The Movie Memories that Shaped My Life
Remembering the movies and the people I watched them with
What I watched with you. All of you. The yous of my life.
I remember the scenes so vividly. All I have to do is press pause again and rewind and it will play for me in vibrant Technicolor and classic black and white. “The Mosquito Coast” as I lay in my hotel bed in Costa Rica desperately trying to avoid a stranger who couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Notes slide under my door from the hotel staff. A man is calling. A man was always calling. Sometimes it was nice other times it was not. This particular one tried to get me to eat a hallucinogenic flower that grew wild in the Costa Rica wetlands. I didn’t eat the flower. I went back to my room, alone, and watched the River Phoenix in “The Mosquito Coast.”
Mae West paid me a visit in “I’m no Angel” while I lay post-op at Cedars-Sinai Medical Hospital. High on pain meds, I happily dozed in and out of her quippy one-liners. ‘The Flintstones” kept me company at 4:00 am when I tried to stay awake and away from the visiting aliens. If I never went to sleep — they couldn’t get me. My big, black lab, Addie snored while Fred screamed at Wilma. “Valmont” was such a treat while I did my laundry in my first ever solo apartment in West Hollywood. I drank martinis and felt so grown up. My own place, my own dog, my own laundry, watching what I want, when I want. Viva la Valmont!
“Parenthood” screened for me many a time. Each with a lover who didn’t know of the other. “No, I’ve never seen ‘Parenthood’, we can watch it.” I loved Keanu before it was cool because “that’s what little dudes do.” “Ice Age” in that horrible rent a hell hole you made me live in. Well, not living in, but stay in. but, only for a little while. I found another place soon enough. “Almost Famous” — with J and C. I said out loud as if in a daze, “This is the last film I see before someone I love dies.” How random. How bizarre. How true. Just a few hours later — one brother called to tell me we lost the other.
“Six Feet Under” aired the first night I came back from sitting shiva. It helped me through it all. Falling asleep to “Taxi” episodes. Alex was so comforting. Elaine Nardo, I thought she was so lucky to get to hang out with Bobby and Tony and all the guys. I wanted to be Nardo.
“Moonstruck” in your grandma’s house. “You love me? well….snap out of it!” The Peppertree Theatre. You took me to see “The Fog,” “The Wall” and my all-time favorite… “Harold and Maude.” I was ten years old and you were my hero. I snuck in and watched “Heavy Metal” with you. The movie was perverted, strange, and trippy. I liked it.
“Escape from Witch Mountain” in my condo on Cynthia Street, on my bed with Addie. I called Mikul to tell him it was on. I couldn’t’ believe I went so many years without watching it again. Feeling misunderstood — just like the child witches. How can people not see their power? My power? How come none of us ever see each other’s powers?
“The Shinning” — the one made for TV. Scarier than the movie. Also in the condo with Addie. I wanted someone there to watch it with me. A person. Not just any person. A person of character, a person of strength, a person of personhood. Not just anybody, not just any…body. I didn’t sleep that night. I stayed awake thinking. Thinking far too hard about things I couldn’t change.
“Harold and Maude” — everywhere, with everyone. From every home I’ve ever lived in. “Terms of Endearment” when my parents were away. You stayed with me in the townhouse for the first time. It was our first night with each other. I told you all about my theatre company experiences. You listened to me — in my parent's kitchen — like I was the most fascinating person you had ever met. So naturally, I fell in love then and there. Shirley MacLaine was brilliant. The movie made us cry. We had sex on the stairs and in my childhood bedroom. I was 18. Not my first lover — but my first love. Who knew there would be so many? So many loves. So many Movies.
I‘m thankful for the storytelling soundtrack that continues to add music, and enhance the memories, to this big show I call my life.