The One Thing We Should All Do at Least Once in Life

My relationship with myself has greatly improved because of it.

Growing up, I always cringed at the thought of expressing my emotions, no matter who it was to. If I couldn’t even talk about my feelings with my friends (which obviously isn’t a great thing) then I definitely wasn’t willing to do so with a therapist.

Then came a point when so many negative emotions were residing in me, and I was going through a lot of difficult moments. At a time like this, you sometimes realise that you need someone who is equipped to walk you through the things affecting you, and guide you through how you can handle them.

That’s why I finally decided to try my hand at therapy.

Over the past six years, I’ve had therapy on and off, but last year I stuck with it for the longest period of time (6 months, which understandably may not be a lot to some). My therapist was great and provided me with some invaluable insights and different perspectives on things in my reality. I will be returning back to therapy soon, because I find it to be such a useful tool, and I believe everybody else should as well.

Everybody can benefit from it

Therapy is something that applies to everybody — it is something that everybody in this world should hopefully be able to seek out and undergo at some point, or various points in their life.

There is not one person that is exempt from needing therapy, because not a single soul in this world is perfect. And that forms the beauty of the world.

If there is a person who is the literal embodiment of perfection:

Having had a perfect upbringing; perfect guardians; was the best student in school; has been the best friend three hundred and sixty-five days a year — twenty-four hours a day; has been the best girlfriend or boyfriend three hundred and sixty-five days a year — twenty-four hours a day; has never done a single thing wrong in their life; has never made a bad decision at any point in their life; has never inflicted pain upon anybody intentionally or unintentionally; has never told a single lie; let somebody down; let themselves down…

The list could go on forever. If that person does exist, then I am wrong.

But I think we can all agree that nobody fits that description, and everybody has something that they need to go to therapy for. We all have something, some part of our lives or ourselves, that might not be where we want it to be just yet. This could date back to problems caused by childhood, unfavourable personality traits that affect relationships, feeling unsatisfied with life and so much more. There is at least one thing within all of us that is not broken, but could lead to more happiness if we spend just a little time working on it.

They know what they are talking about

It is all well and good utilising Google to do do thorough research that can aid in discovering things to help you work on yourself, or having lengthy discussions with friends or family that activate that light bulb moment in your head.

However, nobody can really dig into you and what exactly it is that is holding you back in life, and what exactly you need to do (because you are the only one who can do the work on you) better than a professionally trained practitioner who knows what they are talking about.

Of course, there are some people who are completely against the idea of seeing a therapist, for many different reasons. These range from finding it weird to be relaying such personal and intense information about your life to a stranger, to believing that you won’t get anywhere from just sitting and talking about your problems.

As valid as these excuses seem, it is important to remember that therapists are not just random strangers on the street who will hear your problems and then continue to go about with their day.

They are passionate in the field they are in. They will therefore try everything in their power to provide solutions for you to get through or overcome some of your problems, as impossible as they may seem.

Some things may feel pointless to talk about because it may seem as if no solution will be provided. However, the job of therapists is to dig into issues, understand why they occurred, and recognise how you are coping with them. They will subsequently use the necessary information they have gained about you as a person in relation to your problem(s) and use that to explore different solutions with you. They do not exist to just listen whilst having no consideration for the next step for you.

Not every therapist will be for you

Naturally, some people may not connect well with their therapist, and so might end up seeing it as a waste of time.

Some examples of not connecting well are: not taking to some of the words the therapist uses; feeling as if their tone is condescending; or noticing that they are not understanding what you are saying or making you feel at ease.

These things do happen, and whilst it is a shame, it is not unusual as there are a large number of therapists out there, and none of them are the same. They will each have their own personal attitude, tone, and personality. An individual may not click with one therapist but may feel at ease with another, and it is important to not paint therapy with a bad brush simply because of one negative experience.

I do want to note that finding a therapist most suitable for you can also be linked to certain parts of your identity. For minorities especially, some of the things we go through can shape who we are, what we think and the way we act. These are things that may come up in therapy, and can only realistically be understood by people just like us.

I personally sought out a therapist who looked like me, and would recognise and relate to some of the life experiences I expressed in my sessions. I had a few free consultations with different options, which is also a great step to take. I was able to determine who I connected with the most and made a careful decision.

It completely added to the value of my time in therapy because I knew that if it was somebody completely different to me, they wouldn’t know where to begin in helping me through some things.

The truth is, there will be the right therapist out there for you. When you find them, you will know, and you will be glad you didn’t give up.

The same notion can be applied to anything in life — work, relationships, friendships — there will always be the right one for you that you will feel comfort in the midst of.

Keep going until you see changes

A lot of people typically have an end goal when seeing a therapist.

What is it that you would like to work on? What changes would you like to have been made within a month’s time? Two months? Three months?

I believe it is crucial to not give up on therapy until you can see certain changes are actively being made, because then you know you are on the journey of your life improving for the better.

Understandably, many will still have their reservations about therapy, some groups of people more than others. But the purpose of life is to enjoy it to the fullest. So it is your responsibility to do what is possible for this to be your reality. You can have everything else in place like your career and your finances, but what good is it if you haven’t done the work that needs to be done on you?

There are free options

Money may also definitely play a role in people not turning to therapy, but having to pay is not the only option. Yes, there are private therapists with sessions that probably last longer, maybe even up to years.

But if finances are a worry, then a good start would be to turn to a free therapy service such as the one run by the NHS if you are in the UK.

Important disclaimer: there may unfortunately be a waiting list.

Overall, you have the option to go for free as well as the option to pay, you just have to pick what is right for you and be aware of your end goal every step of the way. You might even realise that seeing a therapist is something you want consistently in your life, and if that is your decision, it’s great to stick with it.

At the end of the day, it is important that as individuals we are constantly striving to make our lives the best they can be because we only have one of them.

One of the most efficient ways to do this is to see a therapist and work on the things that are preventing your life from reaching its full potential.