The Long Goodbye

A Poem

my dad may die tonight there is a helplessness taken hold left outside the door like his own father confused and lost down the street who just needed to get out of that apartment but could not find his way back frightening sure, but fine all the same while the worry settling in from this late summer

the worst kinds of moons — rattled tides and washed up triggers send it back I am not interested in the humanity of these memories

my dad may not die tonight but I may not sleep there is too much not to do that my restlessness will overtake me and in it, a staggering realization like his mother knowing her mind was gone or slipping, but too late to even succumb to anger I am numb until I can wait no longer

We are leaving without you.

© Samantha Lazar 2019

I’m a teaching and writing mom. Thank you for reading. Follow my 2020 Sky Collection Project, and subscribe to my newsletter to keep up to date!