The Most Fulfilled Version of Your Life Exists in the Present

Anxiety only exists in the past and the future.

Years ago, my parents took my brother and me to stay in the Wamona Hotel near Yosemite National Park. It’s a quaint, old hotel about 30 or so minutes from the park entrance.

One night, we joined a stargazing group, and a guide led us out onto the golf course adjacent to the hotel. I won’t forget the most transparent night sky I’ve ever seen. Maybe I was young, and it was just my imagination, but every star and nebula in the sky opened themselves up to me.

Lying down on the unkempt golf course grass, I lost track of my spatial awareness. I was lost in a trance as the guide pointed his super-powerful laser pointer into infinity as he told stories about the constellations.

My perspective of the sky shifted. I felt like I was standing, looking forward at the sky instead of up at it.

My first memory of complete mindfulness is when I saw the Milky Way in all of its silky smooth glory, and I’ve reflected on other moments of absolute presentness throughout my life.

Living in the present is the most fulfilling feeling imaginable. It’s a world without stress or regret. Let me explain.

Mindfulness is living in a realm of the now

Right now, I’m not thinking about anything other than the words I’m typing. I’m not thinking about the nine hours I just spent at work, or the 9 hours I have to be there for tomorrow. I’m here, in the now, speaking to you.

Living in the present doesn’t make sense. You might think, yeah, well, I need to think one step ahead at all times. My enemies (angry boss, demanding parents, the governments) are waiting for me to slip up.

If I give them any sense that I’m slowing down, it’ll spell the end for me.

I love the idea behind hustle culture. On paper, it makes a lot of sense, especially in young millennials who are supposed to be full of energy and youth.

I let hustle culture control two years of my life before the pandemic. I was a burning fireball that had his whole day planned ahead of him.

• 7:30 am wake-up and 12 minute walk to the gym while listening to a podcast
• One hour lift at 8:45 am, and be home by 10 am
• Drink a water and protein powder shake and head to the coffee shop
• Spend $5.69 on an oat milk latte that I don’t need and have a meeting with my startup team
• Walk to work at 1 pm and get home at 9 pm
• Realize I have to do the same thing tomorrow and be too stressed to sleep

I was so caught up in the routine that I was killing my actual motivations. I was too busy focusing on what I had to do that I overlooked the memories I made along the way.

I don’t recall many moments during that time, except when I got away and traveled to put my mind at ease.

Living in the future is stressful

I’ve never quoted a Bible verse before, but I’m going to do it now. I memorized it long ago when I struggled with crippling anxiety as a kid.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” — Matthew 6:34

The summer before I started fourth grade, I was so caught up in what I thought it would be like that I couldn’t stand the thought of going back. I was in such a dark place that I ruined my summer thinking about it.

I got through it once the first day of school came. Once I was there, all my worries washed over, and I lived my life. Ever since, I haven’t been as stressed about moments that have yet to come.

Not everyone has experienced this level of darkness within themselves, but it could help you realize what life is about.

Life is about much more than making money, eating food, and thinking about what we’re going to wear to work tomorrow. Though I’ve worn sweats and oversized T-shirts every day I’ve worked from home, the point remains.

Worrying about the future only takes up the precious time you have on the planet. The future is dismal, it’s bleak, and it’s dim. Especially now, as I’ve noticed my students struggle with virtual learning because they don’t know what they’re working for.

Regardless of what you think might happen, you don’t know until you’re there. Prepare this moment for it if you must, but that means setting yourself up today for a better future. The future you want is built today, but not if you know when the “future” is.

Be aware of how you reflect your feelings

I wrote an article once that kicked me in my teeth. It was a little too honest, and it rubbed one of my friends the wrong way.

In my story, I was clearly caught up in the past. My friend asked me why I even wrote it in the first place.

I couldn’t answer that question. I took the story down during our conversation.

Introspective awareness starts from within

Your thoughts are born in your brain, and your voice takes them outward to your surroundings.

Painters express their voice on a canvas. I found myself looking at a Thomas Kinkade painting and lost myself in his direction of light.

YouTubers make videos to express their thoughts. Their thoughts are handcrafted into content to be consumed by the masses.

Your inner feelings also bounce off the surfaces around you and onto others.

Your thoughts are shown in the way you speak to people and in where your intentions lie. Living in the present is the only way to understand the outcomes of what you say ahead of time.

Meditation is one way to become aware of oneself. Energy starts inward. Controlling that energy is difficult, and it takes practice, but it is doable.

It is, however, the only energy that you can control. You can tame internal energy with time, but you can’t control external factors.

Climate change, how others look at you, and politics are out of your control. Being aware of this is the first step to living a more fulfilled and present life.

I have a friend who gets very upset about the state of the world

He lives in the future. He tweets at politicians even though they’re never going to see his messages or even care if they do.

That’s not a life you want to live. Tim Denning said it best:

“Ineffective people accidentally fall into the trap of focusing on the external. They blame people, processes, society, politics, for all of the misery in their life.”

Commenting on what others create traps you in a world of ineffectiveness.

Once you’re aware of this and that your energy is yours to control, you can wield it for the better. You can make today a better one for you and those around you with simple gestures.

Open a door for someone because you have muscles and reflexes that allow you to do so. It takes 0.5% or less of your daily energy to get up from your seat to shake someone’s hand.

You’ll be back to 100% of your energy storage tomorrow. Don’t worry if you run out of juice today.

Calm and collected

I’m leaving a job I’ve held for the last three years for a new one. I struggle with change, even though it’s a good change for me.

I have to learn the intricacies of a new job soon. I’m nervous, and on top of that, I was asked if I was interested in editing for a string of YouTube channels.

Why, all of a sudden, are the pieces starting to move after ten months of my life seemingly being on pause? I don’t know, but I do know I need to keep my emotions in check.

I can only control what I do at this moment. Stressing about a job I haven’t even started isn’t going to do anything for me now, other than weigh me down.

We’re all going to have moments when the weight of our unique world is upon us

We’re not superheroes. The fate of the universe isn’t on our shoulders 24/7.

Your world looks very different than mine, though. I don’t have mouths to feed other than my own, and I can always fall back on my parents if I need it. My interpretation is stress is different than others.

My plight is with the millennials who put undue pressure on themselves to move out of their parents’ house in a city, like LA, where it’s almost impossible to pay rent.

Is there ever really a moment of complete irresponsibility? Even if all the work is done for two weeks, and you’re in the Bahamas on vacation with the love of your life, is it entirely stress-free?

You still had to get there. Traveling, in itself, is one of the most anxiety-inducing activities I can think of.

Knowing is half the battle

You know that the world isn’t going to spoon-feed you gumdrops and rainbows every day.

You can prepare for the stressful days even when you don’t know when they’ll be. You do it by metallurgy fortifying yourself.

• Your phone will fall under your car seat. It’s okay because you shouldn’t text and drive anyway.
• Your dog will spit up on your carpet. Get a cleaning solution from the pet store ahead of time and keep it on hand just in case.
• You’ll drop your Hydroflask and dent it one day. It’s a small price to pay for reducing your plastic use.

These are little things that happen on a day to day basis. No, they’re not as stressful as, say, paying the mortgage on a house, but the little things add up over time.

Protect yourself by acknowledging today’s little moments.

Today is the only day you should think about.

Tomorrow isn’t here yet.

Yesterday already happened.

The right now is a zone of peace.

Final thought

Like a solid gym routine, which requires more than just working out, but a healthy diet and consistency, practicing mindfulness is a lifestyle.

Over time, what you thought was one chore becomes a part of your daily process, to a point where you hardly notice it.

Creating a lifestyle for yourself doesn’t happen overnight. It takes years of practice and plenty of mistakes before you become who you want to be. The thing is, you’ll never be as mindful as you want to be.

And that’s okay.

The fact that you’re continually trying to improve your self-worth is, in itself, the goal. If you continue to become more mindful, you will be a better version of yourself every day.

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