The Most Telling Trait Of People

Summary

The content suggests that a person's character can be discerned by the topics they choose to discuss, with different patterns of speech revealing underlying insecurities, confidence levels, and overall happiness.

Abstract

The article delves into the psychology behind people's conversational topics, positing that those who frequently talk about themselves or speak ill of others may be seeking validation due to feelings of inadequacy or jealousy. Conversely, individuals who discuss their problems might be seeking guidance, indicating a lack of self-reliance. On a more positive note, people who speak highly of others or express enthusiasm about various subjects tend to be content with themselves and are often pleasant and resilient. The text emphasizes the importance of listening attentively and asking probing questions to understand the motivations behind people's speech patterns, which can provide deeper insights into their personalities.

Opinions

People who talk about themselves or belittle others may struggle with low self-worth and confidence, using conversation as a means to prove their worth or undermine others.
Individuals who often discuss their problems may have learned dependency and are looking for external solutions to their issues, potentially adopting harmful mindsets in their search for happiness.
Those who speak positively about others or show genuine excitement in conversations are likely to be secure in themselves, less prone to negative emotions, and can be a positive influence on those around them.
The motivations behind a person's speech are crucial; if the intent is to impress, it may reflect insecurity, whereas speaking from genuine interest indicates a healthier self-image.
Active listening and consideration of why people say what they do can lead to a better understanding of their true character and underlying psychological states.

The Most Telling Trait Of People

The most telling thing about someone’s personality is what they talk about.

People who talk about themselves or talk badly about others are often looking for approval.

Without the approval of the people around them, they feel small, not confident, and even worthless, so they talk about themselves to try to prove their own worth or try to disprove the people they admire or are jealous of, so everyone else sees just how important they are.

Both of these kinds of people are usually low in confidence, are seldom happy when left alone, and have low self-worth unless surrounded by others.

People who talk about their problems are often looking to find help or someone to guide them.

These people often learned very little responsibility, were often shown the way, and now, that they are on their own, they don’t know what to do anymore.

They are very unsure of themselves and just want to find the easy way out.

Often these people are followers and will quickly adopt the mindsets of the more confident people around them… for better or for worse, in hopes that this will lead them to happiness.

People who talk highly about others or who often talk excitedly about things are often the happiest with themselves.

They do not compare themselves so often that they feel bad about the fact that there are people better than them and they know that their excitement is unaffected by these people.

These kinds of people are often very nice and hardly ever angry as there is little you can do to upset them.

Notice, however, that there is a difference in WHY they could talk this way.

If they are talking this way to impress then they fall into the first category, but if they are talking this way just because they want to then you can count on these people being a very positive influence.

These are just some of the different things you can tell by what people talk about.

Of course, this is very general, and there are many more, but perhaps this gives you more of an insight into people.

What people talk about and how they talk about these things reveals a lot about a person.

Listen well, try to ask a few deeper questions, and make sure you spend enough time considering why they say what they say and you will come across more and more insights.

For those interested in more reading here is an article by FBI behavioral analyst John Schafer: Reading People by the Words They Speak