The Lone Cinephile

Summary

Michele Grieve advocates for the benefits of solo cinema trips, emphasizing personal enjoyment and self-care.

Abstract

Michele Grieve, a self-proclaimed cinephile, shares her love for films and the joy she finds in going to the cinema alone. She challenges the societal perception that views cinema as a solely social activity, especially for women. Grieve argues that solo cinema visits allow for a more immersive experience without the distraction of companions, offering a form of self-care and personal indulgence. She encourages others, particularly women, to embrace solitude in public spaces like the cinema, theater, or even during meals out, as a means of self-discovery and empowerment. Grieve's personal anecdotes and reflections aim to inspire readers to find comfort and enjoyment in their own company.

Opinions

Solo cinema trips are seen as unusual or pitiful, especially for women.
Enjoying a film alone is comparable to reading a book alone and should be viewed as a normal activity.
Going to the cinema alone provides an opportunity to be self-absorbed and focus solely on one's own experience.
Women often feel they need to be in the company of others and may not be comfortable spending time alone.
Spending time alone at the cinema or other public places is a form of self-care and a way to stay connected with oneself.
There is a sense of pride and achievement in doing activities alone, which can be empowering.
Encouraging others to try solo outings can lead to a greater appreciation of one's own company and personal growth.

The benefits of going to the flicks alone

Photo by Merch HUSEY on Unsplash

I have adored films since I could focus on a screen, instantly falling in love with how they transported me into worlds other than my own. By age seven, I had a film journal, diligently entering a record of each one I watched, with details of the cast and director alongside a rudimentary critique. My record was seven in one day. Bless me.

Reading was my other passion for similar reasons. It’s interesting how we view reading as a solitary pursuit but when people find out that I go to the cinema alone, the reaction is always either one of pity or shock. Even my daughter released a patronizing “ahhh”, accompanied by a gentle head-tilt when she asked who I had seen “Ram” with the other night after I replied, “just me”.

The assumption is that going to the cinema is a social activity and there is something sad about a lonesome figure in the darkness, particularly if it is a woman. Why is that?

I go to the cinema alone by choice, there’s only a couple of friends I choose to go with on occasion. I love being allowed to fully absorb myself in the narrative, in the world of the piece without the need to care about my companion’s experience. There’s just me to worry about. As a single mother of two, I spend much of my time with others in mind, this is a chance to be selfish and I love it.

Let’s be honest, we don’t sit and read a novel simultaneously with anyone else, why is it such a stretch to enjoy a film alone? Mind you, I’ve been going to the cinema alone since I could drive, and the first multiscreen opened in the UK, The Point at Milton Keynes. Heaven was watching back-to-back offerings, on my own.

The issue, I believe is deeper. Let’s return to the pity or shock reactions, the latter almost always coming from my female friends. “I can’t imagine going to the cinema alone. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’d feel so conspicuous”, is a medley of what they often say. Why? You buy your ticket, take a seat and enjoy, just as you would if you were there with a companion.

I offer the concept that many women generally don’t spend enough time alone, content in their own company, particularly when in a relationship. Taking yourself out to dinner, the theatre, even on holiday is a wonderful experience and keeps you connected to who you are, aside from the roles we assume in life. I would argue it’s vital self-care. My seventeen-year-old daughter is already attending matinees alone and loves it. To fully share ourselves with another we need to know who we are, understand what there within us to share.

A friend of mine recently tried it and attended a film alone for the first time at forty-eight. She immediately called me afterward with such a sense of pride and achievement. She’s now making it a monthly treat.

I urge you to give it a go and see just how empowering, not to mention enjoyable it can be. If you don’t fancy going to the cinema, try the theatre or taking yourself out for lunch. Honestly, you’re more fun to hang out with than you know.

Michele Grieve is Writer, Journal Therapy Coach, and eternal tree hugger. Twitter @Page_soul