The Lunch Thief
Strangely enough, after that day, no one ever reported a stolen lunch or drink again.
The daze of my youth continue…
Many years ago I was the foreman in a very hot factory that made concrete blocks — tens of thousands every day. The work was hot, heavy, fast moving, dirty, greasy, exceedingly loud, dangerous, and back breaking. That was on the good days.
And instead of a lunch room we had 2 old plastic coolers to store our lunches and drinks inside, with only concrete blocks to sit on as the machines ran non stop 12–16 hours a day.
One day one of the men who worked for me reported that his lunch had been stolen. The next day another employee reported that his drink had been stolen. Day after day our lunches and drinks were getting stolen, and while I suspected it had to be one of the few people that weren’t stuck at their assigned places I couldn’t prove it. I had to come up with a plan.
So on my way home from work one evening I bought a 2 liter bottle of Cheerwine and several bottles of ATF. (Automatic transmission fluid.)
When I got home I poured all the Cheerwine into separate containers, thoroughly washed the bottle, and carefully filled it with ATF. Then I tightly screwed the cap back on the bottle and put it in the freezer. No, the ATF wouldn’t freeze but I wanted it to be ice cold when I took it to work the next morning.
No one touched the bottle of Cheerwine for the next few days but someone kept stealing lunches and drinks. It was only a matter of time so each night after everyone left I carried the bottle home and placed it back in the freezer.
One day I saw one of the janitors running towards the restroom coughing up Cheerwine and red stains on the back of his pants as the ATF had gone straight through him. When someone inquired about the suspected poisoning of the janitor I replied, “He doesn’t work in our department.” Nothing else was said.
Strangely enough, after that day, no one ever reported a stolen lunch or drink again.