The Authentic Eclectic

The Male Brain: Does it Have a Saturation Point or Are Their Ears Blocked with Hair?

An honest question because we love men and Swiss cheese

I have a need.

A strong need.

It’s an extremely intense, ‘I just have to qualify these upcoming thoughts before I spill them all out and make a mess of my explanation’ need.

First of all, I love men.

I want to make that really clear.

This is not a negative story about any man or every man. I am not in the business of making sweeping generalizations, anyway.

Please, factor in all of this that I am a kind person to a fault. I will never willfully or purposely say or do hurtful things.

These are mere observations involving the men who my girlfriend and I have encountered as of late.

Did I mention that I love men?

I love men.

This is not about age, intelligence, or any disdain regarding hair in the ears. It’s just an innocent question, I promise.

Does the male brain retain initial information that is permanently embedded and can’t be over-written?

This question centers on relationships, friendships, romantic or not.

Let’s say, for the sake of setting the scene, that everyone involved is in the 50 to 60ish age bracket.

Hair in the ears is a natural phenomenon, especially as men age. It’s not likely that I will be conducting a thorough inspection to see how much blockage may exist. Though, if it’s curling around the earlobe, it could very well limit the ability to receive new information.

But, what if there is nothing noticeable sprouting from the ear canals? There has to be a reasonable explanation for our experiences. She and I are wondering if it is possible that the male brain can simply become too full to add any additional tidbits?

My friend is dating a guy and he randomly, and proudly, insists how he knows she doesn’t like Swiss cheese. By the third time of reiterating that she does, in fact, like Swiss cheese, she lost a grip on her politeness.

Her reaction confused him.

He cannot remember this small fact about her, to save his life. In turn, he gets defensive when he doesn’t understand her elevated, impassioned plea, to set the record straight. Again.

Even though we laughed about it, it is frustrating for her. She is getting tweaked every time she has to repeat herself. Now, she is starting to sound angry about liking the damn cheese.

He was married twice before, so maybe one of those former wives would turn her nose up at it?

Is that kind of information a one-and-done thing where it will never be overwritten down the line of new women? Can she no longer have Swiss cheese because his first wife hated it?

If this was an isolated incident, anyone would find us simply ridiculous for analyzing this, especially because it’s just cheese.

But, it’s more than cheese. I swear.

I have had to correct similar statements far too many times, where the truth won’t stick. I am much more patient than my girlfriend, and even I get irritated enough that it is difficult to hide.

It’s hard not to audibly sigh when I hear the same erroneous assessments get revisited. My shoulders sink as I exhale with exhaustion.

I end up answering very methodically, like a bad tourist who thinks slower and louder will be better understood by the foreigner with whom they are conversing.

Exasperated, I will clearly enunciate each word, starting with, “No…”

• My ex-husband did not leave me for a younger woman.
• He did not divorce me because I was fat.
• My ex-husband didn’t leave me at all.
• I was never in my High School Band. It wasn’t me that you are remembering.
• Our grandson had nothing to do with my divorce; it was already in the works before he arrived.
• I am not a New York City girl because I grew up in New Jersey. Southern New Jersey. Suburbia, cornfields, cow pastures, and farms were all around us.
• I won’t fight anyone to prove a point because, again, that’s their version of a New Yorker.
• I did not lose a ton of weight after I divorced. I weigh the same. Fact.

Let’s face it, the fixation with my weight and the new wife’s age is an entirely different topic to discuss another time. I have had to work really hard to avoid asking what in the hell extra weight would have to do with loving me, anyway. But I don’t want to investigate those thoughts, here.

Let’s stick with the issue at hand.

Is it a man’s memory overload, or a decreased ability to hear, that is causing a roadblock to inhibit the absorption or retention of any new information?

None of our female friends have problems differentiating new relationship facts from the past ones.

Just to be clear, I never give one-sentence answers. Just ask my kids. I am an equal opportunity over-explainer. If I had purse-sized pie charts and graphs, I would use them to assist in my verbal power-point presentation.

So, it’s not as if I am not clear in my explanations.

And, quite frankly, there shouldn’t be much confusion surrounding a like or dislike of Swiss cheese, either.

And yet, nothing was retained by the particular men we were referencing. The similarities were troubling us. Not one of the situations had huge gaps of time in-between the repeated misinformation, which could possibly account for forgetfulness.

Her cheese story was laughable because only 2 days elapsed from the first correction to her next clenched teeth and second correction.

I could hear her growling response for the third occurrence.

I. Love. Swiss. Cheese. Dammit. Give me Swiss!

And, if I run into my same guys tomorrow or 6 months from now, I would wager all my bitcoin that they would eventually make one of the same misstatements about my divorce, New Jersey, or my weight.

Again.

As we went through our list of continual inaccuracies, laughing, as sister-friends do, we ultimately ended up with no concrete answer.

Did I mention we love men?

It’s just a question, and we would love to understand. That’s why I ask everything, all the time, anyway. If it’s as easy as the ol’ hair in the ears, that’s fine. Just say the word.

Maybe personal information after a first wife, or long-term relationship, is challenging to over-write. Is it impossible to add new information specific to the new woman?

There is actually no wrong answer.

We just need any answer because curious minds want to know. And we already know that it isn’t as easy as, he’s just not that into you, because that is just plain silly.

We’re still going to laugh about it, regardless.

Don’t forget, before you get your knickers all in a twist, we love men.

Did I mention we love men?

And, Swiss cheese, don’t forget the Swiss cheese.

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