The often hidden beauty in sadness

We’re raised to believe sadness is something to be avoided, and that happiness is a good to be pursued relentlessly. What if that isn’t true?

If you have been reading my last few posts, you would know I’m going through a terribly sad affair right now. It’s not something I’d wish on anyone, but even as I feel the raw pain of a broken heart, I can reflect on the truly beautiful experience of having a heart that can be broken.

Read that again.

It is truly a beautiful thing to have a broken heart.

How can that possibly be so?

I’ll explain.

Emotions are the nervous system of the heart. In the same way our five senses (touch, taste, smell, hearing and vision) provide a meaningful way for us to experience the physical world, our emotions provide us a meaningful way to experience the world inside ourselves. It’s only through emotions that we can experience the full spectrum of life to the fullest.

However, the senses don’t create a perfect experience.

The sense of touch allows us to feel human skin to skin contact, it allows us to feel textures, trace objects, and interact with our world. It also allows us to feel pain. Touching a hot pan, something sharp, something too cold. It hurts.

The sense of smell literally allows us to stop and smell the flowers. It also lets us smell durian, poop, and whatever name you have for what I call bin juice.

The other physical senses have similar downfalls.

Here’s the kicker — so too do our emotions.

In order to feel happy, we necessarily have to expose ourselves to sadness. To feel love, we must also feel fear.

To experience all the good in life, we also have to experience all the bad too.

So even though I sit here, half a bottle of wine down, a tightness in my throat, and pain behind my eyes daring me to cry once again, I feel beautiful. How lucky I am to have a heart that can break, because I know it also means I have a heart that can love.