The Most Terrifying Prison In The World

Have you ever been?

Being a prisoner of my own mind made me realize how out of touch I was in the present. I would sit and ponder on situations that I knew I couldn’t change but my mind made me think otherwise.

When my fiancé suddenly passed, I spent the following days thinking about what I could’ve done to save his life. My mind allowed me to believe that if I would’ve been closer to him (vicinity wise), that I could have gotten to him in time. Survivor’s guilt.

Or the thought that I was too scared to kiss his lifeless lips and wondering that if I did, would it have brought him back to life? Maybe I should’ve leaned closer to his ear and whispered “I Love You”, like how I wanted to, but my body was frozen. So, I fell silent.

I’m sure all these different plays that are unrealistic would’ve made a difference because my mind said so. I almost believed it. And if I did, I’m also sure that I wouldn’t be alive today. The guilt would’ve preserved me and eaten me alive.

When everything seems like a possibility, it makes fate look unbalanced. Even when things appear to happen in the way that they are supposed to, we still convince ourselves that the outcome should’ve been different. Maybe we’re our biggest threat after all.

The Four Walls of a Prison Cell

Each wall is feeding off of the energy that we put out into the world. The walls are thin, cold, and raw. It can see through us but we can’t see through it. We’re naked and vulnerable. The mind preys on us and leaves room for us to be tested. How often do you fail your test?

The Bars of a Prison Cell

We often lean on others for support when we can’t get the courage to see it within ourselves. Our expectations of people are not real and in the end, we’re almost always left in pure disappointment. The mind is tricky and if you get lost in it, you’ll lose yourself.

There’s no one else being housed in this prison. It’s only you. That would mean that we are the ones with the power to break free from our own prisons, but we choose to be prisoners instead.

Are we programmed this way? This makes it all more difficult to accept that we are the ones responsible for our every moves. It seems easier when we can blame it on someone else, doesn’t it? We have the “key”, after all.

Who Are We?

We are our own liars. We are our own truths. There’s events that have taken place in our lives that we actually had full control over but refused to believe so merely because we gave someone our power. Leave room in your mind for honesty and forgiveness. Not for everyone else but for yourself.