The Night Owl v the Morning Person
Usually, they can get along
I think whether you are a night owl or a morning person is born, not made.
I have always been a night owl, going to bed early only when I had to, because I had school or work the next day. On weekends or vacation, I stayed up until 1 or 2 in the morning, then slept in until 9 or 10. Even when I had to get up at 6:30 to get to work on time for the four years I was teaching high school, I could not force myself to go to bed earlier than midnight. Occasionally I’d take a nap after work, but most times I didn’t. I just slept longer on weekends.
My husband, Dave, is a morning person. I mean REALLY a morning person. He goes to sleep at 8:00 PM, even in the summer when it’s still light. He wakes up somewhere between 4 AM and 6 AM and after a couple of cups of coffee, he’s ready to start the day. He’ll mow the lawn at 7 AM. He does the grocery shopping as soon as the store’s doors open. He likes to get his work done early and then relax the rest of the day.
I do my best writing after midnight.
Most of the time, our schedules actually work for us. I get quiet time to myself in the evenings. He has quiet time to himself in the mornings. We spend afternoons together. It’s the best of both worlds — time to ourselves and time with each other.
Dave also likes to schedule his appointments (doctor, dentist) for early in the day, usually the first appointment available. And that’s fine. He can take the car (we only have one) and be back before I need the car for anything. My exercise class is at 10:45, and all my appointments (doctor, dentist, vet) are scheduled for mid-afternoon.
The problem arises when he needs me to drive him to an appointment, like an eye appointment where he’ll be too blurry eyed to drive home, or the airport. Last month, he flew down to Texas to help scatter the ashes of a couple of family members, and he scheduled the flight for 6 AM. After some logistical calculations, he allowed me to drive him to the airport at midnight, so I could come home and go to bed at my usual time. He spent the night at the airport. He didn’t enjoy it, but he was sweet and let me sleep.
Now his older brother is in bad shape, and he and his wife need Dave to come down and help. Dave will be gone for at least a week, longer if necessary. I don’t mind, although we (the dogs and I) will miss him a lot. The dogs especially, because they get their breakfast nice and early when Daddy’s home. Mommy sleeps late, and that means they have to wait. By the time I get up, they are dragging and nearly starving (they tell me. I don’t believe it, but dogs can pull the big-eyed pity look when they want to.)
But here we go again with the damned 6 AM flight, which means he is supposed to be at the airport by 4. This time, he really does not want to spend many hours in the airport. So we have come up with a compromise.
It’s 8 PM, and he is in bed. I will wake him up at 2. It takes a little over a half an hour to get to the airport, so he’ll be there somewhere between 2:30 and 3, and I will get home a little over a half an hour later, between 3 and 3:30.
I probably won’t be up in time for exercise class (unless the dogs are mean and wake me up just for the hell of it.) I probably won’t be real bright and shiny Thursday, with or without exercise class, but Dave won’t have to spend all night in the empty airport.
At least I won’t have to stay up late to go get him, but, if it’s like last time, he’ll get to the airport at midnight, so I’ll still have to drive in the dark to pick him up. I think morning people should be willing to compromise when a plan includes their night owl partner, but so far, it hasn’t worked that way.
Next month is his colonoscopy. What do you want to bet that’s scheduled for bright and early, too? I can’t wait.
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