Summary

The author reflects on a pivotal moment of choosing between an average life and an extraordinary one aligned with divine purpose, ultimately rejecting the latter due to fear and a preference for immediate gratification, leading to years of regret and struggle.

Abstract

In "The Long Way To Salvation," the author recounts a personal crossroads where they were faced with the decision to pursue a life of extraordinary potential or settle for mediocrity. While standing under a towering pine tree, the author felt a divine connection beckoning them towards a life of purity and commitment, which they rejected in favor of a hedonistic lifestyle. This choice, driven by greed and laziness, resulted in a life marred by missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential, despite moments of clarity when writing. The narrative serves as a cautionary tale about the consequences of turning away from one's divine calling and the ongoing struggle to reconcile past decisions with the desire to live a life of purpose.

Opinions

The author believes in the existence of a divine path and the importance of aligning with it for personal fulfillment.
They acknowledge their own shortcomings, such as greed and laziness, as significant barriers to embracing their true purpose.
There is a deep sense of regret and shame for not living up to their potential, especially in the context of family.
The author sees their writing as a conduit to their truest self and a way to connect with others authentically.
They advocate for strength and perseverance in the pursuit of a righteous path, urging others not to make the same mistakes they did.

The Long Way To Salvation

The true story of a burden lifted by telling you the truth.

Art by Author Lori Brown (Full-Size Below)

The difference between average and extraordinary

Once again I am standing at a fork in the road. The choices are average or extraordinary. A few steps in one direction will lead me to the path of my dreams and the life I am meant to live. A few steps in the other direction and I go on to be acceptable by most standards without reaching my full potential.

The wrong choice

I looked up once — into the branches of a lanky, brown pine tree. It towered over me hauntingly tall so that I had to tilt my head back to see the top of it.

I was paralyzed by the magic of the earth at that moment. I was swaying with the wind and feeling a warmth that spread through my soul. It was a visit from God if ever there was such a thing.

I remember thinking of the life I was destined to live. I could feel the start of a life people only dream of. As much as I wanted to be this ideal version of me it also sounded like so much hard work. If I was to be the best version of myself I would have to make a full commitment to being pure of mind and totally sober. Being a party girl at the time, I knew that sobering up was not going to be a smooth ride.

There I stood, with this holy presence in the tree I was gazing up at. The power was something much bigger than my small world. I felt the energy of the universe pleading. Begging even. It was asking me to walk a divine path and I was selfish and I was scared of the true power in front of me. I turned down the glorious road ahead. I refused the embrace of my purpose. I said no to God.

I said “Not yet. Maybe a little later in my life. I am not ready to commit to the righteous path yet. It’s so much work. Let me have fun for a while longer, ok?”

I physically turned away from the tree. Knowing this was the closest I had ever come to connecting to divinity, I said no to God. That is a heavy, terrible truth.

I cried as I walked down the road away from the mystical forest patch, and it felt like leaving a disappointed parent standing alone with arms outreached and I didn’t accept the love.

I walked away.

I struggled every day since. Every time I have come to another moment with God I am encumbered by the weight of my refusal.

And even when I sincerely request the same divine love to come show me the way to be… my shame prevents me from tapping into it.

Years pass like minutes. The life I live and the life I am destined to live have too much distance between them. I love my family, and I know they are destined to be with me, but I have not given them my best. Not yet. Thus far I have failed to do my best for them. It all stems back from that day that I chose wrong.

It was greed and laziness that stopped me that day. It is greed and laziness that always slows me down.

Greed

I was young. I wanted to party and consume toxic drinks and toxic substances, I wanted to be wild and crazy and free but I wanted the shortcut which was found through a margarita glass or an ecstasy pill. Those dangerous shortcuts did bring freedom from worry. I believed these shortcuts allowed me to dance and sing and have joyful times. While it is true that toying with chemical shortcuts brought me toward my envisioned happiness, whenever I approached that blissful feeling I was met with disappointment. Instead of arriving at a state of contentment, I sped right past the joyful times. I was zooming out of control on a road of suffering and emptiness.

Laziness

I was aware of just how much effort it took to completely surrender myself to a higher divine purpose. I didn’t want to do the work. I still don’t. I hate admitting this fact. Once again, I can see now that what I wanted was the easy road — and there simply wasn’t one. No road that leads to greatness is easy. For many years I went against my own divine light. I kept on the road toward mediocrity.

I come close to the divine purpose when I write from the heart, as I am now.

This is why I shared my story with you, here in this way. The warmth radiates from my truest self, and I ask only for your understanding of my struggle, from one human to another.

May you have the strength to avoid greed and laziness on the righteous path.

May the callings of your divine self never be denied.