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Abstract

unication in our tech-savvy world, we had become just too lazy to bother thinking beyond the words uttered. Yet, the rise of emoticons is telling of how much non-verbal communication human beings crave.</p><figure id="b3c5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*x8d_6Aw6AxUB7Xbv"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@markuswinkler?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Markus Winkler</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h2 id="7a07">Non-verbal cues can be life-saving.</h2><p id="e853">Malcolm Gladwell, in his latest book, <i>Talking to Strangers</i> explores why we make mistakes in judging the intent of strangers, calling this <i>the stranger problem</i>. He clarifies that in ancient times, princes in the same family or people of the same background and culture waged wars for power. However, <i>the stranger problem</i> has become more complicated in modern times, where two people of different backgrounds try to communicate through a web of <i>translations</i>. As a result, such interpretations are not necessarily from one language into another. Instead, they are from the context of one person into that of the other.</p><p id="c140" type="7">Most of our misunderstandings stem from messages getting lost in such translation. And in several instances, they have cost some people their lives.</p><p id="86c8">Non-verbal cues, and especially the quality of eye-contact, is a tell-tale way of sorting the trustworthy from the shifty.</p><h2 id="2880">Why is it essential to develop our perception of eye-contact?</h2><p id="6f9e">Eye-contact allows us to hear the unsaid. When something is said, it will enable us to corroborate the spoken words with the true meaning that eyes reflect. In my experience, more than any other non-verbal cues, eye contact is the most credible source of information. Eyes don’t lie.</p><p id="8775">As Pamela Meyer says in <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar?language=en">her TED talk </a>while helping the audience sort the fake smiles from the genuine ones,</p><p id="7e3f" type="7">T

Options

he real smile’s in the eyes, the crow’s feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted.</p><p id="e4b2">She goes on to share that among the many more indicators of lying that science has surfaced, one is that liars will shift their blink rate. Women use this art, instinctively. We have used this method throughout history, knowingly or unknowingly, to keep ourselves and our families safe from harm.</p><p id="953d">So there may be a lot more information in the eyes of a stranger than we imagine. There may be much more <i>credible</i> information available through eye contact than any other non-verbal signal.</p><h2 id="aafe">Embracing the opportunity to trust</h2><p id="5a96">We have traditionally reserved the art of reading eyes to either romantic relationships or the forensic sciences. However, paying attention to eye-contact is just as applicable in every realm of human interaction, from mundane day-to-day interactions to professions such as medicine, business, politics, crisis management and of course, teaching. TEDx speaker and teacher, Carlos Budding is hearing-impaired himself. In <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/carlos_budding_eye_understand_the_power_of_non_verbal_communication">his talk</a>, he shares how he taught English language to deaf children using nothing but eye-contact to both communicate with and understand them.</p><p id="8a72" type="7">Eye contact does not spread the coronavirus; it spreads warmth and builds trust.</p><p id="203a">In the last half a year when we stepped out on that rare occasion, all we could see were a handful of unrecognizable, masked people. Whenever I have crossed paths (at a two-metre distance), instead of the usual hi or hello, people looked away as if trying hard to maintain a safe distance even mentally. These silent interactions were indeed strange as if being in the very presence of another human long enough to exchange a glance could potentially spread the disease. I hope the next time, our paths cross, we will take the time to establish eye-contact, and read each others’ eyes, carefully. Eye contact does not spread the coronavirus, it spreads warmth and builds trust.</p></article></body>

The Most Underrated Opportunity of COVID-19

Can you read my eyes?

I was listening to Canadian singer-songwriter and speaker, Dave Carroll on JustOneQuestion, an interview series run by well-known speaking coach Nick Morgan the other day. Dave shared how things have become socially strange during this pandemic because suddenly, everyone around us is masked.

Through evolution, human beings have developed an intuitive ability to read facial expressions. We can make split-second decisions whether or not to trust someone. However, we may be too quick to grieve the loss of this essential source of information. On the contrary, we may be missing the most important, yet underrated opportunity to advance human understanding that this pandemic has offered us.

The ability to read each other’s eyes

Human beings crave non-verbal communication.

Undeniably, not only is the mask a barrier to social interaction (which is helpful in these times) but it is also a mental barrier in being able to trust someone. Yet, the reality is that masks are here to stay for the foreseeable future. So, going forward, we may have to deploy our eye-contact-reading skills more than we currently do.

Masks and the resulting need to rely upon eye-contact for veracity may take us to a whole new level of human understanding. Eventually, we may all graduate to using transparent face shields or some other solution. However, this pandemic, while it lasts, has given us a window of unprecedented opportunity to develop our perception of non-verbal cues. Never since the days when women wore veils, did we have to think carefully about what someone really means. With ubiquitous and mostly free over-communication in our tech-savvy world, we had become just too lazy to bother thinking beyond the words uttered. Yet, the rise of emoticons is telling of how much non-verbal communication human beings crave.

Non-verbal cues can be life-saving.

Malcolm Gladwell, in his latest book, Talking to Strangers explores why we make mistakes in judging the intent of strangers, calling this the stranger problem. He clarifies that in ancient times, princes in the same family or people of the same background and culture waged wars for power. However, the stranger problem has become more complicated in modern times, where two people of different backgrounds try to communicate through a web of translations. As a result, such interpretations are not necessarily from one language into another. Instead, they are from the context of one person into that of the other.

Most of our misunderstandings stem from messages getting lost in such translation. And in several instances, they have cost some people their lives.

Non-verbal cues, and especially the quality of eye-contact, is a tell-tale way of sorting the trustworthy from the shifty.

Why is it essential to develop our perception of eye-contact?

Eye-contact allows us to hear the unsaid. When something is said, it will enable us to corroborate the spoken words with the true meaning that eyes reflect. In my experience, more than any other non-verbal cues, eye contact is the most credible source of information. Eyes don’t lie.

As Pamela Meyer says in her TED talk while helping the audience sort the fake smiles from the genuine ones,

The real smile’s in the eyes, the crow’s feet of the eyes. They cannot be consciously contracted.

She goes on to share that among the many more indicators of lying that science has surfaced, one is that liars will shift their blink rate. Women use this art, instinctively. We have used this method throughout history, knowingly or unknowingly, to keep ourselves and our families safe from harm.

So there may be a lot more information in the eyes of a stranger than we imagine. There may be much more credible information available through eye contact than any other non-verbal signal.

Embracing the opportunity to trust

We have traditionally reserved the art of reading eyes to either romantic relationships or the forensic sciences. However, paying attention to eye-contact is just as applicable in every realm of human interaction, from mundane day-to-day interactions to professions such as medicine, business, politics, crisis management and of course, teaching. TEDx speaker and teacher, Carlos Budding is hearing-impaired himself. In his talk, he shares how he taught English language to deaf children using nothing but eye-contact to both communicate with and understand them.

Eye contact does not spread the coronavirus; it spreads warmth and builds trust.

In the last half a year when we stepped out on that rare occasion, all we could see were a handful of unrecognizable, masked people. Whenever I have crossed paths (at a two-metre distance), instead of the usual hi or hello, people looked away as if trying hard to maintain a safe distance even mentally. These silent interactions were indeed strange as if being in the very presence of another human long enough to exchange a glance could potentially spread the disease. I hope the next time, our paths cross, we will take the time to establish eye-contact, and read each others’ eyes, carefully. Eye contact does not spread the coronavirus, it spreads warmth and builds trust.