The Magic of Just Letting Go

I zapped away a depressive episode with 1 Ecstatic Dance session.

I love to dance. I mean absolutely love it. I find it therapeutic, energising and liberating. So, when lockdown happened, my biggest loss was a twice-weekly Zumba class. I did try doing it at home but it’s just not the same bouncing around your front room, in front of the tele with the dog trying to join in. You need the vibe of the others in the class to really get the full zing.

I was delighted when my gym reopened… for about 5 minutes until I realised Zumba was not on the timetable. Apparently its perfectly safe to have 20 people in a studio doing body conditioning, body combat or yoga, but completely unsafe to have the same 20 people in the same studio doing Zumba. Infuriating.

When my friend Caroline invited me to an Ecstatic Dance session in a Yurt, I jumped at the opportunity. Ecstatic dance is described as, ‘Without the need to follow specific steps, dancers abandon themselves to the rhythm and move freely as the music takes them, leading to trance and a feeling of ecstasy’(Wikipedia). All the dancing I have done prior to this has been following an instructor. Apart from at nightclubs, I had never (at least sober) danced freestyle for hours.

I arrived at the venue, which was in the grounds of an organic farm and you have to walk through the farm shop to get to the Yurt behind. Can I just stop to talk for a minute about organic farm shops? I really love these too. I feel like I’m being transported back to a previous life where food is exactly as it should be. All rugged and muddy, straight out of the ground from the field next door, with mis-shapen carrots and hap-hazard leaves still in place. The shop smelled amazing too, it had a pantry with things like Fenugreek and other grains and spices that I have no idea how to use but want to buy anyway. I think I could have stayed in there for an hour and had an amazing time.

It was an interesting experiment to see how oppressed I was

The yurt was perfect for the occasion. Beautifully lit, a lovely cosy atmosphere and wooden floor so we could go bare feet. At the beginning it was all a bit restrained; like the start of a school disco where no one wants to dance first. It was also an interesting experiment to see how oppressed I was. For the first 45 minutes, I was so self-conscious I found it really difficult to completely let go and do whatever I wanted. I had my eyes closed and was absolutely convinced that if I opened my eyes, everyone would be staring at me. But they weren’t. This is not paranoia by the way. I fully expect people to be staring at me in any other situation if I started freestyle dancing.

I found my body had ideas all of its own which way it wanted to move.

With the help of the other people in the group, clearly free-styling and having a fantastic time, I managed to completely let go. I found my body had ideas all of its own which way it wanted to move. It was really quite fascinating to allow this process to unfold by itself, my body first wanting to jigg one way then bounce another way, arms flailing all over the place. It was like, if you don’t consciously move your body, it will take over and do what it needs to do to sort itself out.

A couple of weeks before the session had there had been a stressful family incident which had left me with a lingering low mood that was proving difficult to shift. Allowing my body to do its own thing, I could feel the negative feelings unwinding themselves as my body moved around. At this point I realised why it was called Ecstatic Dance. It really was just that. I felt euphoric as the endorphins filled my body and was amazed that this was virtually free. Everyone at the session reported feeling the same, ‘Whoops’ were going off and some people were bursting into tears. It was so liberating.

On the way out, it was a lovely late summer evening and I had that gorgeous feeling you get when you are out in the evening on holiday. You know the one where your completely relaxed and happy with no worries in the world. I also noticed the tingling feeling in my feet I get when I have intentionally done grounding exercises . (I wrote about grounding here if you want to know more). So, I have to conclude that ecstatic dancing may also be an effective grounding exercise.

I’ve done 2 sessions of Ecstatic dance and am completely hooked already. I can see how lifechanging it is, not only massively improving my mood, it’s also helping me go beyond my self-imposed barriers and liberating me. I really hope everyone reading this tries it to experience the euphoria for themselves. I’m certain, (for me at least) it is a powerful, natural anti-depressant and I would love to hear the transformative effects it has for you.

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