The One Consistency in the Value of Festivals is Human Connection

Human love and connection

What festivals mean to people

Most people love festivals and wait for them for days. My friends enjoy decorating their homes and collecting many things much before the actual date comes. Festivals to them mean fun and frolic.

As long as it is a fun day they do not care what it symbolizes.

Not everyone enjoys the same things in life. Recently, I met some friends who told me that they do not like festivals because they feel very lonely on that day.

People get busy with their families and friends and forget to look up to others who feel disadvantaged because of age or some health issues.

Ultimately we can say that people like me love the human connection about festivals.

At one time, like many others, there was family around me. We used to shop and prepare for a festival. Whether it was Christmas, Holi, Diwali or Eid festival did not mean anything associated with religious beliefs but to have a connection with family and friends.

We shopped for decorations, lights, colors, food items, flowers, gifts for people, and whatever the festival demanded.

Birthdays were also treated like festivals as the family tradition of going out for a meal and making a person feel special on that day was a priority.

Birthdays meant a lot to my parents and cousins but when I got married my in-laws family no one thought of birthdays as special and were often overlooked.

Festivals were given importance and everyone got together. Being a large family everyone got together for a meal. There would be peels of laughter and much fun.

Changes in life change the perception of festivities.

As long as my parents were alive, the first call in the morning was theirs to wish me.

Today there is no one to call. Festivals or birthdays no one comes. Everyone is dispersed in the world and they are all busy with their families. It is sad and quiet.

I now understand why some people used to say that festivals and birthdays are not fun because there is no one to celebrate with you.

Things change in life when your children grow up. Traditions also change. They say age is a number. No, it is not a number. you may be able to deal with challenges and physical changes and stay active but family and friends dynamics change.

Festivals are celebrated but not in the same form as they used to be celebrated. There is no family and friends have moved out of your life and some new friends have come in.

A few friends remain and these friends are again busy with their families. Very few people are in the same boat as you with no families and friends.

What do you do? Do not give up. Find things to do. Join groups that foster human connection. People don’t come to meet you anymore. You meet them in groups and go on as before not beautifying homes anymore but hanging around together at the malls that are decorated or clubs that celebrate by having programs.

A festival has a great value. It brings together human beings and creates connections.

So remember that things will change with you also one day. Prepare yourself that aging is a slow process but there are several changes that take place in your lives and you have to accept these challenges along your way.

People will come and people will leave you. So you latch on to people If you want a good life when you are growing older in your days.

How I have adapted to the changes in my life

I have not let the family changes or friendships and age matter too much. I have slowly found my ‘herd’ or ‘tribe’ and things to do that matter.

I have rejected and let go of things that mattered earlier but have no meaning anymore.

Life goes on. I have joined new groups.

I have young and old friends. I spend valuable time and have taken up new hobbies. I write on Medium and have made so many friends. I have rejoined senior clubs doing book discussions and online platforms that do good work teaching youngsters.

I have new hobbies like spending time learning Bollywood music and I do social work.

Life is happy because I have a human connection.

I would urge seniors to enjoy joining groups and meeting people actively instead of spending time only with themselves and speculating about changes occurring in their lives.

For me, it was difficult to declare that I am 75 but indeed I am. I have accepted it and am no longer bothered about it. There are plenty of people in the world who love and respect seniors and spend time and energy during festivals and birthdays.

People in your lives change, and circumstances change but human connection remains. If you look for people you find love and affection. You just have to let go of some connections and fill your cup with new connections.

©Dr. Preeti Singh, 2024.

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