Bipolar Life
The Many Short Races of Mental Illness: Why the Small Wins Matter
Reflecting on a coping skill I learned in therapy.
*TW: Childhood abuse
“Don’t focus on this month, this week, or even tomorrow,” my therapist told me. “Focus on this minute. Conquer this minute and then the next one.”
After months of therapy, I finally opened up to my therapist about some of my most painful secrets, including memories of childhood sexual abuse. They were stories I never told, rarely even admitting them to myself. But I knew I had to face them to get past the trauma.
Telling the story induced a panic attack, like I was living through the horrors for the first time. I was shaking and sobbing and every muscle in my body was screaming in pain.
“How can memories hurt so much?” I asked her.
“You’re doing great,” she told me after I finished the story. “But we need to work on your coping skills.”
“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.”
— Walter Elliot
Learning Coping Skills
My therapist was right.
I didn’t know how to deal with the pain, so I numbed it with alcohol and a life full of running from one activity to the next. That only made things worse. With my therapist’s help, we started working on creating coping mechanisms, including deep breathing and visualization.
“I want you to close your eyes and picture yourself in a safe place,” she said. “It can be anywhere you feel comfortable.”
I pictured myself on a white sand beach of the Florida panhandle.
The sun was shining, and the aqua waves were crashing across my feet as I walked along the shore. I felt the warm, wet sand between my toes and the warmth of the sun caressing my skin. The sound of the gentle lap of the small waves hitting the shore washed away my stress. It was peaceful and calming and became my safe place.
“Now, when you start to feel anxious or stressed, I want you to close your eyes and picture yourself in that safe place,” she said. “You can stay there for as long as you need to.”
Putting Visualization Into Practice
The visualization exercises helped me immensely.
Whenever I started to feel overwhelmed, I would close my eyes and picture myself on the beach. It was a way to escape the pain, even if just for a few minutes.
Eventually, I felt better. Not overnight, but in time, after putting in the effort and refusing to give up.
The panic attacks became less frequent, and I could cope with the pain in healthier ways. I started walking every day and that helped me release some of the pent-up energy and frustration. And each time I returned home from a walk, it was a small victory, like crossing a finish line. It was a reminder that I could overcome anything.
The walks started at just 10 minutes, but eventually turned into five miles a day.
Those walks got me through tough times. They showed me that perseverance is not about running one long race; it’s about many short races, one after the other.
Every time you cross the finish line, it’s a victory. And every victory makes you stronger.
Celebrating Small Wins
If you’re struggling with mental illness, know that the small wins matter.
Your win might be making it through today or getting out of bed this morning. It might be getting dressed or putting in a full day of work. All of those victories are worth celebrating.
Every one of them.
Each day is a new race and you never know what obstacles will be in your way. With perseverance, you can overcome anything.
Mental illness can feel like one long race with no end in sight, but never forget it’s really just a series of many short races. Focus only on your current race, and celebrate every time you cross a finish line. Instead of focusing on the end goal, think only of the next minute, the next hour, the next day. And eventually, you’ll make it to the next finish line.
How do you keep going on the tough days? Please share your recommendations in the comments.
Writing About Short Races
Spend some time today thinking about the many short races in your life. Use these writing prompts to guide you.
Journal Prompt: What can you do to help you get through this minute? How can you use that lesson to conquer larger blocks of time?
Creative Writing Prompt: A grandfather is telling stories to his grandson, who is about to leave home for the first time. The story starts with the grandfather saying, “Of course, that wasn’t the race that mattered.”
Until next time, keep fighting.
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