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2058

Abstract

y beautiful girls. She offered $7000 — and that the girl would buy a Mercury Montero for us to cruise in. On weekdays we would both do our jobs. And on weekends, we would share an apartment and be lovers.This sounded way too good to be true. So I consulted a lawyer friend and was advised that he could draw up an effective prenup all right. But if at any time in the next 10 years (after we split — which would happen 2 years hence — the time it took to get her a green card) she went on welfare, the government would come after me for the money.That, combined with the reality that the girl felt absolutely nothing for me, was all the incentive I needed to not marry her — amazing body notwithstanding.But really, that was just the beginning. Next up was a petit Korean girl who offered 25 k — but no sex. She didn’t appeal to me. And I didn’t need the money (though it was a lot). I passed.Still, there was one time I considered an offer. Mila was a Colombian girl I fell for at first sight. And when a year later, a mutual friend offered that Mila would give me 12 k to marry her, I was tempted!But when I approached my fiance to conduct an audition — as in an audition in the room — she told me in Spanish “you’re my little brother.”Talk about a boner killer! I was planning on scoring 12 k and a lot of tender loving care. That comment left little wiggle room. And that was the end of that.Once upon a time, there was a Korean owner who actually wanted me to sleep with her new girls. She would offer a free session in exchange for my writing a review on a major website which would bring customers to her place. In that most of her new girls were extremely attractive, I went for the deal. One of the girls was especially cute.A few years later, that same girl became an owner — and a customer who bought ads from me. And one day, she offered either 25 k for marriage — or no payment but

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an actual marriage during which I could access her physical bounty repeatedly.I gave her a sideways look and commented “that’s no deal. I want the 25 k and the ‘marriage,’ too.”She laughed me off — and that was the end of the conversation. As cute as she was, I didn’t find her all that wonderful in bed. Plus, she’d proven herself to be a diva a few times in our business relationship. No sale.If you want to know why I’m single, now you know. I passed on some real head-turners — some of whom would have had sex with me in the arrangement. It just didn’t seem organic. In the back of my mind, I always thought “what if I actually meet somebody and fall in love?” I wanted to leave myself open to real opportunity.But I digress. Eventually, girls would approach me asking if I knew anybody who wanted to get married — knowing that my answer would be no if they wanted me to take the vow.And I actually arranged for one guy to go through the two-year process required. Essentially, the couple had to know something about each other. Immigration officials would ask questions like “which side of the bed do you sleep on?” of each person, and “what kind of toothpaste does your fiance use?” There were meetings with officials all through the process which required a certain amount of interactions between the two parties.At some point in time, the government implemented a policy wherein the American had to earn 25 k per year on the books to be eligible for this hustle because obviously, there were too many indigent citizens seizing the opportunity to earn a few bucks and control an immigrant hooker’s life.Anyway, the entire marriage for green card deal was a real eye-opener for me, who didn’t really understand how many foreigners want to come to the USA and stay! Obviously, they’ll do almost anything in that pursuit — if they’re willing to marry the likes of yours truly. Enough said right there!</article></body>

The Marriage Proposals

There were many!

I’m not the world’s most handsome or eligible guy. So why would all these girls want to marry me?

If nothing else, I learned a lot about women in the process of selling ads to escorts for almost two decades. But all that sex and relationship insight I gained isn’t what I want to talk about today. It’s what I learned about the United States of America that was a revelation.

Bill Clinton once said that the measure of a country’s success can be viewed by observing how many people want to immigrate — versus emigrate. And I can tell you unequivocally, using that yardstick, the USA is a very successful country.

New York City’s escort rank and file featured women from all over the world. There were gaggles of Brazilians, Koreans, Chinese, Colombians, Russians, and Mexicans along with our American sisters. I thought driving a cab introduced me to the international community! Selling ads to escorts equaled and even surpassed what meeting all those cabbies did for my education in international cultures.

A great percentage of foreign hookers were of one mind: Marry an American to get a green card and stay in the USA. And who better for them to hook up with than a guy like me who knew how they made a living and accepted it?

Proposal number one came within a few months of my employment at Action Magazine when a Colombian madam suggested that I marry one of her incredibly beautiful girls. She offered $7000 — and that the girl would buy a Mercury Montero for us to cruise in. On weekdays we would both do our jobs. And on weekends, we would share an apartment and be lovers.

This sounded way too good to be true. So I consulted a lawyer friend and was advised that he could draw up an effective prenup all right. But if at any time in the next 10 years (after we split — which would happen 2 years hence — the time it took to get her a green card) she went on welfare, the government would come after me for the money.

That, combined with the reality that the girl felt absolutely nothing for me, was all the incentive I needed to not marry her — amazing body notwithstanding.

But really, that was just the beginning. Next up was a petit Korean girl who offered 25 k — but no sex. She didn’t appeal to me. And I didn’t need the money (though it was a lot). I passed.

Still, there was one time I considered an offer. Mila was a Colombian girl I fell for at first sight. And when a year later, a mutual friend offered that Mila would give me 12 k to marry her, I was tempted!

But when I approached my fiance to conduct an audition — as in an audition in the room — she told me in Spanish “you’re my little brother.”

Talk about a boner killer! I was planning on scoring 12 k and a lot of tender loving care. That comment left little wiggle room. And that was the end of that.

Once upon a time, there was a Korean owner who actually wanted me to sleep with her new girls. She would offer a free session in exchange for my writing a review on a major website which would bring customers to her place. In that most of her new girls were extremely attractive, I went for the deal. One of the girls was especially cute.

A few years later, that same girl became an owner — and a customer who bought ads from me. And one day, she offered either 25 k for marriage — or no payment but an actual marriage during which I could access her physical bounty repeatedly.

I gave her a sideways look and commented “that’s no deal. I want the 25 k and the ‘marriage,’ too.”

She laughed me off — and that was the end of the conversation. As cute as she was, I didn’t find her all that wonderful in bed. Plus, she’d proven herself to be a diva a few times in our business relationship. No sale.

If you want to know why I’m single, now you know. I passed on some real head-turners — some of whom would have had sex with me in the arrangement. It just didn’t seem organic. In the back of my mind, I always thought “what if I actually meet somebody and fall in love?” I wanted to leave myself open to real opportunity.

But I digress. Eventually, girls would approach me asking if I knew anybody who wanted to get married — knowing that my answer would be no if they wanted me to take the vow.

And I actually arranged for one guy to go through the two-year process required. Essentially, the couple had to know something about each other. Immigration officials would ask questions like “which side of the bed do you sleep on?” of each person, and “what kind of toothpaste does your fiance use?” There were meetings with officials all through the process which required a certain amount of interactions between the two parties.

At some point in time, the government implemented a policy wherein the American had to earn 25 k per year on the books to be eligible for this hustle because obviously, there were too many indigent citizens seizing the opportunity to earn a few bucks and control an immigrant hooker’s life.

Anyway, the entire marriage for green card deal was a real eye-opener for me, who didn’t really understand how many foreigners want to come to the USA and stay! Obviously, they’ll do almost anything in that pursuit — if they’re willing to marry the likes of yours truly. Enough said right there!