The most transparent way to live in middle age: immerse yourself in being yourself

Writer Oscar Wilde was asked, “What is the scariest thing in the world?” ”

Wilde replied, “Too many people don’t live like themselves.” ”

When we are young, we live in the world, and our lives are tied up by too many things.

The eyes of the outside world, the evaluation of the world, the noise of the crowd…… It’s all a burden on the heart.

When he reached a certain age, he washed away the lead and lived a transparent life.

Only then did I discover that the best way for a person to live is actually very simple:

Be yourself immersively, don’t look around.

01

Don’t meddle in other people’s affairs.

In “Caigen Tan”, it is said: “Fu Mo is blessed with few things, and disaster is not bad for many hearts.” ”

A lot of troubles in life actually come from a nosy heart.

The writer Yang Benfen had a cousin who claimed to want to do business when he was young.

Yang Benfen’s father heard about it, and without saying a word, he let his cousin borrow most of his savings.

Later, my cousin returned empty-handed, and everyone learned that he was not doing business at all, but had cheated the money out of gambling.

In order to let his cousin “turn back”, his father not only forgave the other party, but also took the initiative to give him money to help him find a house.

As a result, my cousin got the money and ran into the casino to lose all his money.

The father who scattered all the family wealth was oppressed in the following years.

But such a pay, not only did not return the gratitude of his cousin, but he got resentment and contempt.

There is a saying in “Xingshi Hengyan”: “It’s not about yourself, don’t worry about it, don’t speculate on it.” ”

At a certain age, you have to be aware of where you stand.

Don’t put your feet on everything in front of anything, and don’t show your kindness enthusiastically.

Because whether it is a stranger or someone around you, you don’t need to be overly enthusiastic and caring.

Chen Daoming once talked about his concept of making friends.

He said that he would not interfere with his friends’ affairs at any time.

Even if the other party takes the initiative to talk about his private affairs, he will take the initiative to stop it.

Some people say that he is cold, and some people judge him as unkind.

He responded: Interfering too much in unnecessary interference will make each other’s hearts gap, and even destroy each other’s friendship.

This well-defined lifestyle allows Chen Daoming to retain his inner world and be more comfortable with himself.

When people reach middle age, the so-called maturity is to become more and more aware of other people’s affairs and their own affairs.

Instead of expending energy in other people’s trivialities, it is better to give energy back to yourself.

Don’t interfere easily, don’t explore too much.

Immerse yourself well, and your heart will be more calm and stable.

02

Other people’s emotions are not affected.

Bai Yansong once said: The reason why we live a tired life is not that life is too mean, but that we are too easily swayed by the emotions of others.

Entrepreneur Li Xiaolai went on a business trip abroad for a while and met an old classmate when he came back.

I haven’t seen him for many years, and Li Xiaolai planned to catch up with the old days.

Unexpectedly, as soon as the classmate sat down, he complained to him.

The leader is not a thing, the wife is not considerate and gentle enough, and the children are not obedient…… Between the words, it’s all about the unsatisfactory life.

Li Xiaolai chatted with him for a while, and found that he couldn’t help but start complaining.

After hesitating for a moment, Li Xiaolai quickly got up to check out and politely sent the classmate away.

In life, there will always be some people who have a lot of negative energy.

Originally, you were very happy, but their crying faces made you fall into loss in an instant;

Originally, you were very satisfied with life, but their constant complaints made you start to doubt yourself as well.

Middle age is not easy, so why lose yourself in the quagmire of other people’s emotions.

The writer Harris was walking with a friend when he met a vendor with a gloomy face.

My friend wanted to buy a newspaper, so he politely talked to the vendor, but the vendor kept talking coldly.

My friend took the newspaper and said to Yan Yuese: “Thank you.” ”

The hawker still ignored him.

After the two bought the newspaper and left, Harris couldn’t help but complain: “That person’s attitude is too bad, isn’t it?” ”

But my friend was so commonplace: “He’s always been like this.” ”

Puzzled, Harris asked, “Then why are you still so polite to him?” ”

The friend replied calmly: “Why should I let him decide my actions?” ”

There is a term in psychology called “emotional freedom”, which refers to the fact that other people’s emotions have nothing to do with themselves, and their own emotions are not affected by others.

For middle-aged people, maturity is to gradually learn to block out other people’s emotions and immerse themselves in being themselves.

Don’t be disturbed by other people’s words and deeds, and don’t affect your mood because of other people’s mistakes.

When we immerse ourselves in our emotions, we will find that beauty is always there and life is worth living.

Yang Tianzhen, a well-known agent, has always been known for his “sobriety in the world”.

Someone once asked her why she didn’t get married, and she coldly asked the other party: What does it matter to you?

When she sees someone she hates in the list of shows, she will ask the organizer to negotiate a replacement instead of forcing herself.

Yang Tianzhen said: I don’t want to be a person who lives only for others, I want to be a person who takes himself seriously.

Everything is true to her heart, so whether she is an agent or a brand manager, she can be chic and free.

Zhou Guoping said: “Happiness is not to live like others, but to be able to listen to one’s own inner life.” ”

The further back in life, the more we need to recycle our eyes and find our inner balance.

When you can immerse yourself in yourself, your applause will never be absent.