The Narcissists Twist; Reverse Hoovering.

It’s a form of abuse where you Hoover yourself.

The good ole Narcissistic Hoover. The term is coined from the famous Vacuum Cleaner, often referring to the abuser trying to “suck” you back into the abuse.

But what if they don’t, Hoover?

Maybe you are no contact as we speak, and you are wondering, “are they going to Hoover as I read about?” Where are they? This form of thinking will land the victim right back in the mix of their abuse.

I know! I’ve experienced it multiple times!

If the Narcissist is playing the waiting game, you will lose. No, I’m serious; they will out-wait you, especially if you have shown your pattern to them in the past. Never underestimate them. They are constantly observing your behaviors, just as we do theirs.

Some Narcissists do not Hoover, but they sure as shit will be waiting with open arms when the victim comes sniffing back around. It’s all part of their game.

In the beginning, when victims go no contact, it is tough to accomplish. I failed miserably multiple times. I would always email, call, leave messages, show up at her house, or text.

She would have me blocked initially, and then after 5–14 days, she would unblock me at times; she knew I would be reaching out. I confronted her on this tactic multiple times, and each time she’d tell me I was never blocked. If you learn anything, know they are expert liars. If their mouth is moving, 99% of the time, it’s a lie or a fabrication of the truth.

If I had emailed her, they would go unanswered, but then weeks later, she would finally respond.

Usually, she had other “things” occupying her time when she ignored me and didn’t have time for my nonsense. But when she was lonely again and needed that attention, she would respond to me.

This is the Reverse Hoover when they out-wait us when we reach out, but in reality, we are Hoovering ourselves. They are getting the contact from us, but we are doing the dirty work.

The Reverse Hoover plays right into their narrative that they are so desirable. “We can’t live without them!” The truth is, we are nothing but trauma bonded to these assholes.

Your only chance is complete no contact! It’s fucking hard, I know it is, but that’s your only hope.

Anything other than no contact will prolong your misery and play right into their game.

It’s a game where they have the directions, and we never knew they existed.