Summary

The author recounts a negative experience with a self-checkout machine at a grocery store, personifying the machine as a cashier and critiquing its performance.

Abstract

In an opinion piece, E. Katherine Kottaras narrates a frustrating encounter with a self-checkout machine at a grocery store, which is humorously personified as an inept cashier. The article details a series of mishaps, including difficulties with scanning items, emotional breakdowns, and inefficient bagging, culminating in an outburst from the machine. The author uses this experience to reflect on the broader implications for the American workforce, suggesting that the shift towards automation may be detrimental to customer service and the economy.

Opinions

The author views the self-checkout experience as a negative reflection on the state of the American worker, implying that automation leads to a loss of jobs and a decline in service quality.
The personification of the self-checkout machine as a cashier emphasizes the author's dissatisfaction with its performance, highlighting issues such as inefficiency, lack of training, and emotional instability.
The author expresses concern about the emotional readiness of automated systems to handle simple issues without malfunctioning, as exemplified by the machine's breakdown when faced with scanning difficulties.
There is a clear frustration with the impersonal and sometimes confrontational nature of automated customer service, as shown by the machine's aggressive prompts and the author's imagined comment card complaints.
The author implies that the new American worker, as represented by the self-checkout machine, may be a sign of a doomed economy, lacking the human touch and adaptability of traditional workers.

The New American Worker

A review of the cashier who helped me today. It did not go well.

Digital collage of the writer at the self-checkout created by SELF

I went on a rushed trip to the grocery store today, and as much as I hated to, I utilized the self-checkout machines, thereby placing yet another nail in the coffin of the American worker and giving breath to the automated teller. I can offer no other justification to excuse this brief lapse in moral judgment except that the other lines were long, and I had a meeting to attend.

I reviewed the receipt to ensure that I had received my savings, and upon reading it, I was struck by this short, declarative sentence written in all capital letters: “YOUR CASHIER TODAY WAS SELF.”

I thought about filling out a comment card to evaluate my cashier’s effort.

I wanted to complain that my cashier was hurried and distracted. She did not know how to operate the register effectively, especially when scanning the fruits and vegetables. The bananas required that she input very specific item numbers to process the weight. It was like she had nearly failed tenth-grade math.

My cashier couldn’t get the bags open. She became tangled in the cord of the barcode scanner. She scowled at the people waiting in line behind me.

When the computerized voice of the cash register did not process the bag of potato chips and then yelled at her to “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA” because they were too lightweight to be detected by the bagging area’s magical detectors, my cashier swore under her breath — terrible profanity, unfit for children or the elderly.

Or anyone, really.

I could not even repeat it on a comment card.

When the computerized voice of the register yelled at her to “PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE” because the carrots would not scan, my cashier started to cry. Like actual tears, streaming down her pale cheeks. She should have been trained for such scenarios so that she is emotionally ready to handle simple issues without spiraling into a complete and utter mental breakdown — and in public no less.

At this point, my cashier tried to open the box of tissues that I was purchasing so that she could use a few to blow her nose.

Alas, the box of tissues would not scan either.

Once the cashier finally scanned all the purchases, she could not arrange the products efficiently in the shopping bag. (Who puts sixteen ounces of canned tomatoes on top of a fresh carton of eggs?) Through it all, she did not even offer the hint of a smile.

When the computerized voice of the register yelled at her to “PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS. PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS. PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS,” my cashier yelled back at the computerized voice, tears still streaming down her cheeks: “YOU CAN TAKE YOUR ITEMS AND PLACE THEM WHERE THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE YOU LOUSY NO GOOD COMPUTERIZED PIECE OF — .”

I can’t even finish what she said.

Just know: it was completely and utterly unprofessional.

I wanted to write on that comment card that if this is the new American worker, our economy is quite doomed.

But, alas, I did not have the time.

E. Katherine Kottaras holds an M.A. in English and an M.S. in Kinesiology with a focus on Integrative Wellness, and she is a contemplative writer and holistic teacher, having worked at the middle, high school, and community college levels for over two decades. She is a yoga teacher, personal trainer, and health coach while also living with invisible illnesses and neurodivergence, and as such, she is passionate about mindfulness, bodily self-determination, and health equity. As the queer daughter of an immigrant, Katherine believes that holistic and inclusive approaches to expression, healing, and growth should be accessible to all.

Connect with Katherine on all the social medias: IG, YouTube, FB, LinkedIn, Twitter, or at katherinekottaras.com

Read every story from Katherine (& thousands of other writers) by signing up for Medium. Your $5/month membership directly supports writers (ad free!).