The Moment One Commits, Providence Moves Too

Soulmates? Or trauma bond?

“Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans. That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves, too.”

— William Hutchison Murray

“Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”

— Garth Nix, Sabriel

My ex- and current husband Randy and I met on December 31, 2012. In late February, after meeting in person just a couple of times, I moved cross-country, sight unseen. I left my small cottage for his south Florida condo looking over inter-coastal waters across from the ocean.

Prior to that, our sole times together had been in Colorado in vacation-week mode rather than sharing a home. I went from snow to sand despite intense aversion to temperatures above 70. I went from a full clinical practice to playing housewife while awaiting my Florida acupuncture license.

And I went from living alone and making all my own rules for decades…to living in another’s house and world. In some ways, this brought enormous relief. In others, it was my worst nightmare.

My first night in Florida, after dark and amidst huge gusts of wind, we walked across the way and along the ocean. Within moments, right before our eyes, the entire beach flooded with low but powerful, roiling waves. The enormity and danger of it was so unexpected, so bizarre.

I looked to Randy for answers — this was, after all, his turf. He was equally perplexed. In the 8 years he’d lived in Florida, this scenario was a first.

We tried to maintain our light, celebratory mood but felt fear growing, waves threatening to cut us off from safer grounds.

As we held each other tight in rising water and moonlight, my whole body remembered. Even as conscious details hovered just out of reach, I knew this already.

Sometime long, long ago. Somewhere in another form on another timeline or perhaps many timelines. This was not new.

Two souls with a dramatic and perhaps traumatic past…biding their time across other lives…uniting once more. A reunion that was larger than us. A do-over of something my conscious mind could not quite access.

Also, we were not alone. Something else was weighing in.

Whether in favour or against, I do not know.

A message? A warning? A signalling of inter-dimensional shifts and timelines reorganizing? A redirect that would affect not just us, but our own generational lines and those of others?

It was as though our present togetherness was brought before the Gods or some Grand Council. Their ruling that night remains a mystery.

Yet, that night — despite or perhaps because of its surreal nature — faded quickly from conversation. Into something witnessed, not discussed.

We found our way back to safety. We didn’t dwell on the strangeness of what happened or horror of what might’ve been.

We got on with things, in other words. And I got to work sorting my south Florida life with Randy.

Since then, over the years, I’ve had recurrent dreams of towering water. Dreams of other places and other times I do not recognize but always with impossibly tall waves crashing over. Dreams of being out at sea and arriving at the clear, calm recognition that death by capsizing and drowning was near at hand.

I don’t know whether these dreams began that night or existed before, unnoticed. I do know they’ve persisted since.

In the coming days and years, over the course of many walks along that same stretch of sand, the scene never repeated. There were no other instances of the elements rising up around and perhaps against us.

Many years and two marriages later, we found ourselves talking about it. We discovered that our experiences mirrored one another’s and had held fast in memory.

A single walk on a single evening. An unexpectedly seminal moment on this timeline. One of the moments where the veil was paper thin. One of the moments that somehow altered the course of things.

If you liked this article and want to read more such articles without restrictions, please consider becoming a Medium member by using my referral link below. I get a portion from your $5 monthly fee at no extra cost to you, and it will go a long way in supporting me as a writer.

Alternatively, have a listen to my free audio readings here. Heart-sourced thank you’s either way!