The Misery Of Addiction In A Snowstorm

Summary

The article discusses the personal struggle of an individual coping with drug addiction during snowstorms, which exacerbate the challenges of obtaining drugs and heighten the fear of withdrawal.

Abstract

The author recounts the harrowing experience of grappling with heroin and cocaine addiction, particularly during harsh winter weather when access to drugs becomes uncertain. The narrative highlights the psychological torment of an addict facing potential shortages due to impassable roads and the heightened risk of law enforcement attention during city shutdowns. The piece underscores the desperation and financial instability inherent in addiction, as the author reflects on the inability to plan ahead or manage money effectively, often prioritizing drugs over basic necessities like gas. The article concludes with a message of hope, contrasting the dark memories of addiction with the current state of recovery, acknowledging the support of loved ones and the personal journey of overcoming the "beast" of addiction.

Opinions

The author expresses that snowstorms trigger dark memories and emotions due to the increased difficulty in obtaining drugs during such weather conditions.
There is a sense of fear and anxiety associated with the possibility of drug dealers being unavailable or unwilling to operate due to the risk of standing out to law enforcement during a snowstorm.
The article conveys the financial distress addicts face, often living from "dollar to dollar" and prioritizing drugs and cigarettes over other expenses.
The author opines that the nature of addiction makes it impossible to stockpile drugs in anticipation of bad weather, as any supply would be quickly depleted.
The narrative reflects on the blessings of recovery, contrasting the past struggles with the present freedom from active addiction, and acknowledges the role of personal effort and the support of loved ones in the journey to sobriety.

Dark memories of the cold, long winters

Each time snowstorms hit, I am instantly hit with some of my darker memories and emotions. For a long time, I was addicted to heroin and cocaine.

Living next to a rough inner-city, scoring drugs was usually quite easy to do. However, the weather was a factor. Rain could ruin heroin if it got it wet. However, that worry was minor in comparison to the fear that would develop when the winter weather was upon us. That is a story that I simply have to share.

It’s actually a topic that makes a lot of sense. To paint a picture I first want to explain that while our neighboring town does have drugs galore, it is not necessarily a statement that describes the physical abilities a customer may or may not have. Sure, drug dealers operate seven days a week, day or night, rain or shine. However, there are many technicalities within that statement.

As we all know, snow can sometimes completely shut down a city. Streets become empty and quiet, places that look abandoned. This creates barriers for multiple reasons. Drug dealing these days is an industry of driving. The days of calling our drug dealer’s beeper, and then meeting at some street corner are no longer prevalent. This has many pros of course because we can go as far as we need to meet. What was once something of urban cities is now county-wide, with business going on in every city, town, village, or what have you.

While that sounds great for druggies most of the time, the presence of snow is scary and frightening. As we hear about future weather in news reports, the first emotions that arise are difficult and upsetting. Our worries always go to the worst scenario of what happens if the roads are not cleared promptly.

It is a matter of not only bad road conditions, but when the cities shut down, or there is a state of emergency, smart dealers want nothing to do with being the sole vehicles on roads, sticking out like a sore thumb for law enforcement to easily notice.

The phenomenon of weather has plenty of other issues, and much of it revolves around similar examples. But the purpose of this article is not just about drug dealing and weather.

It is more about the horror of not having any access to drugs for multiple days — an addict’s absolute largest, mentally disturbing worse nightmare. Hell, even having a drug dealer unavailable for even just two or three hours, is something an addict never wishes upon themselves.

There are other ways to put this in perspective. A majority of addicts eventually live not paycheck to paycheck, but dollar to dollar. The inability to manage finances is bad enough, To put this in perspective, I can attest to countless times in my life as an active addict, where the cost of cigarettes, or a gallon or two of gas is in itself was a regularly occurring problem.

Many may scoff at the cigarettes and assume that quitting would make financing drugs so much easier. But, as many addicts can agree, abusing illicit drugs often activate major craving for smoking, and often smoke multiple packs of smokes, when abusing things like heroin and cocaine. So just to make it clear, that’s why cigarettes are a usual part of the drug-using lifestyle. We choose drugs and cigarettes even over gas and will risk breaking down in the most dangerous parts of town, just for the prize.

We as addicts could never “plan in advance” and stock up on drugs. Because if we stock up one night, the drugs are always gone, come morning. No matter the amount. Managing a drug addiction is flooded by the constant need to be getting money, every waking minute. So, even my best attempts to plan for something like a snowstorm always fall in vain. It is just the nature of the beast.

It is the snowstorms that I live through now, that represent the beautiful blessings of no longer having an active addiction. While the memories that grow from winter weather can be dark and sad, I quickly have to realize I do not have to live like that anymore. That right there is the equation of faith, thanks to not only ourselves for all the hard work, and to those loved ones around us, that stuck by us and went through the trenches with us.