The One Reason Scandinavians and Happiness Go Well Together

We don’t try

We don’t try.

There you have it.

I went to Barnes & Noble the other day. As I was walking down the aisle marked “self-improvement”, a thought popped into my mind.

“They try so hard to be happy.”

Self-improvement and happiness has become some marketing gig that often doesn’t look real. Authors, more often than not, look overly photoshopped, sometimes with an excessive amount of makeup and a bleached smile. There’s nothing real about it.

It shines through that they’re trying too hard.

Life isn’t always great

Life isn’t always great, and that’s normal. That’s how it should be.

Picture-perfect 100% of the time would be odd.

One of my favorite authors is a Danish professor named Svend Brinkmann. A quote from one of his books, Stand Firm, has stuck with me:

“Better to face reality than ‘live in a fool’s paradise’, as my gran would say.”

That’s the kind of self-improvement that works for me. The kind where you face reality, no matter that it looks like. The reality for most of us is that we have some pretty terrible days now and then.

Good ones, too, of course, but not always.

Rather than trying to fix your inner self on those bad days, just do what you can. Why overanalyze? Most of us have some duties or responsibilities we don’t always can’t get past. Work, school, paying bills, cooking.

Do how little or how much you can, and acknowledge that your life is not perfect, always. It doesn’t have to be.

Sometimes, you don’t have to stress about improving.

Without being real to ourselves, I don’t think we can improve much.

Scandinavians can’t stand when things aren’t real and we’re not going to smile unless we mean it. We despise fakeness.

Long-term solutions

Grant Hilary Brenner, MD, FAPA, talks about how self-help actually can fail if we do not approach change in the correct way for our current circumstances and underlying personality, saying:

“Many times, we’re simply not ready to get the help we want, and we just don’t know it. … Sometimes, a degree of self-persecution gets in the way, and that is a downward spiral.”

Brenner brings up the importance of skipping all the quick fixes and trendy self-help models, instead focusing on sustainable, long-term solutions.

How you choose to self-improve has to work for you, not just the popular author of a bestseller. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all in self-improvement.

Scandinavians are generally more skeptical of the buzzy here today, gone tomorrow trends. This goes for diets as well as for all things related to self-improvement. We don’t just buy it because it’s told to be good.

Common sense in self-improvement is valued much more than a bestseller.

Feeling down? Take a walk. Meet up with a friend. Limit the things that aren’t good for you, health-wise. Not feeling better and it’s been a while since you’ve smiled? Reach out to a professional (therapist, not author).

One day at a time.

Why we’re skeptical

Aside from the fact that it often feels fake — contentment is a core value of ours. Contentment makes up happy, not constant self-improvement.

Berkely Well-Being Institute talks about contentment as the calm joy or quiet pleasure we feel when our needs are satisfied and we are in harmony with ourselves and our surroundings.

When you’re always looking to improve, it may be a bit hard to stay content (and see others besides yourself). You’re looking to better yourself, climbing a personal improvement ladder. I don’t know if there’s a top on that ladder and I’d be exhausted, constantly climbing.

Also, mainstream self-improvement content often comes from the United States (about 15,000 books each year). Should we believe global reports on happiness, the United States isn’t doing the greatest.

That spot is normally held by one of the Nordic countries.

We’re not trying to, we’re simply living one day at the time, content with our lives. Maybe that is the best version of self-improvement there is.