The Man In Blue and the Trans Cutie!

He got a little more than he bargained for

Hooker stories are for the most part incredibly boring. I could count on one hand the moments that I was sublimely entertained by a working girl in the 20 years I sold ads to the crew. But Alexandra, a transsexual who I visited in her apartment on the Upper East Side for a few years, had a real doozy.

It seemed that a week before, she’d been out partying with a cis (born female) friend, and at about 4 AM, stopped off at a deli to buy a sandwich. Right next to the two girls at the counter was what Alex described as a gorgeous Italian policeman in uniform.

Well, Alex is what I would call in the mid-passable range. A clueless guy might not realize she was born a male. And when you put her together with a born female, that rating leans toward very passable — if you know what I mean.

The cop didn’t spook her (girl talk for realizing she was trans) and after Alex flirted with him, he suggested they get together after his shift. Thrilled at the prospect, she gave him her number, and two hours later, the phone rang with the officer on the other end.

Promiscuous lady that she was, Alex invited him over. And within minutes, they were making out on the couch with him slobbering her upper body parts and getting all hot at the prospect of heading down south.

The two adjourned to the bedroom, and in the heat of the moment, Alex let her guard down. The cop reached down to play with her vagina and got (what I understand from other colleagues) a big handful of the unexpurgated truth.

According to my client (Alex), the officer’s unit went from rock hard to marshmallow soft in an instant as he jumped off the bed, threw on his clothing, and ran out of her apartment. Pretty funny story, right? Not over.

Five minutes after he’d exited, Alex glimpsed a bag in the corner of her living room area and opened it to see the officer’s shield and (drum roll) weapon (not the one between his legs). Stunned, she had no idea what to do. Alex hadn’t committed a crime (at least not with him) — and had no way to contact him.

No matter. Within minutes there came a frantic knock at the door! Alex knew who it was. She grabbed the bag, cracked the door just enough, threw the bag into the hallway, and slammed the door shut! Whew! That was strange.

Alex shook off the entire episode as I’m sure most trans girls can (having had similar experiences with men who thought they were born women). She was most relieved to get rid of his property. After all, what’s a trans girl gonna do with a badge and another gun? Three days later, her phone rang with guess who. He wanted to swing by for a visit.

Now, I don’t know if their foreplay arrived at the point at which she fellated him. She didn’t say. But obviously, there was something in that forbidden fruit that preyed on his mind and compelled the man to reconsider his hasty decision to run upon discovering Alex was just a little more woman than he wanted to handle. You know what they say about trans or gay head, right?

For Alex’s part, she had no interest in the cop once he’d bolted from her apartment. And his second overture met with a firm “no way, dude!” That irresistible he was not! Oh well!

These kinds of stories were a dime a dozen in the trans hooker community. But when the guy is a cop? And he leaves his gun behind? Now that’s entertainment!