This One Question I Ask Myself When I’m Stuck In A Toxic Environment, Is Also The Solution

It solves everything.

A week ago, I found myself in a crowd that didn’t quite align with my goals.

Wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last either.

Toxic workplaces, relationships, and friendships — we’ve all been there.

But what’s the difference between the 90% who stay stuck in those loops vs the 1% who break free?

It’s a simple question.

The 1% ask themselves — “What about me has attracted this situation into my life in the first place?”.

That’s the question and the answer both.

Toxic workplace

In 2021, I was working in an amazing company that valued its employees. The pay was OK. But the pandemic changed things so for revenue, the company started bringing more projects from big tech giants. Soon, I found myself working for toxic tech giants as a consultant, but making less than what their full-time counterpart was making.

So I switched. In 2022, I joined a new company and my salary doubled. Now I was part of the “elite” silicon valley companies that pay loads, but treat their employees like sh*t.

I was rich, but I hated the company culture. I liked the money though.

Then I tried to switch to a different one with similar salaries. It turned out to be yet another toxic place right from the interviews itself.

No matter where I looked, toxicity kept following me like a shadow.

That’s when it hit me. That as long as I’m chasing money, this is the work environment I will get.

So what about me is attracting workplaces where it’s dog eats dog?

It’s the fact that I’m prioritizing high pay over everything. Guess who else is doing that? The employees playing toxic politics at these giant companies. Guess what’s making them do that? The high pay.

So… what else would I attract if not them?

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but you and the environment that you so hate, have a lot more in common than you want to acknowledge.

When I switched my mindset to prioritize self-respect, autonomy and passion for work over the money, I found myself quitting the workforce without a second thought. My environment started shifting as per my values and priorities.

Now how much do I make a month? I have a passive income that covers my basic needs and desires, and the money I make from Medium well….. it covers my phone bill for my USA number. Not a lot. But by my home country’s standards, I am “financially free”. Although, I prefer the word “financially cushioned” more.

That’s not the point though — that you have to follow my path. I’m sure there are lots of companies that still have good culture but I bet you, they’re not going to pay you enough to buy your dream car.

Medium is the same, isn’t it? Great crowd, not enough money.

So what is it going to be? What’s your choice?

Choose one and ride with it — the cons included. Don’t waste your energy complaining.

If you think you are so different, then how come you’re a part of the very environment you complain about?

Sometimes we forget this. I did.

My most recent experience woke me up to it again.

I signed up for Badminton coaching. It’s a convenient time — 6 PM.

It’s almost TOO convenient. The coaches and the students seemed like they’d rather be somewhere else during that time.

Naturally, I found the coaches arriving late. Them not being passionate about teaching, only in it for the money. Wrapping up the class early. The students were skipping the workouts too. Overall, it wasn’t a vibe I connected with. I was the only sincere one out there.

It was the last straw when my lazy coach started projecting his laziness onto me.

He was probably tired from coaching the previous batch of kids.

So I asked myself — “what about me has attracted this particular coach into my life, not a more passionate one?”

Well, maybe it was the fact that I picked a rather convenient, lazy hour for myself — when I damn well knew that there was an early morning 5 AM slot available.

So I switched.

I started waking the hell up at 4AM.

If I’m so passionate, if I think I deserve better coaching than what was being offered, then how do I show that to the Universe and to myself?

By proving it. By winning the morning battle of waking up before sunrise. By changing my priorities and getting out of my comfort zone.

Guess what, the morning coaches are just as passionate about teaching as I am about learning. They’re respectful and sincere, as I’d hoped them to be.

If you want to change your environment, change the thing about yourself first that attracts this environment.

It’s our own karmic habits and karmic DNA that make our life unfold the way it does.

That’s what this life is about.

Transformation. Ascension.

Change yourself to change your life.

Elevate yourself to find your real destiny.

Otherwise, stay stuck complaining. Thinking you deserve better, but doing nothing to deserve better.

Go get it!

Today I woke up and chose tough love.