The Lost Art of Vagina Swooshing

Orgasm is the great redeemer

Once upon a time, on an island far, far away lived Tempek, the OG vagina swoosher.

Tempek was famous for swooshing vaginas the right way and always at the right time. Vaginas from all over the world came to Tempek for a blissful swooshing experience.

Soon enough, venture capitalists saw the opportunity in this practice.

They came to Tempek and told him how much money he could make by selling vagina swooshing community cohort-based courses.

He could change the world by teaching others his art instead of practicing it himself. He could have a multiplied impact and become famous.

Instead of enjoying his daily life swooshing vaginas, he could enjoy the extraordinary life of opening conferences and company gatherings worldwide, talking about the newest vagina swooshing tools and best practices.

Tempek could even launch his own monokini line. Someone had thought of a great tagline.

With Tempek’s Monokini, your vagina’s always ready for an optimal swooshing experience.

Tempek’s new extraordinary life would be full of online courses explaining the 101s of vagina swooshing and telling us how to go from zero to hero when it comes to vagina swooshing.

But Tempek didn’t feel like scaling up.

Tempek didn’t want all the money the venture capitalists were already throwing his way. He only wanted his daily walk in the park, the singing of the birds in the trees, lunch with his partner, and a sauna with friends later in the afternoon.

All the while, swooshing a few vaginas here and there.

If someone wanted to become an apprentice in the art of vagina swooshing, he would consider it, but he didn’t want to promote the offer. Tempek didn’t want to impose himself in the mind of other people.

It would be contrary to all the vagina swooshing philosophy he had developed over the years.

It was all about respect and choices, about trust and acceptance. One had to be open and listen to the vaginas for the swooshing to be adequate. One had to show the vagina love and to help the vagina understand they had the free will to be swooshed or not.

Claiming on billboards, virtual or not, that he was a professional swoosher wouldn’t feel right. It would be influencing the choice of people. It would be pushing in one direction when people were wise enough to make their own vagina swooshing choices.

So Tempek said no to the private equity suckers, and humanity lost the art of vagina swooshing.

Tempek kept on swooshing vaginas till the day he died but never took an apprentice.

Very few even asked to be considered.

Somehow, people had so much respect for his practice that they didn’t want to spoil it by introducing new elements or the naivety of young apprentices. People felt like this vagina swooshing era had to come to an end.

Its limited time made it even more pleasurable.

What would be the point of coming from the other side of the planet for a vagina swooshing experience if it were still available 100 years from now?

Tempek’s vagina swooshing was to remain a singularity in space and time. A reminder that when it comes to vagina swooshing, there’s no better moment than the present moment.

Thanks to my Grandma, the lost art of vagina swooshing has been found again. Use this affiliate link now to buy the ultimate vagina swoosher for an experience worthy of Tempek’s technique and philosophy. And become a Tempek Club Platinum Member today if you want to stay informed of the latest trends in vagina swooshing.