The Only Rule You Need to Become The Colleague Everyone Wants to Work With

Don’t be that person everyone avoids like the plague.

We’ve all been there — standing in the schoolyard as kids are picked one-by-one to join a team for a friendly match of who-knows-what that surely consists of a ball and some physical activity.

First goes the kid that has the physical capabilities of an A-grade sports player.

Next up are those kids that might not be the next Cristiano Ronaldo but still has some oomph in them. And then follows a string of kids in the order of who is less likely to become dead weight.

And then you’re left with two.

As someone who is one of the last to get picked, let me tell you one thing — it’s a gut-wrenching feeling.

The workplace is like a schoolyard where colleagues are picked to form a short-lived team to accomplish a unified goal for a set period of time. Whilst my experience is in the field of building technical products where these teams tend to consist of product managers, designers and software engineers — the same can also be said in many industries — a team of sales men and women to pitch to a major client, construction workers to build a new project; you get the point.

Unlike my schoolyard days, I no longer have that dreaded feeling when teams are assembled. Dare I say, I am now considered the workplace equivalent to that A-grades sports player, all because of one rule:

I don’t let my ideas become my identity

It takes courage to share your thoughts and ideas and take on criticism with open arms without batting an eyelid. But if you can do it — you’ll be paid back in spades. Colleagues will be lining up to work with you, word will go out and companies will come knocking on your door to hire you.

Let me tell you why.

You Are More Likely to Have a Good Idea

If you’re too scared to speak up at the risk of being criticized, you aren’t putting forward any great ideas. Some ideas will fail and some will be seen as a holy grail, but those holy grails won’t be discovered unless you share them.

A great teammate is one that can put forth ideas to improve products, processes and approaches — ultimately making everyone’s life easier.

You Are Open to Collaboration

No-one wants to work with that person that won’t let an idea go just because they were the one that came up with it.

Logic and reason has no use on someone who has fallen so deeply in love with their own ideas.

Worst yet is the selfishness of it all —they end up holding up the team due to their fear of being wrong. If you’ve worked with someone like that, my bet is that you wouldn’t want to work with them again.

You Are Curious

A curious person is always growing, and that growth is infectious in a team setting.

If you are always asking questions, your teammates will be forced to do so too. Along the way you will uncover realities that may not have been found if curiosity did not lead the way.

The best leaders know that a curious mind is a formidable asset. Once you gain that reputation, leaders will be fighting tooth and nail to have you on their team.

You Don’t Have an Ego

Once you’ve mastered the art of setting yourself apart from your ideas, chances are you’ve tamed that ugly monster we all have called our ego.

People high on their own Kool-Aid are never in the wrong. Instead, they will resort to an endless list of excuses before they admit fault.

Growth is stifled in a team whenever an egoistic colleague is among the ranks.

If you want to be in a team that not only succeeds but also grows, then it’s best to stay away from colleagues with massive egos. This is because true and painfully honest reflection never occurs — and without reflecting on yourself and the team, growth can never be achieved.

You Offer Feedback Lightly

If a person considers their ideas as a representation of their work and capabilities, best believe they are drawing the same conclusion for other people too.

They are quick to conclude that a person with terrible ideas must be terrible at their job and respond to those ideas accordingly.

If you’re one of these people, let’s squash that notion right here and now and let me offer an alternative — ask questions first.

Feedback that was not preluded with a string of questions can often be misguided. Best to avoid that situation entirely and first ask the person how they came to an idea or thought. There’s a chance they will raise a point you might have otherwise overlooked. But at the very least, you let them feel heard; making your eventual feedback a little less heavy-handed.

You Are More Approachable

If you are known as someone that is open-minded, collaborative, and gentle in their feedback, people will flock to you with their own ideas.

There’s no better way to having a positive contribution to your company’s culture than being that one person your colleagues can turn to. Once you become a safe-space for people to share their thoughts and ideas with, doors to a manager or leadership role start to open up. From there, it’s just a small leap from hearing people out to motivating them into action — something the greatest leaders can do with ease.

Final Thoughts

The truth is, there was a reason why I was one of the last to be picked in the schoolyard — I hated sports, and it showed. If positive feedback about your ability to work in a team come few and far between, there must be a reason why. My suggestion to everyone working in a team is this — don’t attach yourself to the ideas you put forward. Once you’ve mastered that, a long list of incredible traits that make you a great teammate will follow.