The Office Part 1

Summary

An office worker recounts a humorous birthday prank played on their boss, Martin, involving a stripper-gram and a fake hitman scare, revealing the lighter side of office dynamics.

Abstract

The narrative unfolds in a bustling sales office where the author witnesses an elaborate birthday prank orchestrated by colleagues to surprise their boss, Martin. The prank begins with the arrival of a menacing-looking individual, intended to be mistaken for a hitman, which causes a moment of panic until the true nature of the visit is revealed. The 'hitman' is actually the security for a stripper-gram, hired to perform a striptease for Martin's birthday. The prank's success is marked by Martin's genuine fear and his subsequent humorous threat to his colleague, Mike, who masterminded the ruse. The author reflects on Martin's occasional overbearing management style, suggesting the prank was a form of karmic retribution, and teases further stories from the office, hinting at a series of amusing anecdotes to come.

Opinions

The author finds the prank, particularly the fake hitman scenario, to be a source of humor rather than concern, indicating a workplace culture that values playful camaraderie.
The author seems to have a love-hate relationship with the boss, Martin, acknowledging his fear as justified given the context of a recent company fraud incident, yet also suggesting that Martin's bossy nature made the prank a fitting response.
The author's tone suggests a sense of solidarity with the other employees, enjoying the moment of reversal where the boss, usually in control, is momentarily at the mercy of a prank.
There is an underlying appreciation for the creativity and quick thinking of Mike, the colleague who orchestrated the prank, as well as the other employees who played along to ensure its success.
The author hints at a nostalgic fondness for the office environment, describing it as the funniest place they have ever worked, which implies a retrospective appreciation for the camaraderie and humor that characterized their time there.

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

Gian Paolo Aliatis on Unsplash

I sat at my desk on the back wall facing the entrance of the huge open plan room that served as an office for fifteen to twenty cold call tele/field salesmen. Behind me was an enormous mirror which allowed my boss who sat opposite me with his back to the front door to see who was coming in.

On this particular day I suddenly saw one of the ugliest monsters I have ever seen in my life walk through the door. This human behemoth had cauliflower ears, an indescribable face tattoo and a ring through his nose.It was not a pleasant sight.

My boss, catching sight of this vision of ugliness in the mirror behind me, started to rise and turn to the door to ask his customary "Can I help you?" In an instant a colleague sat to my left jumped up from behind his desk and ran towards the apparent dangerous criminal on the run. Stopping short of the entrance, just in front of the boss's desk, Mike said to Martin the boss "It's ok Mart, I've got this, quick come this way."

Martin looked flummoxed and asked Mike what it was all about. Mike just signalled for another colleague in the know about what it was all about to deal with the ugly monster as he rapidly whisked Martin forcibly by the arm into a back room, slamming the door shut very quickly behind him.

Once the boss was out of the office all became clear about what was going on. It was Martin's birthday and the rest of the lads in the office had organised a stripper-gram surprise with a long blond bombshell. The thug at the door was merely her security guy making sure she came to no harm.

Once the sexy babe had her ghetto blaster inset ready to accompany her striptease dance routine, Martin was brought back into the office. As he slowly walked back to his desk he stopped and looked back at Mike and snarled in all seriousness "I'll f@cking kill you for that Mike."

After the show I pulled Mike to one side and asked about Martin's snide threat to kill him. The explanation was hilarious.

A couple of weeks before this event Martin had dismissed somebody, the son of a famous actress, for carrying out a company fraud. The disgruntled ex employee had threatened to get his revenge for being dismissed. Of course, everybody treated it as an idle threat and thought no more of it. Now fast forward to Martin's birthday.

When Mike first saw that ugly monster stripper-gram security guy at the door the only thing Tony could think of to buy the girl time to set her stuff up was to tell Martin that the ugly monster was in fact a hitman working for the ex employee and had come to put a cap in Martin's ass.

Martin crapped himself and went white as a sheet and was almost in tears asking Mike if he knew of any back way out of the building. Eventually somebody gave a tap on the door to signal to Mike that the stripper-gram beauty was ready to perform and out he came with a terrified Martin.That was when he snarled his threat to Mike as he made his way back to his desk.

Now had Martin been anybody else I might have sympathised a little, but at times he could be a bit too bossy with his minions for my liking, I reckon he got all he deserved, all perhaps except the lovely stripper-gram girl doing her artful routine, that little treat he maybe did not deserve.

Over the coming days I will regale you with yet more tales of some of the shennanigans that went on in that office, an office which has to be the funniest place I ever worked in over fifty years.

Office Life

The Office Part 1

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

The Office Part 2

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

The Office Part 3

Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?