the process of being one today, because it’s only through the process of becoming that you might realize, “hey, this isn’t for me.”

The goals is to keep moving and exploring your creative ideas, because that’s the only way you will learn and grow.

“Inaction breeds fear and doubt. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. “ — Dale Carnegie

Spend Time With Yourself

In your twenties, tune in.

Build the habit of giving yourself the time you need for yourself. Tune in. Journal daily. Reflect frequently.

Your twenties is the time to nurture your self-love. And you can only do so, if you dedicate the time to discover who you are.

Understand that it will take time, that you will learn through experiences and that it will not always be rainbows and sunshine.

And in the process of doing so, do your best to radiate the positive energy of self-love, a mindset of abundance, and the realization things are happening for you, not against you.

Ask Yourself This Question

“What experience do I want to have in my twenties?”

List them out on a sheet of paper. You don’t need to know how you’re going to achieve those experiences. You just need to know what you want to experience — where you want to go. And that’s a starting point: intentional living rather than passive living.

Experiences push you out of your comfort zone. They make you grow and provide you with an opportunity to learn more about yourself — who you are now and who you might want to be next.

“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.” ― Randy Pausch

Make it a priority to experiment with experiences in your twenties. It’s the best way to better understand what you love and what matters to you in life.