avatarTom Handy

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

4893

Abstract

work well for them. Moreover, some might have been conditioned by the idea that if a student could not perform well within a system that had worked for them, the problem lay with the student rather than the system.</p><p id="7a58">Although there is now a better understanding of learning disabilities, that understanding does not translate into the entirety of the education industry, with still too few schools and colleges catering to those who learn differently. Even then, those with mild learning disabilities or who are wired to learn differently could still fall off the curb.</p><p id="7024">In other words, if you are not the kind to learn well by rote or abstract reasoning, or if you are the kind to get distracted too easily not just by external stimulus but by over-obsession with details that others might skip over easily, then the conventional form of teaching, learning, and assessment will usually indicate that you are an under-performer.</p><p id="27bf">For instance, if you are very proficient with practical, artistic, and mechanical skills but fail to grasp mathematics and abstract sciences in the ways they were usually taught, the school authorities might think you are a better fit for vocational training than the academic route.</p><p id="3142">While this might appear to be empowering at a glance, it is actually another form of disempowerment. By convincing you that your talents can only lie in particular areas and that you should not even try to go that other route if you fail, the educational establishment need not expand its resources to diversify teaching and learning.</p><p id="5976">In other words, if you are good with words or art but perpetually fail school math, you should not even think about becoming a mathematician and engineer. The inverse is true — you may love to draw but find that you do not possess the supposed ‘natural’ aptitude that talented artists are supposed to have, so you think the world of art and all it entails might be the wrong choice for you.</p><p id="e405">Some learned belatedly as adults that what they thought they could never be good enough for was complete hogwash, as documented in the work of <a href="https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674034648">David Edwards</a> and <a href="https://barbaraoakley.com/books/learning-how-to-learn/">Barbara Oakley</a>, but these are the minorities and largely from the more elite sections of society. For many, they would feel that there is no turning back.</p><h1 id="0b70">3. Is there anything that you can do about this?</h1><figure id="d490"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*1H-22aqKtWronQRi"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@hillary_jeanne?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Hillary Ungson</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="7616">That depends on your willingness and where you are at in life. For those still within the K-12 system (or if you are parents of children of K-12 students facing some of the issues I have mentioned), here are some workarounds that I wished I knew as a student and which I know very well as a college teacher.</p><h2 id="bd6c">A. Teachers are very human with their own biases, prejudices, and blind spots.</h2><p id="b0b7">But this does not mean that you cannot make full use of what they have to offer. You begin by asking questions, and lots of them. A lesson I learned from teaching very young children is how they are not afraid to ask questions or sound stupid, and this self-confidence appears to depreciate the older they get as learning traumas accumulate.</p><p id="1300">In school or college, you may find that certain subjects come more easily to you than others, and usually, that means that how the subject is or was taught to you resonates more with how you are wired.</p><p id="8f29">Find out if you could apply some of the same methods that have worked well for you in these other subjects to subjects that are your weak points. Don’t try to do this all alone — talk to your teachers or principal if possible. If you find the teacher to be less than helpful, try to look around for other potential resources for help (the Internet could be helpful if you look the right way).</p><h2 id="eca2">B. Try thinking about the subjects you hate in the same way that you think about the topics you love.</h2><p id="10e5">Although I was a science student and even became a science major in college, I actually found the formal learning of science exceedingly hardgoing and uninspiring, so my formal education in science saw me with mixed grades. For the longest time, I did not understand why what made sense to others was so confusing to me.</p><p id="3e71">Although I love the big ideas science carries, I could not make myself care about their mundane details. It was not

Options

until I started studying literature formally (which was the beginning of my entry into other humanistic studies), that I finally realized how naive and wrong-headed I had been about learning.</p><p id="d33f">I took to studying literature easily, because a young love for stories had already wired my brain to look into multiple layers of meaning within a text, finding intentions in the interactions among characters, and even to see how events, both the tangible and abstract, could be connected to each other.</p><p id="6c31">As a highschooler and, later, college student, I mistakenly thought that science was not like that when that was never the case. Those who did well intuitively understood the importance of finding your own resonance with the material you are learning rather than using another person’s approach.</p><p id="8ef3">Many years after that realization, I ran a <a href="https://www.epicurusartsci.com/news-and-announcement">project</a> teaching STEM educators the importance of awakening the imagination of their students, not by imposing a specific way of thinking on the students, but by allowing the students to form and then examine the narratives they have formed about the topics they are learning in a way that is fitting with their experience and level of knowledge.</p><p id="4c9f">That project was inspired by earlier projects relating to artscience learning I had subsequently written up and <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/358954493_Channelling_Artscience_Through_Fan-Fiction_for_Diversifying_STEM_Approaches_in_Participatory_Learning_in_Malaysia">published</a>. All of these projects were my own adult exploration of the what-ifs of learning if I could relive the life of a youthful learner.</p><h2 id="5e8d">C. Struggling makes you a better person.</h2><p id="04b3">As a college teacher, I had taken a continuing course on college teaching with a math professor from another institution. She told the participants of the course that math did not come easily to her despite being a math educator today and that she had struggled hard as a student.</p><p id="c70f">However, it was this struggle that made her an empathetic teacher and more determined to find ways to make math work even for the most math-phobic student (as an aside, math phobia can have a terrible consequence on your life, especially in how you manage your finances regardless of how successful you might be otherwise).</p><p id="39e8">Many Nobel Prize winners <a href="https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/nobel-chemistry-winner-failed-the-first-college-chemistry-exam-101696437940956.html">struggled through failures</a> before they became the success everybody wanted to emulate. Entrepreneurs live with daily <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/11/why-failure-is-important-for-entrepreneurs-lessons-from-9-founders/">failures</a>, big and small.</p><p id="e2aa">If you have failed before, your ability to take calculated risks and tolerance for discomfort goes up. I came from an education system that punishes failure rather than uses it as a learning opportunity.</p><p id="48dc">Hence, it is not uncommon for those coming from such educational programming to associate anxiety with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/occams-corner/2016/jan/04/academic-anxiety-dreams-what-they-mean-jenny-rohn">dreams of taking an exam</a> while feeling thoroughly unprepared. As an educator, it became necessary to revisit that painful past so that I could develop more empathy toward my students.</p><p id="f41f">As an entrepreneur with empathy, you can create more meaningful products and meaningful work for your employees. If you are an adult today and have always had problems with a subject or in learning a particular skill due to the way you were taught, now you are in a sufficiently safe space to try again without needing to compete with another person.</p><p id="9403">I did that myself when I decided to enroll in courses on Coursera during the pandemic lockdown to work on subjects I used to have difficulties with. Without even caring about the outcome, confronting the fear left an impalpable sense of accomplishment.</p><p id="d914">Thank you for reading my story.</p><div id="af97" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@normasalim/subscribe"> <div> <div> <h2>Get an email whenever Clarissa Ai Ling Lee, PhD publishes.</h2> <div><h3>Get an email whenever Clarissa Ai Ling Lee, PhD publishes. By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don't…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Ikcee5gQpM1TlOFG)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

The Lost Art of Saying Thank You

7 times to use thank you from James Clear

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels

I told my son he needs to write a thank you letter to coaches sending him football letters to a camp. He put up a fight but if you’re a parent, you know the parent eventually wins. In general, I think some people forget to send thank you notes.

After spending time in the military, you’re taught customs and courtesies. After the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, I think some military traditions were disappearing as well. One thing I learned early on was to thank people either in person or with a thank you card.

There is a need for common courtesies in general. I do my best to instill that in my kids. After speaking to my son’s Assistant Principal a little over a year ago, he said my son was well mannered and spoke to him respectfully. Hearing that from another adult is a good feeling as a parent.

Saying thank you is a common courtesy people need to have in their vocabulary. These two words can be used in a lot of situations today. This phrase can help strengthen a bond in every day relationships.

I don’t say “Thank You” as often as I should and I doubt I’m the only one.

James Clear

Author and entrepreneur James Clear wrote about the seven times a person should say thank you.

1. Say “Thank you” when receiving a compliment.

James said people ruin compliments and try to act macho instead of thanking the other person. When you deflect a compliment you internally don’t acknowledge that someone had something nice to say.

Example: “Your dress looks great.”

  • Instead of: “Oh, this old thing? I’ve had it for years.”
  • Try saying: “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

2. Say “Thank you” when you’re running late.

When you’re late for a meeting or an appointment, it is the worst feeling. You’re under stress to make the appointment and then you also disrespect the person waiting. What you should do is acknowledge the person instead.

Example: You walk in the door 14 minutes late.

  • Instead of: “So sorry I’m late. Traffic was insane out there.”
  • Try saying: “Thank you for your patience.”

3. Say “Thank you” when you’re comforting someone.

When someone tells you bad news, what do you say next? It’s an uncomfortable feeling and sometimes you’re at a loss for words. What you should do is be present and let them know that you heard what they said.

Example: Your brother lost his job.

  • Instead of: “At least you have your health.”
  • Try saying: “Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m here to support you.”

4. Say “Thank you” when you’re receiving helpful feedback.

When you receive feedback, many people take it the wrong way. In your mind, you may be grumbling that the person doesn’t know what they’re talking about. In reality, they are only helping you get better.

Example: “This work isn’t good enough. I thought you would do better.”

  • Instead of: “You don’t understand. Here’s what really happened.”
  • Try saying: “Thank you for expecting more of me.”

5. Say “Thank you” when you’re receiving criticism.

Criticism always comes off the wrong way and you think the person has no heart. The best approach is to thank them anyway.

When you thank a person for their comment, you weaken what they said. You might actually throw them off guard when you do this.

Example: “This might be good advice for beginners, but anyone who knows what they are doing will find this useless.”

  • Instead of: “Well, clearly, I wrote this for beginners. This might be a surprise, but not everything was written with you in mind.”
  • Try saying: “Thank you for sharing your opinion. I’ll try to improve next time.”

6. Say “Thank you” when someone gives you unsolicited advice.

This happens often when you are at the gym and someone gives you a tip on your workout. The same situation also occurs as a writer receiving advice from other writers or publishers.

Example: “You know, you should really keep your hips back when you do that exercise.”

  • Instead of: “Oh really? Do you have a video of yourself doing it so I can see it done correctly?”
  • Try saying: “Thank you for the help.”

7. Say “Thank you” when you’re not sure if you should thank someone.

When someone does something for you, the best thing to do is to say thank you. Something inside of you is telling you to say thank you. So just follow up and say thank you. There is no harm in saying this.

  • “Should I send a Thank You card in this situation?” Yes, you should.
  • “Should I tip him?” If you don’t, at least say thank you.

Do you say thank you enough?

See these other articles for more tips.

Tom Handy is a top writer on Medium, former Quora writer, and father of two kids. He retired from the Army and sits on several non-profit boards. You can find him on Twitter @tomhandy1 and his publication Life is Like a Game.

Self Improvement
Life Lessons
Manners
Writing
Writer
Recommended from ReadMedium