The Myth Of Victimless Cheating
5 strong reasons concealed infidelity will hurt too.
You have no doubt heard the phrase: "what they don’t know won’t hurt them," but did you know that it’s a common rationalization for infidelity that some cheaters proclaim to convince themselves that their actions are victimless?
"Nearly every cheater I’ve ever worked with has convinced himself or herself that he or she is not hurting anyone." -Robert Weiss, Ph.D.
This belief can be a dangerous trap but, unfortunately, cheaters keep telling themselves that downplaying the impact of their indiscretions is just safeguarding their partner’s feelings. However, cheaters understanding that infidelity is never truly victimless and it will end up hurting their committed partners nonetheless is actually more considerate.
Some of the ways infidelity can hurt partners even when they are not yet aware of the affair include:
- it can lead to a corrosive sense of guilt that seeps into the relationship;
- it's not uncommon for cheaters to eventually leave their committed partners for their affair partners;
- the strain on emotional bonds can become palpable;
- the time and resources invested in an affair partner by the cheater inevitably means a lack of full availability for the committed partner; and
- infidelity serves as an indication of underlying issues in the relationship about to come to a head.
Acknowledging the potential harm of even a concealed infidelity will give partners a chance to rethink their choices, and the opportunity to seek growth and healing, both for themselves and their relationships. After all, respect, honesty, and trust are the foundation upon which solid relationships are built, not secrecy and betrayal.
