Summary

The article discusses the underlying cause of anxiety in clients, pointing to the need for control as a common root issue, and suggests focusing on what can be controlled to manage anxiety effectively.

Abstract

The article delves into the prevalent issue of anxiety, particularly focusing on the core problem of the need for control among those suffering from it. It explains that while anxiety is a normal human response, it becomes unhealthy when it is excessive, persistent, and interferes with daily life. The author emphasizes that anxiety can be beneficial in small doses, as it helps with motivation and awareness, but it can become debilitating when it spirals out of control. The article suggests that by concentrating on aspects within one's control and setting achievable short-term goals, individuals can reduce anxiety and become more proactive and empowered. The text also provides a model contrasting reactive and proactive people, illustrating how focusing on one's circle of influence can lead to a calmer and more productive life.

Opinions

The author believes that the need for control is the most common underlying issue in clients with anxiety.
Anxiety is seen as a double-edged sword; it can be motivating in moderate amounts but paralyzing when excessive.
The article posits that focusing on things beyond our control leads to increased anxiety, while focusing on what we can control promotes calmness and clarity.
The author endorses the idea that changing one's thoughts can change one's life, suggesting that worrying about things within our control is beneficial and productive.
The article encourages readers to be proactive by setting realistic goals and directing attention to actionable areas, thus turning anxiety into a tool for empowerment rather than a source of panic.
The author cites a model influenced by Stephen Covey's work, which differentiates between reactive and proactive people,

The Most Common “Root” Issue I See With Anxious Clients

If you’re struggling with anxiety symptoms, odds are, this is the reason why.

Signs Your Anxiety is Becoming Unhealthy

Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. What’s more, when these involve repeated episodes of sudden terror that reach a peak within minutes — they turn into panic attacks.

Technically speaking, to classify these symptoms as a “disorder” they must:

a) interfere with daily activities

b) be difficult to control

c) be out of proportion to the actual danger

d) last a long time

e) Cause you to avoid places or situations to prevent an episode

If you notice yourself feeling nervous, having trouble sleeping, and constantly fighting an impending sense of doom (either real or imaginary) — chances are, you may be experiencing an anxious episode.

Why We Feel Anxious, Scientifically

As I stated previously, experiencing anxiety is a normal part of life — and there could even be some benefits from feeling anxious at times. Consider for instance having to do homework for school, or struggling with a challenge in the workplace. Anxiety (in its healthiest form) can help to motivate us and get us moving in the right direction. I think fondly of that time my heart rate was going wild when I was asked to present at a conference in front of thousands of students.

Jokes aside, consider the following reflection from this neuroscientist:

“Anxiety is the mind and body’s reaction to stressful, dangerous, or unfamiliar situations. It’s the sense of uneasiness, distress, or dread you feel before a significant event. A certain level of Anxiety helps us stay alert and aware, but for those suffering from an anxiety disorder, it feels far from normal — it can be completely debilitating.” -Tanja Jovanovic, Ph.D., Consulting Editor from Emory University

In addition, fear in itself is already a helpful emotion — that can warn us of danger or threats and keep us safe by motivating us to adapt to our environment. As such, while feeling anxious has its benefits, at its worst form, it can certainly backfire and become a debilitating illness.

The Most Common Underlying “Root” Issue

The need for control.

This is the single most common “root” issue I see when I meet with clients seeking help for their anxiety. As they share some of their deepest, most emotional stories, I often pause and mirror back to them what they said. Throughout the counseling session, I have one goal: to increase my client’s insight into how they’re thinking and how these thoughts are influencing their core beliefs and behaviors.

“What we focus on or pay attention to is a key determinant of how anxious, or how calm, we are in any situation — from job interviews to coronaviruses.” -James Cormak

The formula is simple.

If you tend to focus on things that are beyond your control, you will feel more anxious in general (the brain has evolved to dislike uncertainty).

On the other hand, if you develop a habit of finding and focusing on things that you can control, you will feel calmer and in turn have more clarity on what to do in any given situation.

Consider the following model of the differences between “reactive people” and “proactive people” (in part influenced by Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People).

Source: https://james-cormack.com/2020/04/21/reduce-anxiety-your-circle-of-control/

As you can see, “reactive people” are concerned about things they can’t control, and stress over long-term goals they maybe don’t have the resources to accomplish yet. In contrast, “proactive people” focus on short-term goals (that can be accomplished immediately), on the path to fulfilling long-term goals — which builds resilience, grit, and empowerment. They’re able to do this because they focus on what is within their power to do. Hence, they are more accomplished, more productive, more clear about their goals, and less worried and anxious about things that are outside of their circle of influence.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Focusing on things that you can control can be difficult. Racing thoughts on environmental concerns such as the weather, the economy, and natural disasters, can be unavoidable. For this reason, it’s important to take action and begin taking steps towards change.

A calmer and more empowering life starts with answering some of these questions:

Am I worrying about something that is within my control or outside my control?
If in my control, what are three things I can do about it?
If outside of my control, what are three things I should be worried about instead?
What are some short-term goals I can worry about right now, that can lead to accomplishing some of the long-term goals I continue to ruminate on?
How is worrying about something that is outside of my control beneficial for me and/or conducive to actually solving the problem?

“If there is no solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it.” ― The Dalai Lama

Final Thoughts

Anxiety, at its best, can be a healthy emotional response to life’s daily stressors. At its worst, it can get the best of us. Racing thoughts on the future, the unknown, and uncertain situations can ignite a fire within us to try to seek control of the situation. And although the thought that one can “control” the situation may sound soothing — the need for control will eventually become ever-increasing and impossible to attain, resulting in perpetual fear, and panic with a side of doom.

“It takes practice to worry less when we’re in the habit of worrying. We can’t eliminate all worries, but we can choose where we direct our attention.” -Seth Gillihan, Ph.D.

In the end, it is within YOUR circle of control whether you want to be a proactive or reactive person. It is up to YOU whether you want to set realistic, attainable goals. Therefore, next time you feel anxious, ask yourself these questions. Make that anxiety work for you, instead of it working you!