What Every Writer Should Stop Doing — Eating Their Marshmallow
Before you hit submit, do the marshmallow test, it only takes 20 minutes.
I can feel the rush inside me. I have to write every day as part of my writing challenge.
Don’t procrastinate, I will tell myself. But wait, shouldn’t I at least fix my bed first, before heading to my laptop?
Sometimes the ‘I’ wins, the writer wins, or the ‘id’ wins, the one who can’t delay the gratification of seeing his story done and finished.
I have to be honest. I have been writing one story a day, and if I can squeeze in another story after I finish, I will write some more.
Baby, I am a writing machine. I am very productive. Job well done, I would tell myself.
Even when I’m sleepy, I will drink another cup of coffee to get through more hours of writing. It is my passion, and writing helped me navigate my feelings this year. The inner conversation that goes on in my head.
Until one day, I was so tired. I know where this is all heading, burnout.
Self — Regulation
If I dont stop eating my writer’s ‘marshmallow,’ it will hurt my writing. It will be more about producing content rather than creating stories. I will become the dreaded content mill.
I have to make changes in my writing habits. As a child, I am well-behaved. I always ask first if I can eat candy or cookies. But, I also grew up fearing rejections. I'm in the middle of the spectrum; I m neither an optimist nor a pessimist.
What is the Marshmallow Test?
In what became known as “the marshmallow test,” a child was placed in a room with a treat and presented with a choice. She could eat the treat right away. Or she could wait unaccompanied in the room, for up to 20 minutes, and then receive two treats in reward for her forbearance. — Emily Langer, Washington Post
The author of this experiment is Dr. Walter Mischel.
As a writer, I want to finish a story as soon as possible and move on to the next one. But the writing process includes the following;
- write
- edit
- publish
Each one needs time and attention, and in all three, we can use the basic principles behind the marshmallow test.
Distraction, Delay, and Distancing
Self-gratification can kick in when you are distracted by goals other than what writing means to you in the first place. Are you writing for pleasure or gain?
Distraction
My new writing strategy includes writing without fear. The way to achieve it is to be free of distraction in writing my first draft. I need to call it as such to remind me that writing the first draft is the first step in my writing process.
I found music to be both soothing and distracting. I tried writing without music, and I notice that silence brings clarity to my mind. But if music works for you, please turn it on.
My only advice is to choose music that doesn’t take you on a nostalgic ride, bringing you to a time past, where it easy to get lost and ended up distracted. If I start playing Bridget Jones’s Diary soundtrack music, I will not finish a sentence.
Try an unfamiliar song, a foreign music playlist, my new favorite is Austrian music, even binaural beats can be soothing to the ear.
When I write, I disconnect my laptop from the wifi. Without the Internet, I don’t get distracted by social media, Youtube, or Netflix. I pull on the plug because if there is research needed in the story that comes before writing my first draft.
The same goes for my phone; I put it away and disconnect it from the wifi connection. I turn off all notifications in my phone’s apps, no more alarm bells, and no temptation to have a look at what my friends are saying on Facebook or Twitter.
Delay
After writing my first draft, I’m fighting my id, the one who wants to press the submit or publish button. Breathe, relax, and delay.
Besides, it is only the first draft. What follows is my next rule, edit without mercy and follow Rule 17 of The Elements of Style, “ Omit Needless Words.”
Also, there is the title, subtitle, and images to think about, and the other things to consider like which tags to use, choosing the right publication. There are too many things to do after writing the first draft.
While the compulsion to hit the submit button is a constant battle in my head. I have to make sure that I follow my writing strategy.
To help me delay,
I ask myself, what is the reward that I like for finishing my first draft?
Before I start my editing process, here are my options;
A Netflix movie perhaps, or a freshly brewed coffee, or how about a nice hot shower, one of my rules, as a writer, I need to smell fresh.
Now is the time for any distractions. I reconnect the laptop to the Internet. I check what is happening on social media. I post a funny rant on Facebook or Twitter or say hello, to some friends on Facebook messenger.
And if it's a movie that I want, I watch a movie on Netflix. Or if I want to take a nostalgic ride, I play the Bridget Jones’s Diary soundtrack and sing my version of All by Myself.
After I feel happy with my reward, I start working on my second draft. I ran the story in Grammarly, check for spelling errors, and proofread it.
I also use a text to speech tool instead of reading it out loud. It’s the final step to check if the story sounds right or not.
Decide which publication to submit. Choose the tags, and complete all the bells and whistles to make the story stronger.
I am starting to think like the editor of the publication, editors are not there to finish my work, they are there to help me improve as a storyteller.
Distancing
Let’s talk about rejection.
How many times have you read rejection isn't personal; it is true. But it still hurts, and if that is how you feel, it is ok. Don’t let one rejection makes you stop writing; then rejection becomes your excuse for quitting.
One thing I learn is to distance yourself from what the marshmallow test teaches us. In psychology, it is also called emotional distancing.
Rather than use ‘I,’ by using your name, it will sound you are addressing the rejection from a third person’s perspective. You can see and feel the big difference in saying,
(Your Name) is rejected by (x) publication.
It softens the blow to the ego, or better yet, say;
The story is rejected.
Editors have their reason when they reject your story, and none of it has to do with who you are or how you look.
What is being accepted or rejected is your story, and not you. It is never personal. Because unless the editor knows you as a person, to the editor, you are a stranger.
The mind is like any muscle; it needs practice. Will power, self-control, or self-regulation are cognitive skills you can learn. As Nike says, ‘just do it’ until the results are in your favor.
Final thoughts
Writing is not like being locked in a room, where someone tells you that if you choose not to eat the marshmallow, more significant rewards await you.
In writing, there are many ways you are rewarded, regardless if you exercise self-control or not.
The core value behind writing is hard work and to have the discipline to keep on doing it.
One must never reject oneself and always temper your writing rules with spontaneity. Life isn't all about writing; it is a small part of who you are.
Whenever you feel the need to break the rules, go and eat your writer’s ‘marshmallow,’ but don’t eat the whole bunch, it can be both bad for your teeth and writing.
